Trish Wylie - His Girl Next Door - The Army Ranger's Return / New York's Finest Rebel / The Girl from Honeysuckle Farm

Jessica was relieved he wasn’t going to ask if he could come in. She would have been powerless to say no if he’d given her the option.

“Until tomorrow,” she agreed.

“Well, I guess it’s good night then,” he murmured.

Jessica tried not to wriggle. He still had hold of her hand, was turning her palm over so her wrist was facing up.

“’Night,” she whispered.

Ryan smiled at her, a lazy smile that made her heart start thumping wildly all over again.

He brought his lips down slowly to her wrist, pressed a kiss there, then turned her hand back over. The touch of his lips, soft and pillowy, left an emotional indent on her skin.

It was one of the most intimate touches she’d ever experienced.

Ryan walked a few steps backward while she stood there. Immobile. She looked up at him and for a moment, words refused to form in her throat.

Then he took her breath away. “You know, I think you might just be better in real life than you were on paper,” he said and he laughed as he turned, hand raised up over his head in a wave goodbye.

Jessica laughed until tears sprang into her eyes and she didn’t miss the cheeky grin on his face as he winked before driving off. You are, too, she thought. You are so much better in real life than on paper, and I never could have imagined it.

Tonight had been crazy. Amazing.

But scary too.

Because here she was, standing on her porch, watching the taillights of his car disappear down the road, feeling like she had maybe, just maybe, fallen head over heels in love with a man who wasn’t within her reach.

If they’d met under different circumstances, maybe it would have been different. But she’d promised herself time to heal, to not let anyone else in, and here she was wishing things could be different.

And Ryan didn’t want this, either. He might think he did, but he didn’t. Not if he knew the truth about her.

He had told her what had happened with his wife, she knew how much it had hurt him, the demons it had created that he’d never truly been able to shake. And tonight, he’d made it clear he could never cope with cancer again. Had spoken of it like the hideous disease it was.

But cancer was still as much a part of her life right now as her family was. It wasn’t something she could pretend she’d never had or might never have again in the future. She was in the safe zone now, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t come back or haunt her again one day. Unlikely, given the fact she’d had an elective double mastectomy, but it still worried her every day.

She knew what losing someone was like—the disease had taken her sister, too. So she couldn’t blame Ryan for how he felt.

So would it be lying if she didn’t tell him? If she just enjoyed his company while he was here, before he was redeployed? Would that make her a bad person, after what he’d told her tonight?

Jessica wiped tears away as they fell, heavy on her cheeks. This time she wasn’t laughing. This time her tears hurt.

She wasn’t going to say no to fun, but what had happened tonight hadn’t just felt like fun.

It had felt like the start of something great.

Jessica heard shuffling then scratching on the other side of the door. It brought the smile back to her face.

“Hey, Herc.”

She unlocked the door and picked her scruffy little boy up, holding him close to her chest. He licked at her face, tucked tightly against her body.

“Hey, baby. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

Hercules wriggled to get down and danced down the hall, his tiny feet padding on the carpet. He looked up at her, waiting, happy about tucking up in bed beside her.

“At least I’ll always have you, huh?”

His tongue lolled out, as if he was smiling up at her.

She felt tears well at the back of her eyes again, and she didn’t try to stop them. Life could be so unfair sometimes. Just when you thought you’d been through enough, coped with all you could, something else came along to steal the breath from your lungs and the fight from your soul.

Dear Jessica,

It’s funny what you’ve done to me. For all this time I’ve avoided coming home, and now that I want to I don’t know how long it’ll be before I can. If you believe I can make things right with my son, then I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Let’s hope we can sit together and laugh one day, and you can say I told you so.

Hope you’re well and that you’re not sick of writing to me yet. You’ve got no idea how your letters bring a smile to this soldier’s face. I haven’t had a lot to look forward to for a while, and your letters make a world of difference.

Here’s to seeing you soon.

Ryan

“PUSH UP AS hard as you can then hold.”

Ryan felt his mouth twist into a grimace. This was hard. Harder than last time, but then he was making himself work as much as he could physically endure.

The physio pushed down on him, forcing him to exert as much energy, as much power, as possible.

“Okay, and relax,” she instructed.

He let his arm drop. The thud started again, the pain that seemed to shoot through every inch of his skin on that side when he exercised too hard. He’d told her the pain wasn’t bad because he wanted to go as hard as he could.

Maybe that hadn’t been such a great idea.

Ryan wiped away the sweat that had formed on his forehead.

“You did good today.”

He gave the physio what he hoped was an innocent smile. “Why don’t we keep going? Another few reps?”

She shook her head, not fooled this time. “You going to tell me again that it doesn’t hurt?”

Ryan reached for his workout towel and wiped it over his face. She had him there. Perhaps she’d seen through his bravado the entire time. Seen the pain in his face each time he pushed himself too far.

“I just want to get stronger again as fast as I can.”

“And I want you to develop your strength slowly, so you can use your arm properly until you’re an old man,” she said tartly.

Ryan laughed. He couldn’t argue with that.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

He looked up at her. “Shoot.”

“I was just wondering why you boys are always in such a hurry to get back to your unit? I get that you’re all close, but isn’t it nice having an excuse to be home for once?” she asked curiously.

Ryan understood what she was saying. Lots of people seemed to think that way, but they didn’t get what it was like to have such an unbreakable bond with another group of men. To feel that closeness and not want to let your team down. The way he felt about his unit was indescribable. He could probably never find words to explain it.

Maybe if his wife was still alive he’d have finished up in the army already, but now …? Well, now the army was his focus, what kept him going.

“It’s hard to explain,” Ryan said, complying as she flexed his fingers back and stretched his muscles out. “There’s something about not wanting to let your unit down, but it’s also about wanting to do the right thing.”

She smiled, but he didn’t think she understood. Not really.

“It’s not that I want to be redeployed more than being here, but I’m good at it. It’s what I do best.”

He was sure better at that than at being a dad.

“So you still want to get fixed up as soon as possible, right? Get back to wherever it is they want to send you.”

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

She gave him a pat on the back. He could see she didn’t truly get it, but his physio was great at her job. And truth be told, not many civilians could ever understand the bond and camaraderie a good soldier enjoyed with his unit.