Linda Warren - A Baby by Christmas

“Hello,” he said into the receiver.

“Mr. McCain, this is Ms. Woods.”

Jake immediately sat down. He had to, because he knew what the call meant.

“Yes.”

“I have the DNA results.”

“Yes,” he said again, and tried to swallow, but his throat seemed to be locked.

“You’re the father. The test is 99.9 per cent reliable. You can’t be any more positive than that. You’re definitely the father.”

You’re the father. You’re the father. You’re the father.

The room and Ms. Woods’s voice faded away, and he was alone with those words holding him in a mindless void of pleasure and pain. He was the father. He had a son. He now knew the truth, and the truth was a bitter sweetness that permeated his whole body.

“Mr. McCain? Mr. McCain?”

Jake finally heard Ms. Woods calling his name. “Yes,” he said.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure, but I will take responsibility for my son.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. We offer counseling for you and your wife…to help make this transition.”

“Right now I just want to see my son.”

“First, I’d like to meet with you and discuss Ben.”

“Why? What’s to discuss?”

“Ben’s just lost his grandmother. He’s very confused and we have to take things slowly.”

“Yes, yes, I understand.”

There was a pause, then Ms. Woods asked, “How does Mrs. McCain feel about this? She was pretty upset the other day.”

“Does it matter?” he countered, not wanting to discuss Elise with her.

“Yes, it matters a great deal. At the hearing a judge will look favorably upon a couple having custody of Ben.”

“Hearing? What hearing?”

“Ben is a ward of the court, Mr. McCain. Sherry’s rights as a parent were severed long ago and Mrs. Carr had full custody. A judge will now review Ben’s case before awarding custody to anyone else. The court will do what’s in Ben’s best interests.”

“I’m his father. Doesn’t that mean anything?” It was the first time he’d said the words and they felt good. He had a son. Ben was his.

“Yes, that will weigh in your favor, but as I said, a judge will make the final decision.”

“Are you saying I might not get my son?” He suddenly felt nauseous.

“I’m saying that with your wife beside you, it shouldn’t be a problem. But from this conversation, I’m guessing she’s not supporting you in this.”

Jake couldn’t lie to her. “She’s having a hard time accepting the news.”

“I see” came the reply. “I’ll be in Waco at nine in the morning to discuss this. The address is on the card I gave you. We’ll talk about Ben and everything else. Maybe by the time the hearing comes around, your wife will feel differently.”

“Maybe,” he mumbled, but he felt she wouldn’t.

As he hung up, he didn’t think about Elise or Ben. He thought about Ms. Woods and their conversation. There was a note in her voice that bothered him. A hesitation—as if she was keeping something from him. But what?

LATER THAT EVENING JAKE DROVE to Elise’s house. He let himself in and saw her working at her computer in the study. When she saw him, she came into the living room, wearing black slacks and a cream knit top, her expression vulnerable. He wished he wasn’t about to shatter her world. He searched for words to tell her, but she took it out of his hands.

“You have the results, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he said quietly as his insides coiled tight.

She bit her lip. “Well?”

His eyes met hers. “I’m the father.”

“No, no!” She shook her head, not wanting to believe it, then saw that look on his face. “Oh, God.” She sank onto the sofa and linked her fingers together. “You’re the father.”

“Yes.”

“This changes everything.”

“Yes,” he said again.

Silence. Loud, heartbreaking silence.

He squeezed a question from his locked throat. “Can you raise another woman’s child?”

She raised her head. “I…ah…I’m not sure.” She needed to tell him now what she’d done. Maybe he would understand. Maybe…

“I want my own baby” came out instead.

“I’m aware of that, but I can’t walk away from my son. My mother did that to me and I will not do that to my child.”

They stared at each other, and the pain in her eyes tightened his stomach even more. “I’m sorry, Elise. I didn’t plan this. I would never intentionally hurt you.”

Tears rolled down her face. “But you have, can’t you see that? You’ve ruined our lives.”

Something in him snapped. She wasn’t even trying to see this from his point of view. She had only one thought in her head—herself and a baby.

“Yes, I’ve ruined your life, Elise, and I’d find all these tears and emotions easier to understand if you cared one iota for me. But I’m just a sperm donor to you. You’ve never considered my feelings or much of anything else where I’m concerned.”

She blanched. “What are you talking about?”

“Derek’s picture. How do you think it makes me feel to make love to you with his picture on your nightstand?”

“You never said anything.”

“My God.” He shoved both hands through his hair.

“Why should I have to say anything? You should’ve had enough consideration for my feelings to remove it.”

“You know how I loved him.”

“Oh, yeah, and I’m tired of hearing that, too. He’s dead and it’s time you accepted it.”

“Now you’re being cruel.” She buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

Jake inhaled sharply, but it didn’t keep the grief and anger from coming out. “And I don’t like living in your house. I’m afraid of getting something dirty or breaking a priceless heirloom. I’m a farmer and I have a house and that’s where I should be.” She looked up at him with her bottom lip trembling but still he didn’t stop. “You’ve never showed the slightest interest in seeing my home, my farm. That’s because you don’t care about me. The only thing you care about is having a baby.”

She stared at him through watery eyes. “That was our agreement—to have a child and raise it together. We never discussed the other things. I didn’t think they were important to you.”

“They are and you’ve stomped on my feelings long enough.”

“Then I think you’d better go.”

Some of his anger evaporated. He didn’t want it to end like this. He’d wanted to say so many things to Elise and everything had come out wrong and harsh. “I…ah…”

She gritted her teeth and took a deep breath, composing herself. “It’s okay, Jake. I’ll survive.”

No doubt she would, but he hated hurting her. “The social worker is setting up a meeting with Ben.” He didn’t know why he said that. It just seemed to slip out. Maybe he was hoping for a break in her demeanor, something to give him a sign that the marriage wasn’t over.

“I hope you’ll be happy with your little boy.”

Her head was bent and he couldn’t see her eyes, but he knew it took every bit of emotional energy she had for her to say that. It also told him that there was no hope for them. Ms. Woods had said his chances for custody would be better with Elise. Now he’d have to take his chances alone.

“If you want to file for divorce, I’ll sign the papers.”

Her eyes jerked to his. “Is that what you want?”

No, I want us to raise my son together. But he said, “Yes, it’s what I want.”

JAKE HAD TROUBLE SLEEPING. He kept seeing Elise’s face, the hurt in her eyes…a hurt he had put there. Not intentionally, but still, he was the cause of her pain. He sat up and slipped on his jeans, grabbed a T-shirt and shoes and headed for the door. Wags followed. Jake went straight to his workshop, which was off the garage. Wags settled in his spot by the door, watching Jake.