Bonnie Winn - Falling for Her Boss

“If you’re thinking of me, remember I was on a very twisted path for a very long time.” Cindy’s green eyes darkened. “I was basically in love with what should have been the worst person possible—my sister’s husband. I can remember that feeling of wondering if I’d ever be part of a couple. Seemed as though the whole world had paired off. Except for me. To me it looked as though I was going to have a lifetime of being alone. Don’t compare yourself, Tessa. Your situation is unique. You are unique. And that’s a good thing. I don’t know why the Lord has given you this challenge. I don’t know why He gave me mine, but I trust it’s for the best. Mine has turned out to be.”

“My faith isn’t in question,” Tessa replied quietly.

“Of course not! But sometimes it’s hard not to question what happens. I did.”

Uncertainty seized her. “You did?”

“Constantly.” Cindy’s eyes were steady. “I couldn’t understand why the Lord wanted me to be alone, to love someone I couldn’t have.”

“You never said...”

“It seemed so wrong. Julia was happy. I loved her. I didn’t want to do anything to change her happiness. But I couldn’t get Flynn out of my heart.”

Tessa nodded, remembering the sweetness of her own romance when she was young. “Karl seemed so different at first. I never dreamed...”

“Which is why you can’t stop dreaming. I don’t think you have to marry to be happy, but I do think the Lord has someone for you.”

“Hiding in plain sight?” Tessa tried to joke.

The determination in Cindy’s gaze didn’t waver. “Just might be.”

Sounding like a thousand little footsteps, the kids returned. Cindy reached down to pick up the shortest child.

“This little sweetheart is Sandy.”

“Hi, Sandy.”

The little girl looked at Tessa steadily. “Who are you?”

Surprised at the child’s grasp on language, Tessa smiled. “Wow. How old are you?”

“Four.”

“We’ve had some challenges, didn’t we, Sandy?” Cindy responded, giving the child a hug.

Challenges that had stunted her growth, no doubt. She looked no more than two at the most. Tessa swallowed, wondering if the little girl had been malnourished. Over the years, Tessa had donated small amounts to the home. It was what Cindy always requested in lieu of birthday and Christmas presents. It hit Tessa why supporting the home was so important. Immediately she felt guilty for her own self-pity. These kids had real problems. Problems that a move or new job could never fix.

“Who are you?” Sandy repeated.

“I’m Tessa.” She smiled, pleased when Sandy smiled back. “A friend of Cindy’s.”

“Me, too,” Sandy replied with utter sincerity.

A youngish woman swept into the room, holding a baby. Tessa guessed the little one was perhaps a year old. “Thanks for coming, Cindy. I’m sorry for the short notice.” She smiled in Tessa’s direction.

Cindy made the introductions. “Don’t worry. We can’t control accidents.”

“My daughter took a tumble,” Donna explained. “My husband’s with her at the ER and it looks as though her arm is broken. And she’s wanting Mommy.”

“Of course,” Tessa murmured. “I’m free today and can help.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Donna exclaimed. “We have a lot of kids today, so all hands are appreciated.”

“Donna’s one of our best volunteers,” Cindy said. “And we couldn’t manage without her. Today she should have had backup.”

Tessa realized that taking the day to spend with her had been a real sacrifice on Cindy’s part. Shopping and tea didn’t rate on the same scale as helping children. “Oh.”

“Normally I could handle it. Just didn’t expect a broken arm.” Donna untied her apron. “I’ll grab my purse and take off, then. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

“I do,” Cindy replied. “We’ll see you on your next volunteer day if that works. Your daughter needs you. Flynn has the kids and they’re fine.”

Tessa watched the exchange and an unexpected seed of determination sprouted. If these women could devote time to help the kids, she could, too.

Chapter Four

Tessa closed the book, finishing what must have been the dozenth one she’d read. In an instant another landed in her lap as a young boy handed her a Berenstain Bears book.

“Another?” she questioned, having already read two tales of the bears’ exploits.

“Uh-huh.” He nodded his head earnestly.

“Time to get to sleep,” Cindy said over her shoulder. “Miss Tessa is spoiling you to pieces.” There was fondness in her voice.

“I think word got out that I read more than one book each,” Tessa admitted.

“I think you’re right.” Cindy laughed, not sounding a bit tired despite the hours she’d spent organizing, cooking, playing, reading, supervising and getting children ready for bed.

Pitching in, Tessa hadn’t felt tired. Usually at the end of the day she was exhausted. The result of depression, she suspected. She’d done enough reading on the subject to recognize the symptoms. But today, tonight, reenergized, she felt she could easily go on for another eight hours. The young boy snuggled down after she read him another story.

The McNabs, the couple who lived at the house and worked full-time for the Children’s Home, had returned from a weekend away. Most of the volunteers worked daytime hours. A few could be counted on for occasional night shifts but the bulk of that time was covered by the paid staff.

Tessa pulled the blanket up over the boy’s arms. So sweet. He had been relentless during dinner, teasing the girls. Now, though, there was something about the peacefulness of a sleepy child... Swallowing, Tessa abruptly stood. Out of nowhere her breath caught, coming with difficulty. Everything was suddenly too much. Too close.

The boy’s hand tugged hers. “Are you coming back tomorrow?”

Tessa tried to sound normal, not as though she felt pinched from the inside out. “I’m not sure.”

Cindy apparently recognized her discomfort. “We can finish up. The McNabs have everything under control.”

“Good.” Tessa nodded. “Yes.”

Cindy took her elbow, guiding her to the stairs. “It’s been a long day.”

Tessa swallowed, hating that the hurt was attacking in waves. She’d conquered it for hours. It had even seemed to go away. But now every poignant moment was an assault.

Blindly, she navigated the stairs. Cindy was close behind, grabbing their purses from the hall tree. She didn’t really remember how, but she was in the car, Cindy driving.

“Would you like to stay over?” Cindy was asking. “Tomorrow we could have a nice breakfast before church.”

Tessa shook her head, knowing instinctively that she needed to be alone.

“Okay, well, I’ll take you home. But if you change your mind I can be over in a tick. It’s no trouble.”

Sanity returned. “You’ve been gone from your family all day. You really don’t have to babysit me.”

Cindy took her gaze from the road for a moment, staring. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just that you don’t have to be alone. We’re here for you.”

“I know. And it’s truly appreciated. But I need to be able to handle an evening alone.”

“I shouldn’t have thrown you into the middle of the kids,” Cindy fretted.

“I volunteered,” Tessa reminded her.

“Yes, but I know it’s a tender subject. I wasn’t thinking.”

Seemed they were each determined to take the blame.

Tessa dug deep and found a tiny smile. “At least we’re not blaming each other.”

Cindy saw the smile and laughed. “I have days when I feel that I’ve jumped in the deep end before I learned to wade in the shallows.” She turned, heading toward Morgan’s home, which was close. “Will you promise me something?”