Doris English - A Healing Love

She replaced the phone on the bedside table, an affectionate smile brushing her lips. She was a “daddy’s girl,” no doubt about it. Her long fingers gently toweled her hair, as her mind tripped back over the years. Although she loved her parents equally, it was her father’s approval that had motivated her to excellence. In fact, if she faced the truth, it was he who had influenced her career choice. What would she have been were her father just an ordinary man?

A rap on the door interrupted her musings.

Jonah asked from the hall, “You decent, honey? I’ve got some coffee for you.”

“You old sweetheart. I was coming down for it,” she protested, leaning over to kiss him on his weathered cheek once he’d entered.

“Let me pamper you a little. Isn’t that what grandparents are for? Since I’m the only one you have, I get to do it twice as much.” He winked at her even as a shadow of wistfulness touched his eyes.

“You still miss Grandmother, don’t you?”

He nodded. “And I will until I draw my last breath.”

“But it’s been so long.”

“Forty years. I had her for only twenty, but that was long enough to know there’d never be another for me. Some people love like that. God blesses them with such a perfect love that no one else can replace it.”

“You didn’t ever date after she died?”

He chuckled. “Sure. People tried to fix me up all the time. Believe it or not, I was quite a catch in my day.”

“You don’t have to convince me. I think you’re still a catch. But no one could live up to Grandmother?”

“No, it wouldn’t have been fair to someone else. When you’ve had the best, you can’t accept second best. I’d always been comparing and they could have never met my expectations, so I’ve settled for my memories.”

“Good ones?”

“Some wonderful ones, but some regrets, too.”

“Regrets?” Laura asked, puzzled.

“Regrets that I spent too much of my time and energy building a successful urban practice. Time I took away from my Anna. I thought we’d have plenty of time later when I got my work established. It didn’t work out that way.” He turned his piercing blue eyes on Laura and added, “Don’t ever put relationships on hold, Laura. Savor them. You never know the future.”

“Do you think Grandmother had regrets?”

A deep sadness touched Jonah’s eyes before he answered her, then he nodded. “Disappointments, too, probably, but she never voiced them to me.”

“Why?”

Jonah sighed, a sad little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Because she had learned to savor the times that we did have together and refused to let anything tarnish their splendor. That’s why I have so many wonderful memories, kitten.”

“I’m sorry I never knew her.”

“You look an awful lot like your grandmother.”

“I thought I looked like my dad.”

“You do, but you’re a lot more delicate. He resembles her.”

“Her picture is so beautiful, but it’s almost ethereal. I don’t see myself like that.”

“You do have her golden beauty, but you’re right. Yours is not an unearthly quality. You’re spunky like your mother.”

“Spunky? What do you mean by that?” Laura was puzzled as she visualized her small, dark-haired mother with large indigo eyes.

“Sometimes you have a show-me attitude, and you’re always ready to speak your mind.”

“You think mom’s got a show-me attitude?” Laura arched an eyebrow questioningly. Her grandfather’s statement surprised her. He had always loved and admired his daughter-in-law. Was there a veiled criticism in his remark?

“It’s mellowed over the years to one of strong conviction, but when she’s convinced she’s right, there is no stopping her. She speaks her mind in no uncertain terms.”

“That’s for sure,” Laura agreed. “But isn’t that part of being a good writer—being a communicator? That’s why she’s had a successful career, even though she chose to remain here in this rural area. I’ve wondered lately why she stayed here. When I was younger I just took it for granted, but lately…”

“She’s a gifted woman, but one who set her priorities in order.”

“As I think back, she never seemed to struggle with balancing a home and a career,” Laura observed thoughtfully as she held the steaming cup of coffee in both hands, savoring the aroma before she put it to her lips.

“She struggled with that decision before she married your dad. First she came to terms with what the Good Lord wanted her to do with her life. Then the rest fell into place.”

“Easier said than done.” Memories of Darlene’s tempting offer haunted her for a moment.

“I didn’t say it was easy. What’s right is rarely easy. When your mom decided to marry your father and stay here, she thought her career was over. In fact, her publisher fired her, but God just brought more and better opportunities here.” Jonah’s eyes misted as he remembered.

“How so?” Laura’s interest was piqued.

“When your mom sacrificed her goals, her ambitions and her ability for what she knew God wanted from her—marriage, a family and living in this rural mountain valley—He gave them back to her enhanced with new opportunities.”

Laura pressed her grandfather, not quite convinced. “You don’t think she would have been successful in New York? Her talents were the same. There is opportunity there.”

“She would have enjoyed a measure of success because of her extraordinary talent, but God put her here, where there was a rich field of ideas. Not only did she achieve personal achievement and international recognition, but she was able to make a positive impact on other lives. She would never have had the knowledge or opportunity in New York.”

“Do you think God is interested in everyone’s life that much, or was Mom just special?”

“Your mom’s pretty special, but I believe God is interested in all His children’s lives. If He loves us and is our Father, then how could He not be? Do you not think He’s interested in your plans?”

“Um, perhaps. To tell you the truth, I’ve not thought much about it. I’d always planned to be a doctor, and since Dad’s destiny was here, I just assumed that I was to follow in his footsteps. That is, until lately.” Laura dropped her eyes and her voice, fearing she’d revealed more than she had intended, actually more than even she was ready to admit to herself.

Her grandfather looked at her steadily, then smiled slightly, before commenting dryly, “Sometimes distinguishing between God’s will, our will and somebody else’s is difficult. But if you achieve the fulfillment you need, you’ll have to come to terms with why you are working here with us. Are you trying to fulfill someone else’s vision for your life or the destiny God has ordained for you? Only by following God’s destiny can your life accomplish its highest purpose.”

“You don’t think I can attain my goals working with Dad?”

“First you have to define your goals and determine if they’re your God-given goals or your dad’s.”

“Dad never put any pressure on me to come back here,” she defended too quickly.

“He wouldn’t knowingly. But sometimes children subconsciously pattern their lives after their parents’ in an effort to win their approval. This is especially true if they admire them.”

Laura turned from her grandfather before he could see the uncertainty his words had stirred in her. She dropped onto her chaise nestled in the alcove, where the morning sun streamed in, then looked up into her grandfather’s eyes, a resolute smile on her lips that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I think I’m quite comfortable with my situation—helping Dad and Mark at the clinic, seeing Mom every day and living here with you. Really, who could want more?”