Helen Lacey - To Have And To Hold - Made for Marriage / To Wed a Rancher / The Mummy Proposal

She shook her head. “No. It’s too big a risk. I didn’t really think a lot about children before I found out I was expecting Ryan. I guess I just took it for granted.” His gaze narrowed and she explained. “The feeling that a little piece of you keeps going on because of your children … It wasn’t until I was told I wouldn’t be a mother again that I realized just how much I really wanted it.” She sighed heavily. “One of life’s base instincts, I suppose.”

Noah set down his mug and grasped her hand. “There are many ways to become a parent, Callie,” he said and suddenly felt like spilling his guts and telling her everything about his disastrous marriage and Margaret’s infidelity.

She shrugged. “I suppose.”

It wasn’t the response he hoped for. “You don’t believe that?”

“I think … I think someone with four children wouldn’t really know what I feel.”

He stood up and walked to the stairs, turning around to face her with his hands on his hips. “And you once accused me of being arrogant,” he said pointedly.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that you didn’t corner the market on lousy relationships.”

“I didn’t say I had.”

“But you imply it,” he said quietly, completely frustrated. “I’m not going to pretend to fully grasp what it must have been like for you to lose your baby … or how it feels knowing you might never have another child. But despite what you might think, I do know a bit about disappointment … and loss.”

Her blue eyes shone. “Because of your wife?”

“Because I married a woman I didn’t love and who didn’t love me,” he replied. “And she spent the next ten years punishing us both for it. But I stuck with it because I’d made a commitment and I felt I owed my children a chance at a normal life with parents who stayed together.” Noah dropped his arms to his sides. “It was a train wreck from the very beginning.”

“But you stayed?”

“I stayed for the kids,” he said honestly. “They needed me.”

She stood up and reached him in a couple of steps. “You were right to stay,” she said. “For Lily’s sake especially. She’s afraid, you know. Afraid you might leave.”

Noah’s chest hurt. “She said that to you?”

“She implied it. I think Lily is frightened things are changing.”

“Change is inevitable, though.”

Callie nodded. “I suppose. I’m not an expert on teenage girls, Noah, but I was one once. And in a way I understand what Lily is feeling. My father was sick for a long time before he died. And even though I knew my mom wasn’t sick and wouldn’t die, too, part of me always feared that she might. So maybe you simply need to talk to Lily and tell her you’re not going anywhere.”

Strange how good it felt to talk to her about Lily. The years of going it alone had been lonely ones. He could easily imagine Callie at his side, every day, every night. “Thank you for caring about Lily.”

“I do care,” she said quietly and looked away.

Noah stepped closer and took hold of her chin, lifting her face up. “But you’re not sure you want to, right?”

“Honestly … being around you makes me more confused than I’ve ever been in my life.” Her hands found his chest. “Would you … would you like to stay for a while?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “But I have to pick the kids up before three.”

“Oh.” Disappointment etched on her face.

“Evie’s got guests arriving at two,” he explained. “And my folks are golfing all day.”

She moved her fingertips. “Another time, then?”

He grasped her shoulders and looked at her. “I want to stay with you.” He pulled her close and her hands were imprisoned between them. “Believe me.” One hand moved over her shoulder and he gently touched the back of her neck and tilted her head fractionally. “I want to make love to you so much I can barely think about anything else.” Especially after what had happened between them down by the river. “I’ll call you later,” he said, kissing her. “And of course I’ll see you tomorrow, for Lily’s lesson.”

“Of course,” she whispered.

He kissed her again and the feel and taste of her was imprinted all over his skin. And Noah knew, without a doubt, that he wanted to love her for the rest of his life.

Only, he had no idea if Callie wanted the same thing.

Callie hitched the trailer to her truck and got Fiona to check the lights. Her friend gave her the thumbs-up.

“Can I please come with you?” Lily asked for the third time.

“Like I said the first time, no.”

Lily scowled. “But I could help. You might need me.”

Rescuing the three neglected horses would be tricky, but it needed to be done. Because Animal Welfare hadn’t been able to trace the horses, Callie and Fiona had found out their location through a mutual friend and horse trainer. They’d planned the rescue for late Wednesday afternoon and would inform the authorities when they had the animals loaded on the trailer. Only Callie hadn’t expected Lily to turn up and insist on helping.

“Definitely not,” she said. “Get your bike and head home.”

“Dad will let me go if I ask him,” Lily said.

Callie looked at her. “No, he won’t.”

She knew how Noah would react. He was a stickler for doing the right thing. And what they were doing was not exactly protocol—even if their intentions were noble. She’d considered telling him about her plans because she didn’t want there to be any secrets between them. But Fiona talked her out of it, insisting the fewer people who knew the better.

“But I want to help,” Lily insisted and then said with a pout, “I thought we were friends.”

“We are,” Callie said, firmer this time. “But your father is—”

“More than a friend,” Lily said bluntly and pouted again. “Yeah, I get that. I’m not a little kid. I know you guys are into each other.”

Callie tried to ignore the heat climbing up her neck. She suspected Lily knew about their kayaking trip. Well, not everything. But Lily was smart, she’d work it out, even if Callie was reluctant to come clean and admit she and Noah were together. “I was about to say that your father wouldn’t want you mixed up in this. And neither do I,” she added.

“I can take care of myself,” Lily said and crossed her thin arms. “And I wish everyone would stop treating me like I’m five years old. I’m thirteen … old enough to … well, old enough to do lots of stuff. And it’s not like I’m about to go and do something stupid. And the way my dad’s been acting lately you’d think I was some sort of glass doll.”

Callie caught Lily’s resentment. “He’s concerned about you.”

“No need,” the teenager replied. “I get that he wants a girlfriend,” she said and flashed her eyes at Callie. “But who says it would work out anyway? I mean, people get together and break up all the time, right? Even married people. Especially married people. In fact, I don’t know why adults bother to get married at all. They should just have kids and break up straight away … that way the kids don’t have to get used to the idea that having parents who are together is normal.”

Once she’d finished her impassioned speech, Lily bit down on her lower lip. Callie’s concerns about Lily’s fragile emotions increased tenfold. For all the girl’s bravado, she wasn’t fooled. Lily was hurting. Lily felt things deeply. And Callie knew the young girl was concerned about her relationship with her father. Noah was all she had, Lily’s rock, the one constant in her life. And Callie had no intention of threatening that foundation.