Earl Sewell - Boyfriend Shopping - Shopping for My Boyfriend / My Only Wish / All I Want for Christmas Is You

“No, but I don’t want her to know that. Come on, Anna, help me out here. If you had a boyfriend, what would you want him to get you for Christmas?” Paul wanted me to give him a quick answer to a complex question.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“What’s what supposed to mean?” He looked confused by my question.

“You said if I had a boyfriend. Do you think that I’m not cute? Do you think that guys aren’t interested in me? Are you making fun of me because Maya and Viviana both have boyfriends?”

“Wait. I thought we were talking about my issue and not yours,” Paul said cautiously. He then shrugged his shoulders and turned the palms of his hands toward me.

“Get her whatever you think she’ll like, Paul,” I said. I was done talking and listening to him. I wasn’t mad at him; I was just trying to navigate the thoughts and feelings that came with not having a boyfriend to share the holidays and spend time with.

“Geez.” Paul stood up and headed back upstairs. “Why are girls so complicated?”

* * *

A week had gone by since I had last spoken with Jeremy for any length of time. When I saw him at school, I wanted to have a face-to-face conversation with him about Bernita and what I had heard about her. But she seemed to have Jeremy radar because the few times I got to see him passing in the hallway, she’d magically materialize like a witch appearing from behind a cloud of green smoke. She’d come over and try to act friendly with both of us, but I could see right through her phony ways. Jeremy was totally oblivious to the tension between Bernita and me. He actually suggested that we all hang out sometime. When he said that, I thought, Are you freaking kidding me? Please tell me you’re not that blind. Bernita and I are two totally different types of girl. Heck, we’re not even in the same universe. When he made his suggestion, Bernita and I both offered up phony smiles and blatant lies. I would have preferred to spend time cleaning out dog cages at the local animal shelter before I spent time around Bernita. Although we never officially declared war against each other, Bernita and I sensed that we were competing for the affections of Jeremy. After I realized that I couldn’t chat with him at school without Bernita appearing, I decided to give him a call one evening.

“Hey. What’s up?” I said when he picked up the phone.

“Drama.” His answer caught me off guard.

“Drama?” I sighed. “Who is bringing you drama?”

“Bernita,” he answered.

“I told you that chick was no good.” I jumped all over the opportunity to bad-mouth her. I told him that Bernita would never be the type of friend that I am to him. I told him that she was sneaky and malicious.

“Whatever.” He brushed off my comment like it was an uninvited fly at a picnic.

“What did she do?” I tried a different approach to get him to open up to me.

“First of all, she sends me text messages constantly.”

“So she’s a text-message stalker?” I laughed loudly.

“She sends me, like, fifty text messages a day. She knows my every move. I don’t know how but she does.”

“That’s your boo thang,” I teased him and was secretly happy that she had gotten on his nerves.

“She’s about to be fired,” he said.

“About to be? When did you hire her and why can’t you just do it now?” I pushed him to make a decision at that moment.

“I told her that I didn’t like her acting like a stalker and that I’m trying to give her another chance,” he said.

“Another chance? Did I miss something? Are you guys officially dating?” I closed my eyes and waited for his answer to punch me in the gut like a cold fist.

“I don’t know what we are. Right now she seems too needy to me,” he said.

I exhaled. There is still hope, I thought. “Well. Again. That’s the chick you decided to hang around,” I said, hoping my comment carried enough power to break the spell that Bernita cast so that he could see her the way I did. My comment didn’t work because he avoided acknowledging it and changed the subject.

“So what are you doing this weekend?” he asked.

“Just chilling out. What about you?” I asked, feeling a bit disappointed.

“About the same. Do you want to hang out this weekend? Maybe we could go bowling,” he suggested.

I smiled so hard my cheeks ached but I still gave him crap because I knew he had a good sense of humor. “I don’t know. Will your stalker girlfriend let you?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said.

“That’s what you say, but I’m sure she thinks of you as her boyfriend.”

“So can you hang out or not?” He jumped right to the point.

“Well, if you’re not afraid that Bernita might catch you, I guess I can hang out with my friend,” I said jokingly.

“Ha, very funny, Anna. Have your mom drop you off at the bowling alley around 8:00 p.m. Saturday.”

“Wait. You’re not inviting Bernita, are you?” I asked, fearing that his judgment was still clouded.

“No. It will be just you and me. I need a break from her. I want to hang out with my girl,” he said. I liked the sound of that. I only wished he had said “girlfriend.” But at least I knew that I still had a fighting chance.

“Okay. I’ll see you then,” I said.

five

I arrived at the bowling alley ahead of Jeremy. When I went inside I discovered that it was cosmic bowling night, which meant there were dancing lights, hot new music, glow-in-the-dark lanes, pins and balls. It was so cool to step inside and suddenly notice how everything glowed. I sat down in a common area and sent Jeremy a text.

Where u @?

I will b there in a minute.

Ok.

A short time later Jeremy arrived and joined me.

“Are you ready to have some fun?” he asked as he gave me a hug.

“Yeah.” I smiled. We rented red-and-blue bowling shoes and got our lane assignment. We each searched for the perfect bowling ball before beginning the game.

“Do you want some food?” Jeremy asked.

“I’m not hungry right now. Maybe we can get a sandwich later,” I said.

“You’re really cool to hang with, Anna,” he said with the cutest smile, and his eyes seemed to make promises that his mouth refused to admit.

“You’re just now figuring that out?” I laughed over my words and playfully punched his shoulder.

“Ha-ha,” he answered with sarcasm. As we bowled, I noticed that he kept checking his cell phone and it was more annoying than walking into a spiderweb.

“Are you going to pay attention to how I am kicking your butt or are you going to fumble with your phone all night?” I asked.

“You’re my friend, right?” he asked.

“Of course I am,” I said, hoping my agitation didn’t come through.

“Check this out. Bernita sent me a text message and asked where I was. I didn’t feel like any drama, so I told her that I was at home. She just sent me a text message saying that I’m lying and sent me my exact location. She’s been doing that for the past few days and I can’t figure out how she’s doing it.”

“Let me think for a moment,” I said. Sitting down on a nearby chair, I pondered how Bernita was pulling off her trick. “Did you give her your cell phone recently or let her keep it for a while?” I asked.

“No. Wait. She sold me her iPhone 4S because she noticed the screen on my iPhone 3 was cracked. She used some of the money I’d given to her to upgrade to the iPhone 5.”

“Let me see your phone,” I said and held out my hand.

“Here,” he said, handing it to me.

“Does this thing have cellular service?”

“Yeah, I had it switched on when she gave it to me,” he said.