No matter how much he would like to go back to the way things had been between them in the past, it would never be the same again. He’d not only crossed the line with her, he had taken something that she could give to only one man.
He closed his eyes as he fought the need building inside him once again. He wanted her, and just the thought that he had been the first man to touch her like this sent heat streaking throughout his body with lightning speed.
It hadn’t even crossed his mind that she might still be a virgin. Hell, Mariah was twenty-five years old and he knew for certain that over the years she’d dated several men. So why him? Why had he been the one she chose to be the first man she made love with?
Unable to think clearly with Mariah in his arms, Jaron contented himself with simply holding her while she slept until sometime around dawn, when he reluctantly eased away from her and got out of bed to pick up their clothes. Folding hers, he placed them on the bench at the end of the bed, then took a quick shower and got dressed.
As he started to leave the room, he turned to gaze at the beautiful woman sleeping peacefully in his bed. How had he let things get so out of hand with her? Why had he ignored that voice of reason in his head, telling him to walk away before he did something he was sure to regret? And how was he going to be with her at family gatherings without losing his mind from wanting her and not allowing himself to touch her?
Guilt and regret so strong it threatened to choke him settled in his gut and, shaking his head, Jaron headed downstairs for a stiff drink. He needed to shore up his resolve and do what he knew was right and would be the best for Mariah. As soon as his men repaired her car, he was going to send her on her way and hope like hell one day he could forget the most incredible night of his entire life.
* * *
When Mariah awoke the following morning to sunlight peeping through a part in the drapes, two things were immediately apparent—she was in Jaron’s bed and he wasn’t with her. She was a little disappointed, but not really surprised. Bria had told her that ranchers usually started their days before dawn and sometimes worked until well past sundown. Now that Jaron owned the Wild Maverick Ranch, it stood to reason that he would keep those hours, as well.
Lying there surrounded by his clean masculine scent on the black satin sheets, Mariah’s heart skipped a beat as she thought about the shift in the direction of their relationship. After all these years, Jaron had finally recognized she was no longer an eighteen-year-old girl with stars in her eyes. He had finally seen her as the woman she had become, albeit almost grudgingly. But she was certain that even he would have to admit that what they had shared was beautiful.
As she thought about his hesitancy, she frowned. Why had Jaron kissed her, made love to her, if he had been so reluctant? She might not be as experienced as a lot of women her age, but she knew beyond a shadow of doubt that it wasn’t because he hadn’t desired her. In fact, it had been as if needing her was the last thing he wanted. But he hadn’t been able to stop himself.
Confused by his reaction, she got up and collected her clothes from the bench at the end of the bed, then she went into the master bathroom for a shower. They needed to talk, and his usual brooding silence wasn’t going to cut it this time. She wanted answers and she wasn’t going anywhere until she got them. What they had shared last night had been too meaningful to be dismissed. Nor was she going to allow him to ignore their lovemaking as if it never happened the way he’d ignored their first kiss.
Twenty minutes later as Mariah pulled on the clothes she’d worn the night before, she made the bed, then opted to carry her shoes instead of trying to navigate the circular staircase in four-inch heels. As much as she liked the boost the shoes added to her five-foot-five-inch height, she wasn’t willing to take the chance of breaking her neck before she confronted Jaron and got the answers she wanted.
Picking up her jacket and purse, she left the master suite to go downstairs in search of Jaron. She was a bit surprised to find him seated at the table in the breakfast nook, drinking a cup of coffee. She had fully expected him to be somewhere outside with his ranch hands, doing whatever ranchers did.
“Good morning,” she said, walking over to set her things on one of the chairs.
He gave her a silent, stoic nod as he got up to take a mug from the cabinet above the coffeemaker. “You like cream in your coffee, don’t you?”
“I’m surprised you know that,” she said, pulling a chair from the table to sit down.
“I’ve watched you drink coffee with dessert at our family dinners for years. You and Lane’s wife, Taylor, are the only ones who don’t drink it black.” He shrugged one broad shoulder as he reached into the refrigerator to take out a dairy carton. “Will milk be okay? It’s the closest thing I have to cream.”
“That’s fine.” She’d known he watched her whenever they were together, but she hadn’t taken into consideration that he might have actually paid attention to mundane things like how she took her coffee.
“Would you like something to eat?” he asked as he set the cup in front of her. “I can make you some toast, but that’s about it. I haven’t hired a housekeeper and I’m not much of a cook.”
“No, thank you. I don’t usually eat breakfast.” She stared at him as he sat back down at the table. There was no easy way to bring up what he was trying to sidestep. And knowing him the way she did, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he would try to avoid discussing the shift in their relationship if he could. “We need to talk about last night,” she finally stated.
He eyed her warily for a moment before he asked, “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” she said, frowning. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Until last night, you had never made love.” His dark blue gaze caught and held hers for several seconds before he added, “I know I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
“That’s it?” she asked incredulously. “You gave me the most incredible experience of my life and all you can say is you’re sorry?”
“What do you want me to say, Mariah?” His even tone and calm demeanor infuriated her.
So angry she found it impossible to sit still, Mariah rose from the chair to pace the length of the kitchen. “How about admitting that our lovemaking meant as much to you as it did to me?” She stopped to glare at him. “And don’t you dare give me the excuse of being too old for me, because we both know it would be a total lie.”
A fleeting shadow in his dark blue eyes was the only indication that he wasn’t as removed from the situation as he would like her to believe. “Last night shouldn’t have happened,” he said, his stubborn calm irritating her as little else could. “I took something from you that I had no right to take, Mariah.”
“My virginity.” When he nodded, she shook her head. “You didn’t take anything,” she stated flatly. “It was my call to make. I chose to give that to you.”
“Last night was a mistake,” he insisted.
“No, it wasn’t. A mistake is taking it for granted that your roommate isn’t going to move out without telling you and leave you owing the entire month’s rent. Or believing that you have job security and then suddenly finding yourself out of work,” she shot back. “And we won’t even go into how big a mistake it is to believe that your car is reliable when it’s ten years old and makes more odd noises than you can count.” Mariah shook her head. “Last night was the only good thing that happened to me yesterday, and I’m not going to let you dismiss it as if it meant nothing.”
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