Sarah Morgan - Maybe This Christmas

“It helps us out having you here on-site, and we have empty cabins so it makes sense. Good night, Brenna.”

“Good night.” She watched as the two of them walked toward the main house, their arms looped around each other as they picked their way over the snow. She felt a pang of envy and stood for a moment, her emotions tangled. She was pleased for them. Happy they were happy, but somehow their happiness and what they shared made her conscious of what was missing in her own life.

Feeling tired and cross with herself, she made her way down the snowy path that led from the Outdoor Center to the lakeside trail and Forest Lodge. It was one of the first log cabins Jackson had built when he’d taken over the running of Snow Crystal, and Brenna loved it. All the cabins were beautiful, but Forest was special.

The resort had been in the O’Neil family for four generations, but it wasn’t until Jackson’s father had died that the truth had emerged. The business had been at risk, and it was Jackson who had walked away from a successful ski business in Europe to come home and run the family business, helped by Tyler, whose own career had crashed and burned in spectacular fashion.

She walked along the path, breathing in the smell of pine and the crisp night air. The sounds of the forest calmed her. The snow cover was still thin, but they were all hoping that was about to change.

She was so deep in thought, she almost walked straight into Tyler, who was waiting for her.

In her flat snow boots she barely reached his shoulder. “I thought you were long gone.”

“There is only so much corporate boredom I can take at a time.”

“So why are you still here?”

“You were upset in that meeting. Why do you never speak up?” He reached out and pulled her hat farther down over her ears. “You should have told my brother no when he asked you to coach the high school team.”

He’d always been able to read her, which made his apparent lack of awareness about her feelings for him all the more surprising. Over the years she’d come to the conclusion that the fact he knew her so well was the very reason he hadn’t guessed the truth. They’d been best friends for so long it hadn’t ever occurred to him to question that relationship or see her in any way other than the girl he’d grown up with.

And she preferred it that way.

It was easier for both of them if he didn’t know.

She didn’t want the awkwardness that would inevitably come should such an imbalance in the relationship be revealed.

“I was going to do it, until you volunteered.”

The silence of the forest wrapped itself around them. They stood on the intersection between the path that led to the Outdoor Center and the path that led through the forest to the lake.

“Someone had to do it, and I didn’t want it to be you.” The collar of his jacket brushed against the dark shadow of his jaw, and his eyes glittered impatiently. “You should have said no.”

“This is my job. Jackson asked me to do it.”

“And he shouldn’t have, but when it comes to Snow Crystal, my brother has tunnel vision.”

“I guess that happens when you’re fighting to save a business. You didn’t have to volunteer. I would have done it.”

“But only because doing it was preferable to having a difficult conversation.”

“Excuse me?”

“You do anything to avoid confrontation.”

“That isn’t true.” She looked away, embarrassed and frustrated because she knew it was true. “What did you expect me to do? Tell my boss no?”

“Why not? You hated everything about that school. You couldn’t wait to leave. We both know you don’t want to go back there.”

Her stomach curled into a tight, uncomfortable knot.

There were so many things she wished she’d said and done differently. Things her grown-up self would have told her teenage self as well as her tormenters.

“I wasn’t that interested in studying.”

“We both know that wasn’t why you hated the place.”

She flushed, unsettled that he knew her so well. Her school days had been a miserable time. That whole period of her life would have been miserable had it not been for the O’Neil brothers, Tyler in particular.

“Why are we talking about this? It’s long since over and done with.”

“There you go again—avoidance. When it’s something difficult, you duck. Hide. Who was it? I want to know.”

“Who was what?”

“Who gave you a hard time?”

He’d asked her the same question repeatedly over the years, and she’d never given him an answer. “Why are you bringing that up now? It was a long time ago.”

“Exactly. So you might as well tell me.”

His persistence exasperated her. “It was no one.”

“You fell in the ditch by yourself?” He put his fingers under her chin and tilted her face to him. “Jackson and I had a few suspicions. Was it Mark Webster? Tina Robson? Those two caused most of the trouble in your grade.”

“It wasn’t them.” She tried to ignore the way his hand felt against her skin. “I was clumsy, that’s all.”

“Honey, you skied with me, and most of the time you kept up. There were moments when you were almost better on that hill than I was.”

“Almost? Arrogance isn’t attractive, Tyler.” But she’d seen the gleam in his eyes and knew he was playing with her.

“Neither is evasion.” A smile that was altogether too attractive flickered at the corner of his mouth. “You’re never going to tell me, are you?”

“No. It’s behind me and anyway, I don’t need you protecting me.”

“Cameron Foster?”

“Tyler, stop!”

“If you’d told me who it was, I would have pushed them in the ditch.”

She knew that was the truth. Tyler O’Neil had spent more time in the principal’s office than he had in the classroom. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. You were in enough trouble without me being responsible for more. Look, I appreciate you volunteering to take that class, but you don’t need to. I can do it. We both know you’d hate it. Why would you want to put yourself through that?”

“Because it’s you.”

Her heart pumped a little faster. Hope, that thing she kept ruthlessly suppressed, flickered to life inside her. “What’s that supposed to mean? Why would you do it for me?”

He frowned, as if he thought it was a strange question. “Because I care about you. Because we’ve been friends since you could walk.”

Friends.

She felt a thud of something inside her and recognized it as disappointment.

How could she possibly be disappointed about something that had been her reality forever? She should be grateful for his friendship. It was greedy of her to want more, but still she did want more. She wanted it all. She wanted the whole fantasy.

But that was all it was ever going to be, of course.

A fantasy.

Tyler gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder. “Stop looking so sick. I’m taking that class and that’s final. If it makes you feel better, you can buy me a bottle of whiskey for Christmas to numb the agony.”

“I already bought your Christmas present.”

“You did? What is it?”

“A box set of chick flicks for you to watch with Jess. I thought it would help you bond.”

He groaned. “You had better be joking. But talking of Jess, I need your help. She is desperate to ski.”

Like father, like daughter.

It was bittersweet, because she’d longed for that very thing—the man and the child. Home. Family. Snow Crystal. Officially being an O’Neil. She didn’t know if it was because she was old-fashioned, or because she’d known right from the start that the only man she wanted in her life was Tyler. She hadn’t needed to meet hundreds of other men to know he was the one.