BEVERLY BARTON - Nine Months Part 3

“I want you to be honest. With yourself, as well as with me.” Tell me you love me.

“All right. The honest truth is that I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, but I hate needing you this way. I’ve always had control over every aspect of my life. You make me lose control. You make me crazy!”

Even though he couldn’t tell her that he loved her, Paige wondered if perhaps the feelings he did have for her were closer to love than anything he’d ever felt. Had their week together strengthened his feelings for her even more than she had hoped? Had Kay been right after all, about teaching Jared how to love? If so, this might be the first step in the learning process.

Leaning her head to one side, she rubbed her cheek across the top of his hand that held her left shoulder. He loosened his grip, ran his hand down her arm and circled her waist.

“I need to go back to my apartment for a few days,” she told him. “I can’t think rationally when we’re together all the time. Whether or not I should move in with you is a major decision.”

Jared cupped her chin in his hand. “Are you saying that you’re considering moving in with me?”

“Yes, I’m considering it. But if I do decide to live with you, it will be only until Angela is born.” Or it can be for the rest of our lives, if you learn to love me.

“Ah, honey, you’ve made me a happy man.”

“I haven’t decided yet. I think this is something we both need to take time apart to consider. In a few more months, I’m going to be big and fat and…and we may not be able to have sex. Be sure this is what you really want.”

He kissed her, hard and fast, then smiled. Paige’s stomach did an evil flip-flop.

“I don’t care how big and fat you get,” he said, then patted her stomach. “You’ll be getting larger as my baby grows inside you. And even if we can’t have sex later in your pregnancy, there are other ways to make love.”

Don’t blush, dammit, she told herself. Don’t blush! “I need a few days to think about it.”

“Take a week, if you need to, as long as you decide to live with me.”

Jared toppled them both over into the bed, and within moments they were lost to the passion that neither could control. They were still in bed when Kay arrived. Jared dressed hurriedly and went downstairs to answer the door, while Paige freshened up and put on her clothes.

* * *

The house was empty without Paige, and Jared was lonely. Although he’d been alone most of his life, he didn’t think he’d ever been really lonely before. Except, maybe, for a while after Grandpa Monty had died. He had missed that old man for a long time. Hell, sometimes he still missed him.

Even though his parents had given Jared everything money could buy, they’d never spent much time with him. As a child, he’d been cared for by a succession of nannies and servants, people paid to see to his needs. As an adult, he’d changed very little about his lifestyle, depending on employees to keep his business and his ranch running smoothly. Even though he made friends easily, he never knew what they liked better, his money or him. And always in the past, he had chosen women with whom he could have unemotional, uninvolved relationships that he could end effortlessly.

But Paige was different from any woman he’d ever known. And the way he felt about her was different. Stronger. More intense. He’d never really needed anyone before—he’d made sure of that. But Paige had hit him like a ton of bricks. A chance encounter in an elevator had turned his life upside down. After making love to Paige, nothing else would ever be the same.

As much as he wanted her, Jared hated his weakness. Paige made him vulnerable. She had taken his sane, orderly, well-planned life and thrown him into utter chaos.

Here he was rich, powerful, not bad-looking and reasonably young. With the snap of his fingers, he could have a hundred women at his beck and call. But he didn’t want those hundred women—he just wanted one. One feisty, stubborn, romantic redhead, who had him spinning his wheels while he waited for her to make a decision.

Using a cane for support, Jared paced back and forth in his den. How long was it going to take Paige to come to her senses, to realize that there was no logical reason for them not to live together, for them not to marry?

She had moved back to her apartment three days ago, and even though he’d seen her every day at the office, it wasn’t enough. He wanted her in his home, in his bed, in his arms, every morning and every night.

Resting one foot on the hearth, Jared tossed today’s issue of the Grand Springs Herald into the fire, then lifted the brass poker and stoked the burning logs. Paige should be here with him now. They could be discussing the Rocky Springs Ranch development or the Florida beachfront condos that Montgomery’s was building. They could be talking about Lamaze classes or deciding on a middle name for Angela. They could be making love on the rug in front of the fireplace.

Jared viciously jabbed at the logs, then threw the poker down on the hearth. Three days. Three damn days! That’s all it had been since he’d made love to Paige, and here he was half out of his mind. Wanting her. Needing her. Missing her.

When the phone rang, Jared glared at it. He had no intention of breaking his neck to answer it. For the past three evenings, every time the phone rang, he’d been certain it was Paige. And every time, he’d been wrong.

Moving at a snail’s pace, he walked across the room. The phone continued ringing. He lifted the receiver.

“Hello.”

“Jared, this is Austen Summers.”

“Austen?” Paige’s brother? “Is Paige all right? Has something happened to her?”

“Paige is okay.” Austen took a deep breath. “We—that is, the family, Mama, Paige and I, are at Vanderbilt Memorial. We think Dad’s had a heart attack.”

“Good God!”

“I thought you’d want to know. Paige is pretty upset. You know how nuts she is about—” Austen paused. “We—that is, Mama thinks Paige needs you.”

“I’ll leave immediately,” Jared said.

“We’re still in ER.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

* * *

Paige couldn’t remember ever being this scared. Her big, strong, invincible father had doubled over with severe pain shooting down his left arm and pressing against his chest. Heart attack, the medics had thought, but Dr. Howell had corrected that diagnosis.

“From the evidence, I don’t think he’s had a heart attack,” Noah Howell told them. “We’re going to run some tests to make sure, but my guess is that Mr. Summers has a blocked artery.”

“What does that mean?” Dora asked. “Can you operate and fix the problem?”

“If it is a blocked artery, I’ll send him to St. Joseph’s in Denver for a procedure called balloon angioplasty, which will surgically repair the blood vessel.”

Paige sat alone on a vinyl sofa in the ER waiting room. Austen leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest and his vision focused on the floor. The staff had allowed their mother a quick visit with their father.

“It’s all right if you want to cry,” Austen said. “I’d cry myself if I could.”

“We need to be strong for Mama,” Paige told him. “She’s the glue that holds this family together, but without Daddy, she’d be lost.”

“He’s not going to die!” Austen slammed his fist into the side of the sofa.

Paige jumped. “No, of course he’s not going to die.” She needed to convince herself as much as her brother that their father was going to live. The very thought of losing him was more than she could bear.

It would be so easy for her to fall apart, to dissolve into a puddle of tears, but that was the last thing her mother needed right now.