Katlyn Duncan - This Summer

As if the person heard the hammering of my heart, the driver’s side opens. A woman in her mid-fifties with a short black bob and black pantsuit exits the car. Her stick-thin legs look as if they are about to crack under the pressure of standing on five-inch heels. I’ve seen this woman’s face all over town on benches and other 'For Sale' signs.

My damp hands pull into fists in my lap. My head snaps towards Lily and she nods. There wasn’t an exact moment or time we spent on our mental connection, but it's strong enough that we can convey entire stories across a crowded room with one look. And sitting in the same car I sent the strongest message I could.

I made a point to be over my neighbor and best friend since childhood leaving my life without a word since. I take a slow breath and exhale, turning my gaze to the glove box, focusing my thoughts away from him.

Lily peels out of the driveway, away from our house.

The further down the street we get, the easier my breathing comes and I unfurl my hands and wipe them on the plush seat.

The car is silent except for the roar of my heartbeat in my ears. Lily reaches for the volume and turns the music up again. I swallow, attempting to dislodge the lump in my throat. It’s not until we reach the main road that I’m able to breathe normally again.

“Ethan!” Lily calls over the music. “Did you meet any hot babes on the cruise?”

“Oh yeah,” he says, dragging the words out. “But none as hot as you.”

Lily cackles and I can’t help but smile. She has no idea how he feels about her, and I would never spill the beans.

“Do you know which pool you’re assigned to?” Lily asks, pushing the subject farther away from the near fatal freakout she just witnessed.

“No way,” Ethan says. “You know Dad doesn’t treat us any differently than the rest of the staff.”

Lily nudges my arm. “Have you talked to Carter since you got back?”

“Seriously?” Ethan groans. “We had a nice two weeks without talking about Carter.”

Lily glances at him in the rearview mirror.

I shake my head. “We just got in last night. I passed out like the second we got home. I don’t see a problem though. We’re still friends. I don’t see why anything will change.” I don't mention the dozens of angry and sappy texts I returned to, all dated the first week I’d been gone. I know I'm seeing him today and, by the late timestamp on most of them, I'm not sure if he still feels the same way after a week of silence.

Ethan snorts.

I turn in my seat. “What?”

He tilts his head as if I just told him the world was flat. “You can’t be that stupid.”

I sock him in the leg and he wrinkles his nose.

“He’s right,” Lily says. “It’s going to be awkward as hell if you two are working as co-counselors together. You better not get back together.”

I turn in my seat to face her. “That’s not going to happen. He’s going to California for college. It was going to happen eventually. And he agreed to still work at the camp.”

Lily turns the music lower. “What if he hooks up with another girl? Then you have to work with him every day.”

I shrug. “He can hook up with whoever he wants.”

“You say that,” her tone is serious. “But you know you are going to feel like crap.”

“I forgot you wrote the book on boyfriends.” The words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them.

I don’t look at her, but I know she’s chewing her lip.

“You’re right. But I’ve dated enough to know that this isn’t going to turn out well.”

We rarely argue and she has to know I didn’t mean it. I don’t do conflict so, in typical best friend fashion, she drops it. Our relationship is strong because we’re able to be honest with each other. She’s dished it out at me a few times but I never faulted her. But that doesn't make it feel any better.

“Maybe Dad will switch Carter with someone else,” I offer by way of apology.

She points a solitary finger up as if strengthening her point. “As long as I’m not with Umber again.”

Ethan leans over the console. “I don’t think Umber applied this year after you sent him that beauty basket.”

She cracks a smile. “After a summer working with his body odor, it was just a small suggestion.”

I laugh. “I think he got the hint. Especially the amount of soap you put in there.”

She shrugs. “His future wife will thank me.” We arrive at the park in twenty minutes. Walking through the woods across from my house we would have been there in half the time, but it was humid enough for June that we drove. Lily refused to walk, not wanting to arrive sweaty for her first impression at camp orientation. We were all certified for the job earlier that year during spring break, but today we’ll be paired up and strengthening the relationship amongst the staff. Dad’s phrasing. Mostly it's first impressions and final pairings for the staff that we care about.

Lily pulls into a parking spot at the back of the tan brick building that serves as the office for the Parks Department. Dad is the head of the department that takes care of the local parks and the summer camp program that I’ve been involved with since I was old enough to attend. When I turned sixteen I took the role of counselor. I managed to convince Lily to apply two summers ago. It was the best summer at camp by far. And also the worst.

Ethan jumps out of the car just as Daisy Luster pulls up in the spot next to us. He slams the door and hurries over to her, scooping her up in a bear hug. She squeals and tucks her head into his neck, her black hair coiling around his neck like a snake.

“Who’s the girl?” Lily observes.

I don’t acknowledge the undertone in her voice. “Daisy? She’s a swimmer at Foster’s Academy. Her and Ethan coach the kids at the community center over the winter. I guess she made the cut this year.”

Lily pulls her keys out of the ignition and opens her door without another word. When we reach the sidewalk I sling an arm around her and we walk towards the entrance.

“You’d tell me if you saw who I’m paired with this year right?” Lily asks.

I open the front door and usher her inside. “You know my dad,” I reply. Dad insisted from the start of us working here that Ethan and I go through the same process as the rest of the employees. He didn’t play favorites, which made us proving ourselves to the staff that much harder. But neither of us minded the challenge.

“Hey Rocky,” I beam at the man sitting at the front desk. The corners of his eyes crinkle with his sweet smile. He lifts his worn fishing hat in greeting, revealing a smattering of thin white hair poking up at all angles.

We wave and pass through another door.

“That’s not an answer,” Lily says in a sing-song voice.

“No I have not seen it,” I assure her.

“God, how can you stand it?” she gripes. “ You know you’re with Carter.”

“Because we were last year,” I say. Dad rarely separated returning co-counselors since the bond is already established.

“Hadley,” a familiar voice calls from behind us.

I turn to see Carter, meeting his ice blue eyes. He swipes a chunk of dark hair away from his face as he pushes away from the wall. Was he waiting for me? I still don't understand why the Adonis walking towards us came down the high school social ladder to pluck me from the masses, but I never questioned it. Not when he filled the truck-sized void in my heart, at least for a little while. But the tightness at the corners of his eyes makes me pause.

“Hey Carter,” I say.

“I’ll see you inside,” Lily adds and slowly walks backward towards the meeting room, her eyes darting between us.