Carolyne Aarsen - Her Cowboy Hero

Their eyes held and for a moment, her smile softened and he recognized it for what it was. A small movement toward forgiveness. Then she gave a curt nod and her mouth shifted into the polite smile he knew only too well.

“I think that’s admirable,” she said, her tone impersonal. “I’ll guess we’ll have to see how you do in the end.”

The end. For a brief moment Tanner wondered if there would be an end to his quest. To his desire for some type of reconciliation with the only person he could legitimately call family. His father and stepbrother were gone. He and Alice only had each other. All his life he’d hoped for some kind of relationship with her. While she may not have given birth to him, in truth, she had been the only mother he’d ever know.

But now, as ever, her manner was aloof, reserved and cool.

Time to go.

“So, the bunkhouse?” Tanner asked Monty.

“It’s all fixed up. Do you want me to bring you there? It’s not locked.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll come over with clean sheets for the bed,” Alice said, getting up from her chair.

“Just tell me where they are. I can make a bed.” She was the one who had taught him, after all.

“Of course. I’ll get them for you.”

She left and Tanner caught Ellen watching him, the neck and chest brace supporting her head giving her a vulnerable look. “We’ve missed you, Tanner. I’m glad you’re staying here.” Her voice, sounding so strained created an extra poignancy.

“I’m glad I’m back, too,” he said quietly, though staying on the ranch with Keira so close by was not how he had envisioned his temporary stay.

His mother came back with a stack of sheets and some towels. “I gave you extra. Just in case.”

Tanner gave her a tight nod, then took a step back. “I better get myself set up.”

“And we’ll see you for supper tonight?”

Resistance rose up again but the expectant looks on Monty’s and Ellen’s faces quashed it. Surely he could manage this for these dear people, who had been such a part of his life so long?

“Sure. What time?”

“Come at six.”

He gave them another smile, glanced over at his mother, who stood with her arms crossed, her stolid expression making him wonder if he had imagined that momentary bond.

A few moments later he was walking toward his truck, his breath creating clouds of fog in the chill winter air. He stopped at the truck, dug his keys out of his pocket one-handed and caught a movement from the saddle shop.

Keira stood in the doorway and his heart pounded doubletime in his chest. For a moment his thoughts drifted back to times he would help her in the shop, then go out for a ride in the hills. He watched her a moment, but he could see her eyes weren’t on him. They were on the mountains just beyond the edges of Refuge Ranch.

Her arms were wrapped around her midsection. Then, to his surprise, he saw her hand swipe at her cheeks.

As if she were crying.

* * *

“Excellent meal, Ellen,” Tanner said as he set his knife and fork on his plate and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I haven’t had a good Angus steak for ages.”

“I’m glad you could be here to share it with us,” Monty replied, taking another bite.

“Keira made supper,” Ellen said, taking a careful sip of the smoothie Alice had concocted for her. “She’s learned to cook.”

“That’s a surprise,” Tanner said, glancing over at Keira. “I didn’t think you enjoyed cooking.”

Keira managed a half smile at his attempt to engage her in conversation, then looked back down at the steamed vegetables she’d spent the past ten minutes pushing around her plate. She knew what Tanner was thinking. Ever since she was a young girl she would try to find a way to get out of any kind of kitchen duty. Ellen and Keira’s sister, Heather, were the ones who cooked, baked, made jam and gardened.

Keira had always been more interested in tagging along behind her father, helping him in the shop and helping him and her brother, Lee, work the cows.

“I’ve learned a few other skills lately,” she said, stabbing a piece of cauliflower with her fork.

“I can see that,” Tanner said.

She wanted to look at him but chose to keep her attention on the plate in front of her.

Keira, her parents, Alice and Tanner were gathered around the large table that filled the dining area tucked away in one corner of the large open main floor. The lights around them were turned low, a fire crackled and popped in the stone fireplace. Curtains were drawn across the windows, creating a peaceful and cozy ambience.

But for Keira the meal had been an ordeal. Tanner had ended up sitting across from her, and every time she looked up she caught him watching her, then giving her a faintly mocking smile.

Tanner had always been someone who deflected with sarcasm and could put on a cynical facade with people he didn’t care for.

But he’d never been that way with her. Which was why his half smile and slightly hooded eyes created not only a deep discomfort but also a pain that she felt she had no right to experience.

“It’s been a long time since I enjoyed a meal here,” Tanner said, turning his attention back to Monty and Ellen. “Actually it’s been a long time since I had a home-cooked meal, period.”

“I know how you feel,” Ellen said, setting her smoothie down. “I’ll be so happy to be off this liquid diet and sink my teeth into a juicy steak or pork chop soon.”

Monty patted her lightly on the arm. “Patience is a virtue,” he said with a smile.

“Spoken by the man who just finished an eight ounce sirloin,” Ellen returned with a fake glower. “But I should be thankful for small mercies. Only ten more weeks, four days and twenty hours till this thing comes off.”

“Not that you’re counting,” Tanner said with a grin.

“Can you tell she’s a bit testy?” Monty asked. He glanced over at Keira. “Honey, are you feeling okay? You’ve hardly eaten anything.”

“I’m not hundred percent,” was her vague reply. Which was the truth. Ever since Tanner had come into the shop, she felt as if her emotions had been tossed over like a bucket of nails she didn’t know how to gather up again.

She took a bite of her now cold cauliflower, choked it down and decided to give up on eating altogether.

“Is everyone done?” she asked, glancing around the table as she reached for the bowl of potatoes.

“What’s the rush?” Monty asked, stopping her by placing his hand on her arm. “We can sit awhile.”

“No rush. Just want to get this cleared off,” Keira said. “I want to get back to the shop to finish up a few things before tomorrow.”

Her father held her gaze, a faint frown wrinkling his forehead as if trying to see into her mind.

Tanner wasn’t the only one who didn’t know all the reasons she had left Saddlebank all those years ago. Though she had kept in touch with her parents, she had never answered all their questions about her and Tanner’s broken engagement. Her mother and father had dropped some gentle hints, but for the most part they had never probed too deeply.

“If you want to go out to the shop, I can take care of the dishes,” Monty said. He got up but suddenly his cell phone beeped. He glanced at it, then emitted a huge sigh.

“Everything okay?” Ellen asked.

Monty shook his head. “Not really. Giesbrook just called John. He wants those heifers delivered tomorrow.”

“You have to go all the way to Missoula on Sunday?” Keira asked, suddenly concerned.

“Not until later on in the day. I’d like to get some work done on the saddle, but I won’t be able to finish it.” He gave her an apologetic look. “Do you mind finishing it up for me?”