Jillian Hart - A Handful of Heaven

“Hey, I wanted to thank you for the business last night. Things are slow and I needed the work.”

“Great. I hope you gave her a good price. Paige seems like a nice lady.”

That was an understatement. Evan had thought of her on and off all morning, since she’d slipped cinnamon rolls in with his pie, and he’d had them with his coffee this morning. He couldn’t get the image of her out of his mind, the softness she was so careful to hide. He’d been trying not to think of her, but things kept happening to bring his mind back to her. The cinnamon rolls, the sight of the diner as he drove past and now Phil’s call. That unsettled tightness clamped back around his chest, and he didn’t like it. He tried to will it away, but it remained.

“Seems. You mean you don’t know?”

Okay, Phil was fishing for the truth. What truth? There was nothing between him and Paige. How crazy was that? And Phil knew Evan’s position on women, including all the reasons behind it. Phil had been with him through the aftermath of the divorce. “I can’t believe you! I don’t have a personal interest in Paige. I was eating dinner in the diner when the pipe burst. That’s it.”

“Oh. Well, that explains it then. For a minute there, I thought you just might have found a woman who could help you get over what Liz did to you.”

“You sound disappointed.”

“I am, but I understand. I’m on my way into town right now.”

“Here? You’re coming here?” For some reason that was too much of a switch for his thoughts to take. Probably because they were still lagging, as he gazed out the store’s window at the front window of Paige’s diner. He realized he had a new halter and lead rope in hand, although he didn’t remember picking one out, and he headed to the cash stand. “What’s the deal? You’re not out in this neck of the woods much, not since Cal flew the coop.”

“I started work on an estimate for the diner, and realized I had to come take a second look to do it up right. I need the business, so I want to do a good job. You wouldn’t want to give Paige a good word or two about me, huh? She looks savvy enough to get more than a few estimates for me to compete with. What do you say?”

“I say come meet me for lunch and I’ll let you talk me into it. Or at least, you can talk to her about it.”

“Done. I’m, uh, about five minutes away. I’ll meet you at the diner?”

Evan pocketed his phone and set his purchases on the scarred wooden counter as Dalton slid behind to run the decades-old cash register. Funny thing how he had a better view of the diner from here. And he could see not only the diner, but also the woman who ran it, out salting down the freshly shoveled sidewalk in front of the door.

She looked as lovely as the day’s sunshine. She wore a bright yellow spring coat over her standard dark sweater and jeans, and he couldn’t remember ever noticing her in a bright color before. If he had, surely he would have taken a long second look. The splash of color brought out the pale rosebud pink of her cheeks, and the sheen of golden highlights in her dark brown hair. Teenagers climbed out of a minivan, calling out to her, and she greeted them with an unguarded smile.

The impact hit him like a punch to his chest.

“Should I just put that on your bill, Evan?” Dalton asked.

“Uh…yep.” Rattled but not wanting to show it, Evan nodded thanks to the storeowner, grabbed his bagged purchase and walked on wooden legs to the doors. He was only distantly aware of pushing through the swinging door and into the chill of the wind. Cold penetrated his shirt, for he hadn’t zipped his jacket, but it registered only vaguely. He could not seem to take his eyes off Paige.

She was talking with the kids, listening attentively, her head tipped slightly to the left, her thick fall of bangs cascading over her forehead. She was pretty. She was nice. She was a good mom. That was easy to see as her son stood at her side, tall and good-natured; Evan remembered that Alex McKaslin had played on both the football and basketball teams with Cal. He was a good kid. And Paige, as busy as she was, had made it to every game, home and away. A longing filled him as he inexplicably felt drawn to her, and suddenly the distance between them seemed intolerable.

What was happening to him? You’re lonely, man, he admonished himself. And loneliness was wearing on him. Making him vulnerable. Making him wish for what he knew was impossible. For what he never wanted to try again. Marriage had been a miserable path for both him and Liz: even though he’d tried his best to make her happy, he’d failed.

It wasn’t all his fault—he took what blame was his and he’d learned from it, but she’d been a hard woman to please. Selfish to the core, and in leaving she had ruined his credit and nearly bankrupted him, holding the custody of the boys over him. That’s what he should be reminding himself of every time he looked at Paige McKaslin.

Except it was hard, and he didn’t know why the memory of the disasters and hurts of his past weren’t keeping his interest in her at bay. Paige was talking with the teenagers now, easy and open. Her son and the other kids seemed to like her so well. She ushered them inside, holding the small plastic bag of rock salt in the crook of one arm. When she stepped through the threshold and out of sight, it was as if the sun had slipped behind a cloud, and he shivered.

“Evan! Earth to Evan! Are you all right, man?”

Evan realized he’d been staring across the street as though he was mesmerized. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts, and looked around. His big burly brother-in-law was bounding down the sidewalk, his plumber’s van parked six or seven car lengths up the street. He realized Phil must have called his name several times. Do I look like a fool, or what?

Not knowing what to do with himself, he yanked open the passenger door of his truck and tossed the bag on the floor. “Phil. You look ready to work.”

“I came to get a better look in the crawl space. Didn’t want to wear my Sunday best.” Phil was no dim bulb. There was a knowing twinkle in his eyes as he gazed across the street. “That Paige McKaslin sure is a nice lady, don’t you think?”

That sounded like a loaded question. Just how long had he been watching Paige? And how transparent had he been? “She seems nice enough. She runs a good business. Serves some of the best food in the county.”

“All good reasons to go get something to eat at her place, right?” Phil seemed to take that in stride.

As Evan stepped off the curb, he realized that maybe he’d been misreading Phil’s statements. He was starting to scare himself. But considering the financial devastation a woman had brought to his life, he probably should be terrified. He was committed to being totally single. That was the way of it. Nothing was going to change his mind about that. “I’m in the mood for some good homemade chili.”

“Homemade chili?”

“It’s her family’s recipe. Her parents and her grandparents. It’s good stuff.”

“Now you’ve got me hungry. How are the boys?”

“Do you think I know? Good, I guess. They’re busy. You just wait. Has your daughter picked a college yet?”

“She’s got another year, thank the Lord, but that’ll go by quick. Then Marie and I won’t know what to do with ourselves.” Phil hiked up onto the sidewalk, his toolbox rattling. He seemed nonchalant about the upcoming change in his life—as if it would be an easy transition.

Not so easy. Then again, Phil had a good wife. A woman who’d stood by him and worked beside him every day of their marriage. An empty nest might not be so empty in the presence of a happy marriage. But a happy marriage—those had to be rare. It certainly hadn’t happened for him.