Lynn Bulock - The Harbor of His Arms

He was going to be a hard one to shake, Holly thought as he retreated to the hall bathroom. Something about watching him from a rear view made her worry about more than just getting rid of him. Seeing him in jeans early in the morning, Holly could tell that having Alex around was going to be more threatening to her personal safety than worrying about Rico out there someplace in the shadows.

Grocery shopping with Alex was a nerve-racking experience for Holly. She was sure she would rather have been pushing the cart through the aisles with both boys along, and that was her least favorite way to shop. But Alex was much more adamant about putting into the cart large numbers of things she couldn’t afford and didn’t usually get. And unlike her boys, a pointed look in his direction did not make him put things back on the shelves.

In fact, no amount of arguing made him stick to her list or her budget. “You’re not doing me any favors in the long run,” she told him when he put the third expensive package of meat into the cart. “Once you’re gone in a few days the boys will only wonder why I’m not getting all this again.”

“Then they’ll be happy to have good old Uncle Alex stick around a while, won’t they?”

It was all Holly could do not to roll her eyes. “That’s what they’ll see when they look at you, isn’t it? An uncle to spoil them and let them do things that I wouldn’t on a bet. Of course they’ll be happy to keep you around.”

“Hey, I’d think you’d be just as happy. You get a little help, and Cook County pays both at the same time. If I were in your shoes it wouldn’t bother me to have them pay for a whole lot.”

Holly didn’t know how to answer that one. She’d tried hard not to blame the police force for Kevin’s death. It had been a struggle not to blame his job, or God, or even fate or whatever for what had happened. None of those alternatives seemed like the Christian way to deal with what had happened. But if she were honest with herself, the kind of feelings Alex was describing welled up in her more often than she’d like to admit. How did he do that? She didn’t remember inviting Alex Wilkins into her personal world of thoughts and feelings, yet he managed to get there often enough to make her quite uncomfortable.

She hoped her discomfort didn’t show. Holly wasn’t ready to share her deepest feelings with this man yet. “Well, be glad you’re not in my shoes. Because it’s not a very nice place to be right now.” Even that amount of honesty surprised her. She was used to keeping her problems to herself. What was it about squabbling over expensive cookies in the grocery store with this man that brought out so many mixed feelings?

“Gee, do I sense a little hostility here?” Alex stepped back from the cart. “If so, hooray. You need to vent some of that once in a while, Holly.”

She pushed the half-loaded basket past him, narrowly missing his toes. He was a cool customer; he didn’t even flinch when the cart rolled by that close. “Since when have you added psychologist to your other degrees, Wilkins? It doesn’t become you.”

“Not really psychology, just common sense. There’s still plenty of that taught in the academy and at law school. Maybe even we don’t apply it as often as we should.”

“How’s that?” He sounded genuinely concerned, and Holly wanted to know what he meant.

“I’ve been telling the brass for years that we don’t give enough support to victims and their families. Which is why I probably got this assignment,” he finished with a rueful grin. “Maybe they figure if I see what that kind of support actually entails I won’t be so quick to volunteer it.”

“Suits me. Then maybe I can get back to life as I know it.” Holly pushed the cart past another aisle, anxious to get out of the store without too much more goody-buying from Alex.

He wasn’t about to let her get away easily. Alex walked in front and put both hands on the end of the cart, blocking her way. “Yeah, well, don’t be so quick to go back to life as you know it. You weren’t doing that great a job, Holly.”

His gaze on her made a shiver run up her spine. She couldn’t ignore the serious tone of what he said or the implications of the words, either. “What—what do you mean by that?” she stammered.

“I may have only been here a day or so, but I’ve looked around. In a perfectly normal situation you’d be doing an okay job. But this isn’t a perfectly normal situation. And from what I’ve seen, you’re stressed and short on patience and money. Raising kids alone can’t be fun or easy.”

“No, but it’s reality, so you might as well let me get back to it.” Holly felt like folding her arms and pouting. Of course, neither action would make Alex take her any more seriously.

“Sorry, I can’t do that. I think I’ve made it perfectly clear that I’m not leaving for a while. I want to make sure you’re plenty safe first. You and the boys.”

“We’ll be safe. We have been for the entire time we’ve lived in Safe Harbor. It’s well named,” Holly argued.

“Not good enough. You were safe then because Rico was behind bars. Now he’s not, and that changes things. Besides, remember what I said earlier? That I was able to take Conor with me in his own car seat because none of the car doors were locked? You can’t be that lax, even after I go back to Chicago. Rico has friends. And they have friends. This may not be over for years.”

“Great. Just what I wanted to hear.”

He still wasn’t letting the basket move. “Whether you want to hear what I have to say or not, you have to listen. And listening means doing what I’m asking, like locking the car doors. Can we agree on that?”

Her aggravation and anxiety levels were growing by the second. Wasn’t there anything she could say that would make him listen? This was her life they were talking about, and she wanted to stay in control. “But Alex, I’ll stick out like a sore thumb. Nobody in Safe Harbor is that concerned about security. It’s a very small town.”

Shaking his head, Alex finally let go of the cart. He wasn’t letting go of his ideas, though. “Yeah, it’s a small town, all right. With a very small police force, I’ll bet. And a large tourist population.”

“So?”

“So nobody would notice a stranger like Rico or the guys he hangs out with if they came around looking for you. The Safe Harbor force has gotten our bulletins, but they don’t know how you fit in. The force here will have to be educated on what to look for, and chances are nobody around here is ready. Maybe I can make some money while I’m here, giving security seminars. Reimburse the county for some of these expensive groceries.” He illustrated his point by putting two half gallons of ice cream into the cart. It wasn’t the store brand, either.

Holly gave up. Arguing with him only made him more determined. “All right. Fine. I’ll lock the car doors. And make sure the dead bolt is on at night in the apartment.”

“And screen your phone calls. You do have caller ID, don’t you?”

The man was relentless. “Sure. Whatever.” Whatever was going to get him out of her hair the fastest. And if that meant agreeing with him on all his much-too-cautious safety notions, so be it. They were coming up to the checkout counter now and she knew there wasn’t enough money in her purse to pay for this heaped cart of food. So arguing with Alex at this point would be counterproductive.

But then, Holly was beginning to get the idea that arguing with Alex at any point was going to be fairly useless. He was a man used to getting his way. She might have plenty of experience arguing with stubborn little boys, but Alex with his courtroom training was a whole different kind of adversary.