Deb Kastner - Yuletide Baby

“You aren’t bothering me,” she replied, which was half true. It would be a good long time, if ever, before she was completely comfortable around men—particularly those who claimed to be men of faith. But this was about the baby, and making sure the tiny infant was taken care of could never be a bother.

She squeezed her eyes closed and took a deep breath—in through the nose, out through the mouth—as she’d learned through many, many months of therapy.

Be calm. Relaxed. Composed.

She knew she was going to regret the next words coming out of her mouth, but she’d made a promise to herself and God that she’d help children in need whenever and wherever she found them. It was, in a sense, her penance for all of the mistakes she had made.

And at this moment, that meant she was going to help Noelle.

There was nothing she could do for the two children who’d died instantly after being sideswiped by Adrian’s car as he swerved all over the road in a drunken haze. She couldn’t turn back the clock and keep Adrian from walking out the door on that fateful day, even though she’d known he’d had too much to drink and that he was going to get behind the wheel and drive. She’d only been thinking about herself at the time. She’d wanted him gone, and she’d let him walk away.

She wished she could make things right, but she couldn’t. However, she could do something for the tiny baby who’d been abandoned by her mother on Christmas Eve. She could—and she would.

“I know I said I can’t leave my kids alone in the house, but that doesn’t mean you can’t come over here. I will set an extra plate, and you and Noelle can join us for Christmas dinner. I’m sure the kids would love to have extra guests at the table. I’ll be happy to watch Noelle for a bit while you catch a power nap. Unless you have other plans, that is.”

“No. No other plans. But are you sure I won’t be imposing on you?” Relief was evident in his voice.

“No.” Yes. “Not at all.”

“Well, then.”

Why was he hesitating? Could he hear the tentativeness in her tone?

“Oh, that’s right. You don’t have a car seat, do you?” She slung out a guess.

“That’s not a problem. A car seat isn’t necessary. It’s not an immediate issue, anyway. I’ll have to procure one eventually, I suppose, if I’m going to be the one taking Noelle to the authorities in San Antonio. But today, we can walk.”

Her shoulders slumped in relief and she dragged in a silent breath. He hadn’t noticed her uncertainty, then. Good.

“Then it’s settled. I’ll set an extra plate for you. Come over whenever you’re ready. Oh, and be sure to bundle Noelle up really well. There’s a bit of a chill in the air.”

“You’re sure you don’t mind the extra company?”

No, she wasn’t sure. She would never be sure. Probably not for one single day for the rest of her life. And she wished he would stop asking, or she was liable to give in to her doubts and capitulate.

“I’m absolutely certain,” she reassured him for what she hoped was the last time. “I’m looking forward to seeing that precious little blessing of yours.”

At least that was the truth.

Chapter Three

Shawn had never been so uncomfortable in his life. Being the kind and thoughtful woman she was, Heather hadn’t said as much out loud, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was intruding on her personal family time—and that she was only allowing it because he was entirely inadequate to the task of caring for an infant.

From the moment he’d stepped into the house, Heather had swept Noelle into her arms and taken over all of the baby care. How quickly she had put the poor little infant’s world to rights. Heather had also fixed his most pressing problem, insisting he head straight into Jacob’s bedroom for a quick nap.

He’d dropped into a dead sleep but had been wakened shortly after by a phone call from Jo, inquiring how he was faring with Noelle. She hadn’t even sounded a little bit surprised when he revealed he had come to Heather’s house for help. Probably because Jo already suspected how hopeless he’d be with an infant.

Why no one had bothered to inform him that he wasn’t up to the task was beyond him. No one had uttered a single word of warning. Instead, every last one of them had played right along last night when he’d unwittingly offered to care for the infant. No one had laughed. No one had even seemed startled by his hasty proposal. They’d let him dive right off the side of a cliff without testing the depth of the water first.

How could he have known what he was letting himself in for? He was a simple cowboy preacher. He knew ranching and he had the gift of gab. He was a single man and lived alone. His needs were few.

Noelle’s needs were apparently many, or at least they were a mystery to him, and he was clearly lacking in his ability to take decent care of her. At least here with Heather, he could be assured that Noelle would have everything she needed. Though the downside was that he’d have Heather as a witness to see exactly how inept he truly was. He grinned, not bothered by the laughter that was bound to come at his expense—and if there wasn’t yet, there soon would be. Christmas Day wasn’t over. He had a while yet to display the stunning depths of his incompetence.

He didn’t really care if other folks caught a laugh or two over his present circumstances—he was laughing at himself. It was pretty funny, when he thought about it.

Chuckling, Shawn assured Jo that all was well for the time being. It was all good now —because of Heather’s generosity and help. Jo laughed with him and agreed with his assessment of Heather and then promised she’d check in on him later. Shawn tucked his cell phone into his shirt pocket and stretched to get the kinks out of his shoulders. Now that he was awake, he wasn’t sure what he should be doing.

Probably leaving. He didn’t want to take advantage of Heather’s kindness, particularly on what he understood to be her first Christmas with her foster children.

But when he padded back into the living room and spied Noelle and Heather looking so comfortable and contented together in the rocking chair, he couldn’t find it in his heart to break them up. And truth be told, even considering how awkward he felt right now being the third wheel, he wasn’t yet prepared to go off on his own and face another night of single-parent foster-daddy duty.

He shuffled toward the corner of the living room, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his blue jeans. He probably should at least offer to do something to help, but he hadn’t the faintest notion of what assistance he could give. He wasn’t family. He wasn’t technically even a guest. He didn’t know where she kept the silverware. His cooking skills were marginal. And though he could probably manage to keep the older kids occupied, he was totally useless with the baby.

“You don’t have to hold up the wall,” Heather commented with a gentle smile, brushing a long strand of mahogany-brown hair behind her ear. “Feel free to sit wherever you can find a free space, although it looks like you may have to move something to find a seat. I usually have a rule about putting away toys before new ones get taken out, but I’m being a little lax today, since it’s Christmas.”

He smiled and nodded to acknowledge her offer, but he was too fidgety to sit down just yet. Besides, standing gave him a better view of the kids. There was nothing like the sight and sound of jubilant children on Christmas morning to raise a man’s spirits.

Crumpled wads of bright-colored Christmas wrap, now ripped and forgotten, lay balled underneath the glittering tree. Heather’s three foster children were busy with their new toys. The boys, nine-year-old Jacob and three-year-old Henry, played together, pushing their shiny cast-model race cars around a plastic track. Seven-year-old Missy held a new doll in the curve of her arm and mimicked Heather’s sounds and movements as she held Noelle. It was a heartwarming sight, especially since just yesterday he’d imagined he’d spend the day as a lonely bachelor.