Delores Fossen - New Year Heroes - The Sheriff's Secretary / Veiled Intentions / Juror No. 7

He held her tight, rubbing her back as she clung to him. “Shh, I know,” he whispered.

She cried harder, tears that had been trapped deep inside her since the first night of the disappearance.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Let it out. Just let it all out.”

Her tears weren’t just for herself and her son, but also for him and his sister. And she knew he understood better than anyone the utter despair she felt. Surely he felt the same bitter disappointment that she did. They were no closer to finding Jenny than they were to finding Billy.

They stood in the embrace for a long time as slowly, painfully, Mariah cried herself out. When her tears were finally gone, there was nothing left inside her.

She was depleted … of emotion, of life. First the interview with Remy and now this, all for nothing. She was completely empty, numb.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” Lucas said gently.

Home, she thought. That place wasn’t a home. Not with Billy gone.

He led her to his car, and she slid into the passenger seat. She’d never felt so numb, as if she were dead. She closed her eyes and only opened them again when the car stopped in her driveway.

She stared at the house that she’d thought would be the place she and Billy would find happiness. They were finally free of Frank, and she’d been filled with such hope when she’d rented the house.

She’d hoped that Conja Creek would be the place where she could work a decent job and raise Billy with the kind of stability and joy that had been missing in the first years of his life.

She’d believed the biggest threat in her life was Frank, and when she’d finally escaped his grasp she thought it would be smooth sailing. She’d been a fool to expect happiness. She’d been a fool to believe that such a state of being was even possible for her.

“Come on,” Lucas said, pulling her from her thoughts. “You need a hot shower, and we need to do something about your hands.”

She looked at her hands, surprised to see that her knuckles were cut and bloody and her nails were chipped and torn.

Wearily she got out of the car, the numbness slowly passing as a chill took over. Lucas wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they entered the house, and by the time he led her to the bathroom she was trembling uncontrollably.

He started the water in the shower and laid out a clean towel for her. “After you get out, we’ll attend to those hands.” He stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

She slowly undressed and got beneath the hot spray of water, leaning weakly against the wall. She’d never felt so empty inside, as if everything that made her a living, breathing person had been drained away.

It scared her, the utter void. Even during the worst of times with Frank she’d never felt this way. Billy, her heart cried. Where are you?

She got out of the shower and dried off. She pulled a brush through her hair, then put on the white terry-cloth robe she retrieved from the hook on the back of the bathroom door.

Throwing her dirty clothes into her hamper, she felt lost. When she opened the bathroom door, she saw Lucas leaning against the wall in the hall and she knew in that instant what she needed, what she wanted. She needed some temporary insanity and she knew exactly who could give it to her.

LUCAS SIGHED IN RELIEF as she stepped out of the bathroom. She’d scared him. As she’d frantically dug in the flower bed, she’d been like a demented woman, and he was afraid she’d snapped.

But wrapped in a white robe, smelling like minty soap and with her hair damp, she appeared to be back in control. The crazy, zealous light in her eyes was gone.

“Better?” he asked.

To his surprise she stepped up directly in front of him, so close he could feel her soft breath on his face. “No, I’m not better.” Her blue eyes shimmered as she gazed up at him. “I’m cold inside and empty and I need you to make me warm. I need you to make me feel alive again.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

He stiffened and kept his hands at his sides, fighting the impulse to wrap her in his arms and pull her tightly, intimately against him. “Mariah, you’re in a bad place right now. We don’t want to do anything we’ll regret later.”

She pressed closer to him, and the first stir of desire didn’t just simmer inside him, it crashed through him.

“No regrets,” she replied. “I need you, Lucas. I need you to take me in your arms and make love to me. I need to make myself forget everything for just a little while.” Her voice trembled slightly.

“Mariah, I don’t want to take advantage of you,” he replied. He held himself rigid and tried not to think about her naked beneath the robe.

“You aren’t. I’m taking advantage of you.” She rose up on tiptoe and placed her lips against the underside of his jaw.

Lucas closed his eyes, fighting to be strong. But her lips were hot and sensual against his neck, and as she moved her hips against his the control he’d fought to maintain the last couple of days snapped.

He took her mouth with his, losing himself in the hunger for her and the momentary respite from the horror that had become her life and his own.

The kiss lasted only a moment, then she broke it, took his hand and led him down the hall to her bedroom. There was no hesitation in her step, and her hand held tight to his, as if she was afraid he might try to break away and run.

When they reached her bedroom, she dropped his hand and began to unbutton his shirt. As she worked the buttons, he unfastened his holster, took it off and set it on the nightstand.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew this was crazy, that there was no way making love to Mariah would make anything better, easier. It would probably make things worse. When this was all over she’d probably hate herself. But at the moment her need radiated from her and he also couldn’t deny that he wanted her.

When his shirt was unbuttoned, she ripped it from his shoulders and tossed it to the floor, then she walked over to the bed, pulled down the scarlet spread and shrugged out of her robe. She stood before him naked.

His breath caught in his throat. With the sunshine streaming through the window, painting her skin in gold tones, she was achingly beautiful. As he fumbled to get out of his slacks, she slid into bed beneath the sheets.

Crazy . He knew they both had gone stark-raving crazy, but he gave in to it, refusing to allow doubts any room in his head. He placed his wallet on the nightstand, then, as naked as she, he got into the bed and pulled her into his arms.

There was a frantic desperation in the kiss they shared, and her naked skin against his drove him half-mad with desire. She was warm and sweetly scented and it had been a very long time since he’d been with a woman. Work and Jenny had kept him busy, and it had been over a year since he’d taken time for even a superficial personal relationship.

But it wasn’t just that he was overdue for sexual release that had him gasping with want. It was Mariah herself.

She’d been nothing more than the mayor’s secretary when this all began, but in the past couple of days Lucas had seen her interminable strength, and she’d shared with him her past heartaches. He admired her and he liked her, and that as much as anything fed his desire for her and only her.

Their lips remained locked as his hands cupped her full breasts. Her nipples sprang to attention at his touch, and he grazed his thumb over them as she uttered a soft moan.

He broke the kiss and instead nipped lightly at the side of her slender neck, down across her collarbone, then he captured one of her erect nipples in his mouth.

She wound her fingers into his hair as he licked and sucked. She arched to meet his hardness, but he wasn’t ready to take her yet. He wanted her mindless with pleasure, knew that’s what she wanted … to be mindless.