Nikki Logan - It Had To Be You - Man of the Year 2016

How’s the writing going?

Molly x

To: Patrick Knight

From: Molly Cooper

Subject: Thank you!

Patrick, you darling! Sorry if that sounds too intimate, when we’ve never actually met, but it’s so, so sweet of you to send Discovering London’s Secrets. It arrived this morning. You must have organised it over the internet. How thoughtful!

Believe me—I’m deeply, deeply grateful. I’ve looked at other travel books in the shops, but they only seem to cover all the popular sights, which are fabulous, of course—there’s a reason they’re popular—but once you’ve done Piccadilly Circus and Buck Palace, the Tower and Hyde Park you’re hungry for more, aren’t you?

Now I’m so well informed I can really explore properly, just the way I’d hoped to.

This afternoon I went back to Hyde Park and found the hidden pet cemetery mentioned in this book. It was fascinating, with all those dear little mildewed headstones marking the final resting places of dogs, cats and birds, and even a monkey.

But to use the book you sent properly, I’m going to have to brave the Underground, and that still terrifies me. I hate to think that the whole of London is sitting on top of a network of tunnels and at any given moment there are thousands of people under there, whizzing back and forth in trains.

I do feel ashamed of myself for freaking out like this. I know avoidance only makes these things worse. I’m going to work at getting braver.

M x

To: Molly Cooper

From: Patrick Knight

Subject: Re: Thank you!

Hi Molly

Thanks for offering to send a map of the diving spots on the island. It’ll be very handy. I’ll keep an eye out for the mail van.

So glad you like the book. My pleasure. But, Molly, it does sound as if you’re getting yourself very worked up about using the Tube. Of course there are other ways to get around London, but if it’s bothering you, and you feel slightly phobic, maybe you need a helping hand?

If you like, I could ask my mother to pop around to No. 34. I know she’d be only too happy to show you the ropes. That’s not quite as alarming as it sounds. With me she’s extremely bossy, but everyone else claims that she can be very calming.

Best wishes

Chin up!

Patrick

To: Patrick Knight

From: Molly Cooper

Subject: Re: Thank you!

Dear Patrick

Yet again, thank you, but I’m afraid I can’t accept your offer of a visit from your mother. I know it was kindly meant, but I couldn’t impose on her like that.

From the way I rabbit on, you probably think I’m very young—but I’m actually twenty-four, and quite old enough to tackle the challenge of catching a train.

I’ve never liked to play damsel in distress, and, while this fear may be unreasonable, it’s something I must conquer on my own.

Sincerely

Molly

PS You haven’t mentioned your book. You must be very modest, Patrick. Or does your English reserve prevent you from confiding such personal information to a nosy Aussie?

Text message from Karli, April 19, 10.40 a.m.: U never told us yr house swapper is seriously hot.

To: Karli Henderson

From: Molly Cooper

Subject: House swap

Hi, Karli. Sorry—I can’t afford to reply to an international text message, so I’m resorting to e-mail. I must say your text came as a surprise. After all, the whole house swap idea came from you, and you knew I was swapping with a guy called Patrick Knight. As you also know, I only ever saw pictures of his house. I still have no idea what he looks like, so I couldn’t tell you anything about his appearance.

Actually, the lack of photos lying about here (not even an album that I can take a sneaky peek at) made me think that Patrick was shy about his appearance.

Is he seriously good-looking?

Honestly?

I’m having a ball here—not on the guy front (sigh), just exploring London. But I’m eventually going to have to get some work. The mortgage must be paid. As you know, Pandanus Cottage is my one and only asset, my key to getting ahead.

Have you spoken to Patrick? Does he have a sexy English accent? I’ve discovered that not many Londoners actually speak like Jeremy Irons or Colin Firth, which is a bit of a disappointment for me, but I suppose others wouldn’t agree. Beauty is in the ear of the receiver, after all.

How’s Jimbo?

Molly x

To: Molly Cooper

From: Karli Henderson

Subject: Re: House swap

Glad you’re having a great time, Mozza, but I’m not sure that I should give you too many details about your swapper’s looks. You might come racing home.

Be fair, girl. You’re over there in London with millions of Englishmen and we have just one here. Not that your Patrick has shown any signs of wanting to mix with the locals. He’s a bit aloof. Dare I say snooty? He brushed off Jodie Grimshaw. He was ever so polite, apparently, but even she got the message—and you know what that takes.

Our news is that Jimbo’s applying for a job with a boat builder in Cairns, so it could turn out that we won’t be on the island for much longer.

Have I told you lately that I’m very proud of you, Molly? I think you’re so brave to be living in a huge city on the far side of the world. All alone.

You’re my hero. Believe it.

Karli x

To: Karli Henderson

From: Molly Cooper

Subject: House swap

Karli, I’m sending positive thoughts to Jimbo for the job interview in Cairns, although I’m sure you know I’m going to really miss you guys if you leave the island. You’ve been my best friends my whole life!

But I can’t be selfish. I know how much you’d like Jimbo to have a steady job that pays well, and you’ll be able to start planning your future (including that trip to Vegas), so good luck!!

Re: Patrick Knight. I hope he’s not being too standoffish and stuck up, or the islanders will give him a hard time.

I’m sure he’s not really snooty. He and I have been swapping e-mails and he seems a bit reserved, but quite nice and helpful. Actually, he’s probably keeping to himself because he simply hasn’t time to socialise. He’s very busy writing a book, and he only has three months off, so he’ll have his head down, scribbling (or typing) madly.

Just the same, I think you’re mean not telling me more about him. He’s in my house, sleeping in my bed. Really, that’s a terribly intimate relationship, and yet I have no idea what he looks like!

Why are you holding back? What are you hiding about him? Maybe you could find time to answer a few quick questions?

Is Patrick tall? Yes? No?

Dark? Yes? No?

Young? Like under 35? Yes? No?

Is he muscular? Yes? No?

Good teeth? Yes? No?

All of the above?

None of the above?

M x

To: Molly Cooper

From: Karli Henderson

Subject: Re: House swap

Chillax, girlfriend.

All of the above.

K

To: Patrick Knight

From: Molly Cooper

Subject: FYI

Progress report on the tube assault by Ms Molly Elizabeth Cooper:

A preliminary reconnaissance of Sloane Square Tube station was made this afternoon at 2.00 p.m.

• Thirty minutes were spent in the forecourt, perusing train timetables and observing Londoners purchasing tickets and passing through turnstiles

• Names of the main stations on the yellow Circle Line between Sloane Square and King’s Cross were memorised—South Kensington, Gloucester Road, Notting Hill Gate, Paddington, Baker Street. Ms Cooper didn’t cheat. She loved learning those names and letting them roll off her tongue!