Rebecca Pugh - Return To Bluebell Hill

They took the steps that led up to the porch. Jessica looked up to the top of the house and blinked. It was huge. She felt miniscule standing directly in front of it. She eyed the stained-glass window that was set charmingly within the dark wood of the front door. It was an image of the hill full of bluebells. The greens and the blues vivid and striking. She continued to stare at it, becoming lost in the beautiful creation.

‘Jessica?’ Esme whispered, nudging her slightly. ‘Dear, is everything—’

‘I’m fine,’ she choked out quickly. She took the key from Esme’s outstretched fingers and winced as the cold brass of it touched her skin. She turned back towards the door, slipped the key into the lock and, with a click, the door unlocked and she was able to push it open and step inside Bluebell House.

‘Gosh, this takes me back a bit,’ Esme murmured as she followed Jessica into the pristine hall.

The polished, cherry hardwood flooring shone, with not a scuff or a single mark to be seen. The hall stretched right the way to the back of the house. It was all very grand and shiny, so much so that you’d think no one had ever lived there.

Esme lingered beside the staircase, allowing Jessica space and time to glance around herself and to take it all in. It felt so strange to be back there after so much time had passed. Even stranger to know that it was now in her care. This huge, ridiculously expensive house was her responsibility. She gulped. What on earth was she supposed to do with it?

‘Right. Shall we take a look around and get an idea of what we’re dealing with?’ Her voice was business-like, brisk and straight to the point. Although it sounded alien to her own ears and probably to Esme’s too, she preferred it that way, rather than drenched with the emotion that she was feeling inside. She wouldn’t be bowled over by the memories that Bluebell House was infused with. She wouldn’t let them take her down. She was bigger now, stronger, and she had a job to do.

‘Let’s go.’ Esme nodded her head towards the lounge and they disappeared beneath the wide wooden archway into the first room on their to-do list.

***

After walking the entirety of Bluebell House, scanning each of the rooms with intense scrutiny, the two women decided that it was time for a break. Jessica made them both a coffee and they carried the steaming cups out onto the back porch. They took a seat and sipped quietly. It was so peaceful. There was no noisy traffic, no throngs of people rushing down the pavements while on their lunch breaks or to get to work. Jessica breathed in the fresh air, the scent of a late spring day surrounding her.

‘It’s going to be a lot of work,’ she said eventually to Esme. She looked down into her coffee cup and felt her stomach roll at the sheer amount of effort that she now knew lay ahead.

‘It is,’ Esme agreed, ‘but you can’t let the idea of something being hard work put you off.’ Esme shrugged as if it were simple. ‘Besides, you have me to help you, and young Rueben over there.’ She nodded towards the far end of the garden.

Jessica followed the direction of Esme’s nod with surprise and, sure enough, there was Rueben, stepping out of a medium-sized, wooden shed, his conker-brown hair messy. He looked delicious, even more so when she realised he was topless, bare chest on show for all to see. It was obviously very physical work, whatever it was that he had been up to in the shed.

‘Afternoon, ladies!’ he called, using the t-shirt that was draped over his shoulder to swipe at the sweat glistening on his forehead. Rueben began to make his way towards them. Ripped jeans hung low on his hips. His torso looked slick and toned, the sun dappling his muscles magnificently.

Jessica couldn’t deny that the sight of him lifted her heart somewhat. She also couldn’t deny that seeing him topless had kicked her heart rate up a notch. As he continued to make progress across the grass towards them, she couldn’t stop herself from eyeing his body with keen interest. She noted the way his jeans clung to his thighs, the way his arms looked so capable and strong. Rueben’s eyes caught hers and he held eye contact until he flopped down into the only remaining garden chair opposite her.

‘Rueben,’ Esme sang cheerfully, ‘how lovely to see you. Have you been working on the garden today?’ She leant forward to receive a kiss on the cheek.

‘I have. I’ve been here since just gone seven this morning.’ He stretched his arms above his head and Jessica sneaked a peek at his chest, gloriously defined and damp. God, he looked divine. She felt her cheeks reddening slightly so hid her face behind the coffee cup, attempting to take a sip only to find that it was empty. She closed her eyes and forced herself to get a grip.

‘What about you two? What brings you up here?’ His dazzling green eyes turned to Jessica. He linked his hands and placed them behind his head, leaning back in the chair. His long body stretched out and he accidentally touched her shoe with his own. Jessica moved her foot away and cleared her throat.

‘We’ve been having a look around Bluebell House,’ Esme informed him as she took a sip of her drink, oblivious to the game of footsy beneath the table ‘Seeing what’s what. You know.’

He nodded, his eyes slipping back to Jessica. ‘And what do you think?’

She’d been in a strange trance ever since he’d sat down and was finding it hard to form a reply to his question. She watched him lick his lips as he stared at her. Those lips… ‘Jess?’ he prompted.

‘Oh. Oh right, sorry. I think this heat’s getting to me.’ She flapped at her face, like that would do any good. She’d bet that any woman would do the same with a man like him sat opposite, though. She couldn’t be the only one. ‘It’s like it hasn’t changed a bit since I’ve been gone,’ she said. ‘Everything still looks exactly the same. It’s actually quite scary when I think about it. It’s as if time stopped while I was away, as ridiculous as that sounds.’

Esme nodded. ‘Are you any closer to making a decision, Jessica? About what you want to do with the house? Now that you’ve seen it, what do you think?’

Rueben watched her closely. Esme cocked her head to the side as she waited, too. Jessica swallowed, feeling the pressure as she was watched by them both.

She couldn’t imagine herself living permanently in Bluebell House or in Bluebell Hill itself. She’d miss her job too much. She’d miss Sarah, too. She’d built up her life in London and was utterly in love with it, every single aspect of it. She couldn’t just drop all of that because of Bluebell House, no matter how pretty and charming it was. She’d been desperate to escape when she’d been eighteen and wasn’t ashamed to admit that she had loved every second of being away from Bluebell Hill and the house where she’d grown up. Why on earth would she give it all up just to return ten years down the line? It was peaceful and Bluebell Hill was a gorgeous place to live, she couldn’t deny that. It just wasn’t for her. Bluebell House held too many bad memories, memories of her former self; a desperate, angry, bitter person. The rooms held so much more for her than their furniture. There were feelings, emotions, things she couldn’t forget, that hung in the darkest corners of the house like ghosts. No. London was where she was supposed to be. London was where her life was now. London was her home. Not Bluebell House or Bluebell Hill. She hadn’t worked hard to build herself a new life for it only to come tumbling down. There was no way she would do that, not even if someone paid her. She’d only stepped back inside that very day, taken a look around the empty, joyless rooms, and that was all that she’d needed to make her decision. As soon as she’d opened the front door and stepped over the threshold, every memory, every feeling from her past had come flooding back. Her mind had been made up before she’d even realised it. Her decision was that she didn’t want Bluebell House, nor any of the shadows that lay within it. She wanted to be rid of it. She wanted it to be somebody else’s responsibility. She wanted the sheer weight of it completely off her shoulders. Bluebell House had never been her home. She’d known it all along. Yes, she’d spent the formative years of her life there but even then, she’d felt detached, like a stranger in her own home, which was exactly how she felt now almost ten years down the line. Some things would never change.