Janice Johnson - All a Man Is

Knowing she should feel rejected, Julia could only be relieved.

After the kids left, she tried to convince herself that she was blissfully happy alone and wouldn’t even notice if Alec didn’t come home right after work. Or came home only to change clothes because he had a date.

Of course, every time she heard a passing vehicle, her head came up. She hadn’t quite memorized the sound of his SUV yet.

She couldn’t miss it when he pulled into the driveway so close by, though, and only a minute later her doorbell rang. Her pulse accelerated even though she’d half expected him.

He had already shed his suit coat and tie. The cuffs of his white shirt were rolled halfway up strong forearms. He looked tired, she saw, but smiled when he saw her. “Hey. You and the kids want to go out for pizza or something?”

“It so happens the kids have already gone out for burgers and a movie.” She paused for effect. “Without me.”

One eyebrow tilted up, giving his face a wicked cast. “A fairy godmother?”

“Andrea.”

He knew about Liana’s new friendship, but still looked surprised. “Did you hog-tie Matt or drug him into compliance?”

She told him the arrangement for separate but equal movies. “He’ll probably sit at a separate booth at McDonald’s or wherever they went, too, but Andrea seemed to understand. I haven’t started dinner yet, but if you’re okay with something simple—”

“I vote we go out,” he said. “Someplace decent.”

“You mean someplace the kids would boycott?”

She loved his smile. “You got it.”

He suggested Chandler’s Brew Pub, owned by the mayor. There was a live band scheduled, but he thought not until later in the evening. Julia quickly changed, had second thoughts over her choice and would have started over if she hadn’t been so aware of Alec waiting.

When he saw her wearing slim-fitting black pants, heels and a shimmery tunic-length sleeveless sweater, his eyes had a glint that raised heat in her cheeks. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen that expression on his face, but she hadn’t decided what to make of it. If he was attracted to her, he obviously didn’t plan to act on it. Maybe he was only being politely appreciative.

“You look about twenty-two,” he told her. “No one would believe you have a kid Matt’s age.”

“That makes you a dirty old man to be giving me the once-over,” she suggested lightly.

He laughed. “It’s been quite a few years since I’ve looked over a girl that age with anything approaching serious intent.”

She felt a small burst of pleasure. Was he implying he had serious intent where she was concerned?

But when he stepped so ostentatiously aside to let her exit ahead of him, ultracareful not to brush against her, the thrill died as if he’d dumped cold water on it. No, of course not. He thought of her as a sister. What else?

Oh, God, she was so pathetic. Foolishly in love with her brother-in-law.

She had to be sure he never knew. For the hundredth time, at least, she reminded herself that of course she should be glad he didn’t feel the same. His indifference reduced any temptation on her part, and yes, that was good.

Alec was steadfast with her and the kids in a way Josh had never been, that was true. But in one essential way, he was too much like his brother. She’d always known that. She’d listened to the two of them talk so many times, voices laconic as they casually exchanged stories of terrifying exploits, but the excitement they felt seeping through.

Yes, but are they really so much alike? asked a voice in her head, one she’d heard more often lately. Alec made a decision Josh never would have, didn’t he?

But he could still regret it. He could still go back.

And while he called himself a desk jockey now, she saw the way his head turned as they walked to his Tahoe, his expression flat. Julia knew he was conscious of everyone and everything within a block radius, down to any shadow of movement passing behind the reflected sunlight on windows.

Once a street and vice cop, always one.

Please don’t let him be too bored.

Yesterday had been the Fourth of July. Since fireworks were shot off the crater rim of Angel Butte, they had been able to put lawn chairs on Alec’s small patio and watch from there. Liana had oohed and aahed while Matt, predictably, appeared bored. The show wasn’t as spectacular as some they’d seen, but they also hadn’t had to fight crowds, spend ages searching for parking and walk miles for a good spot for viewing. To Julia, this felt...magical. All of them together in the dark, in their own yard.

All the neighbors were outside, too. After the fireworks show, people started lighting their own smaller ones. Andrea and Sophie came over. While the girls swooped across the lawn waving sparklers, Matt and Alec set off fireworks Alec had bought, murmuring together and laughing. Watching them, Julia had felt the sting of tears in her eyes from, oh, a complicated mix of gratitude and joy, and sadness, too.

Talking about last night carried her and Alec through the short drive to downtown. The police department had gotten the predictable complaints, there’d been a few minor injuries but no serious ones and he was pleased at how his officers had handled the holiday.

He found street parking less than a block from Chandler’s. On a Friday night like this, the sidewalk was busy. He stepped around her to be sure he was walking on the curbside, and actually went so far as to lay a hand on her back. The warmth of it burned through the thin knit of the sweater. She was kept from feeling flattered, though, by his expression, which was oddly distant as he kept watch around them, much as he had between her front door and his SUV.

Had he always been so...protective? Funny, she didn’t remember ever noticing until recently. If he hadn’t been edgy in L.A., she couldn’t imagine why he’d be so here. Surely she was imagining things.

He held open the door to Chandler’s. They’d barely stepped in when she heard a groan, almost but not quite beneath his breath. She looked at him, surprised.

He bent so his mouth was close to her ear. “Chandler’s here. Thank God, it looks like he’s well into his meal, so neither of us will feel obligated to suggest we make it a foursome.”

The handsome and absurdly young man serving as host greeted Alec as Chief Raynor and ushered him and Julia straight to a table that had just been cleared by a busboy. The route took them close to the booth where a man she recognized from that television news interview sat with a beautiful woman with pixie hair and intriguing earrings that shimmered in the light when she turned her head.

Alec’s hand splayed on Julia’s back again and he steered her over to the booth. “Chandler,” he said with a polite nod. “Cait. I’d like you to meet my sister-in-law, Julia Raynor. Julia, our mayor and my boss, Noah Chandler, and his fiancée, Cait McAllister.”

In a surprisingly gentlemanly gesture, the mayor slid out of the booth and rose to his feet. He took Julia’s hand in his much larger one. “Good to meet you. We’ve all been hearing about you.”

She laughed. “Hmm. I think I’ll refrain from asking what he had to say.”

Noah Chandler was an intriguing man, she realized. She remembered the word tough coming to mind and even thinking he was kind of ugly, but in person...he was really a very sexy man, if big enough to be alarming to her. And the smile on his fiancée’s face was genuine and warm.

“We didn’t know if you’d arrive in time or not,” Cait said, “but Alec has an invitation to our wedding and we hope you’ll come, too.”

Julia returned the smile. “I’d love to come. You should have made the wedding on the Fourth, and you could have had a fireworks send-off.”