Debra Webb - Striking Distance

Ancient would be the best description.

Age had never really bothered her until now. She looked down at the bare ring finger of her left hand, and for a moment her chest tightened with anxiety. She’d made a new commitment today. One that in no way lessened the old one, but rather, forged a new path for her to move forward. Looking back was definitely not good for her peace of mind. James was gone. It was well past time to move on. Lucas was alive and ready to move into the future with her.

She peered at the weary face in the mirror. But was she really ready for that journey? Her right hand moved to her chest, settling over her heart. On a conscious, cognitive level she felt ready. It was her heart that hesitated, that worried about starting over.

Victoria stood and moved away from the vanity table. She paused in front of the full-length mirror mounted on the wall near her walk-in closet. She was almost fifty. What did Lucas see when he looked at her?

Tugging the silk belt free she shrugged out of the robe, allowing it to puddle around her feet. She studied her nude body then. Her skin was still slightly flushed from her long, hot soak in the tub. Her dark hair, even with the silver streaks, contrasted sharply against her pale flesh. She’d never really noticed that before. Would the contrast please Lucas? Or did it only make her look pale and haggard?

Pushing that worrisome detail aside, she moved on to other features. Her breasts were still reasonably firm and high, not that they’d ever been that large, but they were presentable, she supposed. Her husband had never complained, but then, that had been a very long time ago.

Her waist narrowed nicely and her hips flared just enough, though she couldn’t quite claim a flat tummy. Time and gravity had taken its toll there as well as behind, she noted as she turned slightly. Her legs were fairly toned, mostly from the treadmill she used every morning.

She wondered what kind of women Lucas had been involved with in the past. Though he’d never been married she felt certain there had been numerous lovers; after all, he was a very handsome man with endless charm. A smile relaxed across her lips and affection twinkled in her brown eyes. Did her eyes glitter that way when she smiled at Lucas? She sighed, anxiety gnawing at her insides. Just something else to wonder about. She would know soon enough.

Locating panties and a nightgown, she dressed for bed, then turned off the lights except the one on her bedside table and crawled beneath the covers. She didn’t have to bother with turning off the music, it was on a timer. An hour from now it would end on a graceful note and, if she were lucky, she would be fast asleep. The day had been long and tiring. Going to the cemetery always affected her that way. She thought of the way she’d buried her wedding band and took a moment to search her heart now for regret or guilt but found none. She stared up at the ceiling and wondered at the lack of the emotions she’d fully expected to experience. Fifteen years was certainly long enough to grieve. She needed to move on. Living in the past had taken a heavy toll on her in the past few months.

It wasn’t really moving into a relationship with Lucas that weighed so heavily upon her, she felt reasonably sure. James would want her to be happy, there was no question there. It was her son.

He’d been gone for eighteen years. His twenty-fifth birthday would have been last month.

Her heart felt like a load of bricks in her chest as she sat upright and struggled for breath. Tears burned her eyes even now, after all those years. If only she could have had closure. The not knowing was the worst. She could only imagine the horrors her child had suffered before his death. Oh, she’d tried to pretend that some kind family had found and raised him. A couple who had been desperate because they couldn’t have a child of their own. But that wasn’t likely. She didn’t need an FBI profiler to tell her the score. She was all too well aware of what happened to most children who vanished into thin air.

She closed her eyes and forced away the thought of Leberman. Both she and James had been certain he had had something to do with Jimmy’s disappearance, but they’d never been able to find any proof. And as the years had dragged on that possibility had diminished. Leberman wanted to hurt them. If he’d been the one to take their child, wouldn’t he have used him to wield the ultimate pain? Another part of her was utterly convinced that Leberman was indeed the culprit. But she would never be certain.

They’d searched the lake for weeks. James had hired special diving teams even after the authorities had given up. He and Lucas had worked personally with those men. If he’d somehow ended up in the water, surely they would have found something...anything. But there was always the possibility that he was out there...beneath the glassy surface of that lake near the house she’d once called home. She shuddered at the thought.

She hadn’t been able to stay in that house after James had died. It was a splendid home. They’d planned its design together, had enjoyed every moment of the work involved in bringing it to life. The place was beautiful still...but she couldn’t go back there. Too many memories. Yet she hadn’t been able to part with the property, either. Too much of James was there, and then one of the FBI agents working her son’s case had told her that sometimes when stolen children grew older, assuming they survived, they found their way back home...to the last home they’d known with their families. So she’d kept the house. The agency used it as a safe house or for the occasional VIP since it wasn’t that far outside the city. But she never went there...never.

She didn’t like thinking about it. The memories were too painful.

Victoria threw the covers back and climbed from the bed that had felt like heaven on earth a few minutes ago but now closed in on her like a prison. She padded to the kitchen and peered into the refrigerator to see what looked good. She wasn’t really hungry, but she’d do anything to take her mind off the past. Lucas crossed her mind briefly, but she dismissed the idea. Too late for coffee and conversation...too soon for anything else. Food would have to suffice. Carrots, salad fixings. She made a face. Not in the mood. Yogurt. Not tonight.

Ice cream. Now that was more like it.

She pulled the freezer door open and reached inside, spotting her favorite flavor right off the bat. Her hand stalled halfway to its destination. A box of chocolate ice cream sat next to her vanilla. The bright yellow smiley faces drawing and holding her attention.

Why would there be chocolate?

She never ate chocolate. It gave her hives.

She frowned, but then remembered that her housekeeper sometimes brought along snacks on cleaning day...but she was on a diet. The carrots and celery in the vegetable bin were hers.

Victoria picked up the full quart of forbidden indulgence and studied it. The cold from the open freezer door, from the package, leeched through her skin, settling deep inside her. She shivered...tried to think why this carton’s presence should disturb her. She hadn’t seen those smiley faces for years....

Jimmy had loved chocolate anything...ice cream...milk. Especially the kind that came in this carton.

Just as Beethoven’s sonata reached a crescendo the box slipped from her limp fingers.

She backed away from the refrigerator.

Her head moving from side to side, she told herself it couldn’t have anything to do with him.

She should call Freda and see if she had brought it...if she’d gone off her diet—

The security alarm wailed, jerking Victoria from the unsettling thoughts.

Confusion pulled her in different directions before she gathered her wits. She should turn the music off. Pick up the box of ice cream that lay on the floor. Needed her robe...