Brenda Mott - The Chosen Child

Nikki could only stare at the man, one hand over her mouth. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be real. She bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears, wishing Cody were here instead of on duty some seventy miles away. When the hospital had phoned to say Amanda had been in an accident, she hadn’t even taken time to call the Deer Creek police station. The Colorado State Highway Patrol had responded to the accident, which meant Cody didn’t know. She needed to call him.

“Are you all right, Mrs. Somers?” Doctor Smith’s words barely penetrated the fog shrouding her mind.

She managed a nod. “I just want to see my sister.”

“Well, like I said, it’ll be a little while yet.” He gestured toward the phone on the wall. “That’s an in-house line. A nurse will call you with your sister’s room number once she’s been transferred from recovery. I’ll be dropping in later to talk to her as well.” He looked as if he didn’t know what else to say, as if he’d like to move on to his next duty, his next patient. The smartly dressed woman had risen to her feet as soon as Doctor Smith entered the room, and she now moved forward, questions of her own at the ready. He started to turn toward her.

“Doctor.” Nikki laid her hand on his arm. “Was the baby a girl?” The ultrasound had indicated it was.

His eyes softened with genuine sympathy. “Yes. Again, I’m so very sorry for your sister’s loss.”

Nikki mumbled a thank-you, but for what, she wasn’t sure. She amended the thought, thanking God that Amanda was alive.

An eternity later, the wall phone rang and Nikki hurried to pick it up. She listened as the nurse gave directions to Amanda’s room. Once more, she followed the yellow line to where her sister lay on sterile white sheets, her blond hair spread across the pillow, eyes closed. Fighting back tears, Nikki moved up beside the bed. Amanda’s eyelids fluttered open.

“Amanda.” Nikki reached for her hand.

“Nikki?” The fear in Amanda’s voice devastated her, and it was all she could do to stand. She couldn’t speak to answer the question in Amanda’s eyes. All she could do was shake her head.

Amanda’s wail tore her apart, and Nikki’s emotions whirled in confusion. Relief at knowing Amanda would live mixed with sorrow at seeing her sister in pain. At the same time, the sickening loss in knowing the baby had not made it continued to grip her.

Not Amanda’s baby, as the doctor had assumed. Amanda had been a surrogate mother.

Nikki squeezed her eyes shut and wished she could melt into nothing.

Wished with all her heart that she could slip into a dark, quiet place where there was no pain.

Where her little girl was not dead.

NIKKI STRUGGLED to control her anger as she looked at her husband. “Vengeance won’t bring Anna back.” In the four months since the accident, they’d made little progress in working through their grief, moving past the loss of their baby girl. And Cody’s attitude wasn’t helping.

His dark blue eyes held hers. “Maybe not. But I still intend to find the son of a bitch who killed our daughter.” He rose from his chair and walked out of the room.

Embarrassed, Nikki sighed, leaned back in her chair and faced Regina Jeffries. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Cody needs to work out his feelings in his own way.” She studied Nikki with her expressive eyes. “Obviously, revenge against the hit-and-run driver responsible for your sister’s accident is not your first concern.”

“No, that’s just it.” Nikki shook her head, the heated words she and Cody had exchanged ringing in her mind, giving her a headache.

Why are you so hell-bent on finding the guy, Cody? Let the State Highway Patrol and the sheriff’s office do their jobs.

It’s not that simple, Nikki. I wish you’d try to understand.

“Let’s talk about what you think is more important.” Regina glanced at her watch. “We’ve still got fifteen minutes left.”

Nikki shook her head. “I think I’d better go after Cody.” She stood and gave Regina a small smile. “Thanks. Hopefully we’ll see you next week.”

“I’ll be here.”

Outside the three-story brick building of Colorado Family Counseling Services, Nikki paused. Cody wasn’t in their truck, parked at the curb. He wasn’t anywhere in sight. Where had he gone? Her patience wearing thin, Nikki craned her neck, looking up and down the few blocks that made up Main Street in their little mountain town of Deer Creek. Through the plateglass window of Pearl’s Diner she caught sight of him, sulking over a cup of coffee. Head bent so that his black cowboy hat partially hid his face, he reminded her more of a pouting teenager than a thirty-one-year-old man. Half tempted to get in the pickup and drive away without him, Nikki instead took a deep breath and strode across the street. The bell on the door tinkled as she entered.

Cody didn’t look up when she slid into the booth across from him, and she waited until the waitress left with her order for coffee and a doughnut before she spoke, keeping her voice low. “Care to tell me what that was all about?”

He stared into his coffee. “I’m tired, Nikki. That’s all.”

“Maybe you should try coming to bed at night then, instead of falling asleep in front of the television.” She knew he purposely did that to avoid sleeping with her.

He looked up. “I’m tired of fighting with you.”

“I thought that was the purpose of counseling. To sort things out instead of arguing.” She hated what Anna’s death had done to their already shaky marriage. Their relationship had been tested by the injustice of three miscarriages in two years, and now they’d lost Anna. “How can we do that if you walk out in the middle of our session?”

“Do we have to do this here?” He indicated the room full of patrons enjoying Pearl’s down-home cooking and conversation with friends and neighbors.

“No, we don’t.” Nikki stood. “You know what, Cody? I’m just as tired as you are. I’ll see you at home.”

She turned and nearly collided with the waitress who’d brought the coffee and doughnut she’d ordered. Nikki eyed the huge, chocolate-glazed pastry, anticipating the comfort she knew she’d find in curling up with the treat in a quiet corner of her bedroom. “Can I get that to go, Sherry? Sorry to trouble you.”

“It’s no trouble.” Sherry smiled and darted back around the counter.

Cody was at Nikki’s elbow before she reached the cash register.

“We drove here together,” he reminded her.

“I thought I’d go see Jana.” Nikki’s longtime friend owned the bookstore down the street. “She can give me a ride home on her noon break. It’s my turn to buy her lunch anyway.”

“Fine.” He pressed his mouth into a thin line and slapped money down on the counter to pay for their order. “See you later.” He shot out the door and drove away in the Chevy.

Take-out bag in hand, Nikki headed down the block.

An hour and a half later, Jana drove her home, pulling up the long driveway of the sixty-acre ranch. Not even the welcome sight of the horses grazing in the sun was enough to lift Nikki’s spirits. She climbed from Jana’s car, palms sweating at the thought of picking up where she and Cody had left off. Both the truck and Cody’s squad car were parked in front of the garage, today being his day off.

“You’ll call if you need me?” Jana’s voice drew her from her thoughts.

“Of course.” Nikki lifted her hand in a wave. “Thanks again.”

“You bet.”

Inside, she found Cody in the kitchen. He’d made a sandwich, but had left it half-eaten. She sat at the table near his elbow. “What’s happening to us?”