Dana Corbit - On the Doorstep

When he still didn’t say anything, Pilar had had enough. “If you’re not going to ask a question, then I am. What are you doing here, Zach?”

“I was wondering the same thing about you.”

“Well, I’m here to check on Gabriel. You heard me say earlier that I was going to visit the hospital. Well, the doctors discharged him. He was placed with the Frasers, and I just wanted to make sure he’s all right.”

Zach tucked his chin between his index finger and thumb, contemplating her answer. “Sounds reasonable. I already told you I was here to check on the baby, too.”

“Then are we done? Have you asked all your questions?”

He shook his head. “Just one more.”

She waited, bearing his scrutiny for a few seconds longer. Why did it feel as if all the walls she’d built to mask her heart’s secret longings were only transparent screens to him? That though they were nearly strangers, he knew her better than almost anyone.

“Tell me this. What’s the connection between you and that baby?”

“What do you mean, what’s my connection?” Pilar asked, her eyes wide.

She was pressed so hard against the sofa arm that Zach wondered if she planned to escape over the top. He trapped her with his gaze in the way he’d learned to make lesser suspects squirm.

“That’s what I’m asking. You probably place babies all the time. Do you get this attached to all of them? Or is there something different about this baby?”

When she didn’t answer immediately, he continued to stare. Strange, but he hoped for Pilar’s sake that she didn’t have that same intense connection with each child she placed, because he didn’t like the idea of her heart breaking all the time. But then he hadn’t done a good job of keeping his professional distance in this case, either.

He couldn’t say he’d been soft on questioning Pilar. In fact, he was grateful Naomi hadn’t held him under the same level of scrutiny when she’d asked why he’d visited that day. Sure he’d come to see Gabriel, but he was beginning to wonder if the possibility of seeing Pilar again had also played into his decision.

It had certainly been for her benefit that he’d talked up the investigation when he still didn’t know if any of his “solid leads” would pan out. He didn’t know why it mattered so much to him that she thought he was a good detective. He’d never worried before what anyone thought as long as he was doing his best to help people. It was a good policy, and he would do well to stick to it instead of trying to impress anyone.

But this was about more than impressing. It was about curiosity, and everyone knew what that did to the cat. Pilar had become such a puzzle to him, full of challenging, interlocking pieces, when before he’d barely noticed her. Or at least when he had noticed, he’d taken in her flawless beauty and too-perfect background and had kept his distance.

“Gabriel’s different,” she answered finally.

“How is he different?”

Pilar blew out an exasperated breath. “I found him. He’s—”

She cut herself off then, but that only made Zach want to know more. Had she nearly said “mine”? That didn’t make any sense, though it did take finders-keepers to a whole new level. “He’s what?”

“He’s just a sweet little baby who could use all the friends he could get.”

He nodded. That was true enough, but if it was what she’d intended to say, then why hadn’t she looked at him when she’d said it? Her posture was stiff, and her closed body language signaled she wasn’t telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help her God. She was still hiding something.

Twice now he’d witnessed private moments between Pilar and the infant she should have met only that morning—first on the agency steps and now in the Frasers’ family room. There was a connection, all right, but what?

Could Pilar have been a friend of Gabriel’s biological mother and was covering for her? Zach pondered the premise that would have explained why she was reluctant to help with the investigation, but he couldn’t buy it. As a Tiny Blessings employee, she would have encouraged the mother to give the child up for adoption, or at the very least would have discouraged her from breaking the law.

His gut told him Pilar’s reasons were much more personal. That he could relate to. Everyone had a right to a few secrets—those personal parts that no one needed to know and that only reopened old wounds in the retelling. Did Pilar have wounds she needed to protect?

Immediately, he was contrite for the high-pressure interview tactic. Though Gabriel had more to complain about, Pilar had been through a rough day. He’d seen her that morning, had witnessed her shock and even had wrapped his jacket around her. The last thing she needed was some overzealous detective shoving her around for new leads.

“Is this the first time you’ve dealt with a child-abandonment case?” he asked, though he’d already guessed that it was.

She nodded. “I work with people who would give everything they have to have a child of their own. None of them would ever dump a baby, in a fancy basket or not.”

He’d been right: It was personal. How could he, of anyone, criticize someone who took her job and the people it affected personally? That would be like smashing the image of the person he saw in the mirror every morning.

“Do you have a long waiting list of people hoping to adopt?”

Pilar tilted her head to study him, appearing to recognize that his question had no bearing on the case.

“We have more homes than we have children to fill them. Especially for clients who want babies. The waiting list for a newborn is often three years deep.”

Zach couldn’t imagine what that was like, the bureaucracy and the waiting and hoping for a child that most couples assumed would be the natural next step in their relationships. Life had no guarantees; he’d learned that the hard way. Apparently, Pilar’s clients had swallowed their own bitter pills.

When he looked up again, Pilar was studying him.

“Are you finished asking questions?”

“Sure. For now.”

As finished as he could be given that she hadn’t really answered the important one. She’d never explained her connection to the foundling.

She nodded but didn’t look him in the eye. “Well, if there’s nothing else, I need to get going.”

Pushing herself over the arm of the sofa, she stood as if she couldn’t get away from him fast enough. He was used to women’s attention, had even learned to ignore it most of the time, so he wondered why her pariah treatment bothered him so much.

Zach hesitated, which was about as unlike him as letting himself be distracted when he was on a case. He should have been telling her not to let the door slam when she left, but here he was hoping to keep her around a few minutes longer so he could prove he wasn’t a bad guy. How pitiful was that?

Naomi’s louder-than-necessary footsteps on the stairs saved him from a thorough self-lecture. He stood in time to see her reentering the room, carrying a clean and content baby.

“Pilar, you’re not leaving, are you? I thought you were staying so we could go to prayer meeting together.”

“I was, but…” Pilar paused and cleared her throat “…I’ve decided to meet you there.”

Naomi turned to Zach. “You’ll be there, won’t you?”

“Not this time, sweetheart.”

Naomi stuck out her lip. “But even police detectives get time off for Wednesday night prayer meeting.”

“I’ll have plenty of time off when Gabriel’s mother has been located.” He looked at Pilar to let her know that the message was for her. No matter what she was hiding or how badly he felt for her for having made this difficult discovery, he still had a job to do. With or without her help, he was going to solve this case.