Debra Clopton - Her Lone Star Cowboy

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Jess swiped his brow with the back of his hand. There were definitely no storm clouds on the horizon today, like there had been two days earlier when he’d pulled Gabi Newberry from the flood waters.

“They look good,” he said, gazing from the new bunch of cattle he’d just bought and unloaded, to his older brother. They’d been working cattle in the heat all day and Luke looked as hot and sweaty as he was.

“Real good,” Luke agreed, a satisfied gleam in his eyes. “With these added to the herd we’re going to look pretty good come next year with calves. The ranch is doing great, Jess. If we get some nice, slow rain soon, we’ll be perfect.”

“Yeah, would be great.” Jess patted his neck with his bandana.

“Now you and Colt just need to find someone to love and be loved by and get married.” Though Luke was grinning, Jess knew how serious he was.

“Never thought I’d see the day, but you surprised us both and bite the bullet,” Jess said and then smiled.

Luke looked at him, totally contented. “Montana makes me happy—I’m more alive than I ever was before meeting her. I want that for you. I never knew how it felt to have someone love me like she does. I know I sound sappy but it’s true, Jess.”

“Sap,” Jess grunted and they both laughed, understanding where they’d once been and how far they’d come. He was glad for Luke. The three brothers’ childhoods had been less than perfect and Luke was Jess’s hero.

Only four years older than Jess when their mother had run off and left them to fend for themselves with their alcoholic father, Luke had taken on a man’s responsibility at the age of fourteen. Jess owed him.

“You held us together all of our lives. Strong doesn’t hold a candle to you, bro, so you can be as sappy as you want to be.”

“Seriously, Jess, it’s good to have Montana in my life. But I want this ranch and these cattle to mean as much to you and Colt as it does to me.”

“We’re in it with you, Luke. But you’ve always worried about us. Been responsible for us. We’re better men because of it. You know that.” No one really understood exactly how Luke had been there for them. No one understood how bad it had been.

“You know I’d do anything for you,” Jess continued. “But when it comes to marriage, I have to go with my own plans. Luke—it’s time for you to think about yourself now. Me and Colt, we’re doing all right.”

Luke had had visions of Jess and Colt with lots of kids. The ranch was to be the backdrop for a picture-perfect life he and his brothers hadn’t known as kids. Problem was, Jess had gone along with his vision for years because he didn’t want to tell Luke he had no desire for family, and wasn’t certain he ever would. Some people weren’t cut out for love and he was one of them.

He had commitment issues—no matter how hard Luke had tried to protect him, it still remained that his dad had been committed to a booze bottle and his mother had been committed to herself. True, he was surrounded by people in Mule Hollow who were committed to long and healthy relationships, but he didn’t have their genes. He had Holden genes. He wished Luke the best. But Jess was better on his own.

He liked it that way.

He enjoyed his freedom and didn’t plan on giving that up any time soon.

Not even for Luke.

“I’m just not sure I’m the commitment kind of guy,” he said, though he knew deep down Luke got it. They both knew their childhoods played a significant role.

“Yes, you are, Jess. The day you find the right woman, you’ll commit for life. No doubt about it. You finish what you start, Jess, you always have. You’re too hardheaded not to and you’ve been that way ever since you were a little kid.”

Jess shot his brother a half grin. “That’s called survival skills.”

Walking along the corral toward their trucks, Luke paused. “Yeah, but don’t you forget that God promises He will make good from bad for those who love Him, and your life proves it. Colt’s, too. I’m proud of both of you and day before yesterday, you made me real proud by helping out Adela’s granddaughter.”

Jess had thought about the feisty Gabi many times since then. He grinned, thinking about how she’d asked him about his relationship with God. He wondered if she asked everyone she met or if she had some kind of radar that zeroed in on trouble. Jess hadn’t told her that he and God weren’t on the best of terms right now. But still, he had thought of her often.

“She was in a bind,” he said, not elaborating. “I’m glad I was there to help or it could have been worse.”

“I’m glad you were there, too. But the thing is, you were there and without thinking about it, you committed yourself to seeing it through to the end. Sam told me yesterday that you went back there, pulled her truck and trailer out and then drove it to her. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Anybody would have done that. It was the right thing to do.”

“Maybe and maybe not. Thing is, you did.” He paused. “I hear she’s single.”

Here we go. “Yeah, I heard the same thing.”

“You interested?”

Jess heard the hope in his brother’s voice. “Maybe. We’ll see. Honestly, she’s the one who didn’t seem too interested.”

Luke pulled open his truck door. “There ya go, buddy. You can change her mind, if you want to. And I can tell you the casual thing is a dead end.”

“Okay, man, back down. Right now I’m committed to a herd of ladies in the south pasture who are waiting on this hay.”

Luke chuckled as he got in his truck and slammed the door. “Well, I’ve got a lady at home waiting on me and she’s a whole lot prettier than any of those hairy gals you’re heading out to see. Talk to you later.” Luke grinned at him through the open window and as he backed up the truck he called, “Think about it, Jess. I’m praying for God to send you a woman.”

Shaking his head, Jess headed out in his own truck to the cattle in the south pasture. He had work to do. While Luke was praying for God to send him a woman, he needed to pray for God to send some rain. Of course, Jess wasn’t praying, he figured prayers didn’t really matter that much. If God felt like answering a prayer, then God answered. Not before.

Jess had stopped asking for anything a long time ago.

Looking across the pasture, he turned up the radio and took in his surroundings. He loved it here on the ranch. Luke had gotten one thing totally right. And that was the fact that Jess liked having a place to call his own. This ranch filled a hole in his heart, eased an ache he’d had for as long as he could remember. Here on this ranch, he was happy and content. He wasn’t sure he’d ever risk that by getting married.

He’d do anything for Luke, but get married…

Couldn’t do it.

Topping the ridge of a low hill, his attention was snagged by a group of buzzards circling in the pale blue sky.

Something was dead. Buzzards were a common sight here in the country, but Jess always checked it out when he was looking after the cattle. Driving toward the next ridge, he scanned the pastureland stretched before him. It was dry, not much grasslands left, thus the hay and feed they were having to put out, but it was still pretty land they’d bought.

The herd of Angus cattle grazed near a pond that was two feet low of water even after the rain they’d had two days before.

Topping the second hill, the pasture came into view.

Jess’s gaze zeroed in on the heifer laying halfway down the hillside. His heart sank. Dead cattle were expensive and a threat to the entire herd.

There was no mistaking this heifer had been dead for some time. Hanging his head for a brief moment, he looked up and scanned the pasture. In the distance he was certain he spotted a second large mound that would be another heifer.