Joan Johnston - Invincible

If she and Bull were going to be in the same room again, she should take advantage of the opportunity to explain what she’d kept secret for so many years.

Maybe, at long last, she would.

“Hello, Bull.”

“Hello, Duchess.”

Bella felt her heart flutter when Bull called her Duchess. It had been his pet name for her during their marriage, spoken with tenderness and love. He’d rarely used it after they’d separated. Right now it sounded…so very good. She waited for the snide or snarly comment that usually followed, turning their post-separation encounters into a cat and dog fight.

It didn’t come.

She eased back into the Adirondack chair situated on the sunny bank of the James River, where both families had gathered for a Mother’s Day picnic, and gestured him into the chair beside her. “Would you like to join me?”

“How are you?” he asked as he stooped under a colorful umbrella and slid into the slatted wooden lawn chair beside her.

Such an innocent question. How should she answer it? She felt the tension gather in her shoulders just from sitting so close to Bull. Felt her heart begin the ridiculous pitty-pat that proximity to this masterful, passionate man always caused. She looked into his sky-blue eyes and opened her mouth to tell him the truth. What came out was, “I’m fine.”

His gaze roamed her face. “You look a little pale. I didn’t see you at Cote D’Azur or Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat over the winter. What have you been doing with yourself?”

I skipped a holiday on the French Riviera this year because I was getting a lot of medical tests. You see, my heart is failing. I’m slowly—but surely—dying.

Bella thought the words. They never made it out of her mouth. She’d heard the subtle insinuation in Bull’s voice. The mocking suggestion that she’d been hiding out with yet another lover. The truth stuck in her throat.

Lies came so much easier. At the beginning of their marriage, lies had been necessary. The truth would have destroyed everything.

Unfortunately, lying had become the easy way to keep peace between them. It was difficult to believe she could tell the truth now and not have it turned against her. But she’d already lost Bull. When the most important thing in her life was gone, what did she have to lose?

“To be honest, Bull, I’m—”

Before she could finish her sentence, she was interrupted by Foster’s three teenage girls. They rushed up to her Adirondack chair and grabbed her hands and arms, pulling her to her feet.

“Come and join us, Aunt Bella,” one of the twins urged. “We’re going canoeing.”

Bella was already standing by the time she said, “No, thank you, girls. I prefer to enjoy the James River from its banks, rather than by paddling through it. You go ahead.”

The twins turned their attention to Bull, who’d risen to his feet when the girls pulled her upright. “Come with us, Uncle Bull,” one twin pleaded. “We hardly ever see you anymore.”

“Please come,” the second twin urged. “There are three of us, so if we take two canoes we need another paddler.”

“What about your dad?” Bull asked. “Have you asked him?”

“Daddy said he needs to talk to Mom,” the youngest of the three girls said.

“We think that’s a good idea,” one of the twins said. Three worried glances slid to their parents, who were following an old wagon trail along the river bank. Foster and Patsy walked along separate tracks in the dirt road. The conversation seemed heated.

“What about one of your older brothers?” Bull asked.

“Ben and Carter already took their girlfriends out on the Chris-Craft,” one of the twins replied.

“C’mon, Uncle Bull. Pleeeeeze,” the youngest girl begged, latching onto his arm with both her hands. “Otherwise, I can’t go.”

Bull glanced in Bella’s direction. “I hoped to spend some time talking with your aunt.”

Bella wondered what he had in mind. They’d rarely spoken cordially during their separation. They hadn’t spoken at all since February. And yet, before it was too late, she hoped to explain things she’d left unexplained.

Time was running out.

She was seized with a sudden fear. Once she told Bull the truth, there would be no turning back. Whatever chance they might have had for some sort of reconciliation before she died might be gone. There was still a great deal of the day left. Maybe, if she had more time to think, she could find a better way to say what had to be said.

She glanced toward Camille’s crestfallen face and said, “Go ahead, Bull. We can talk when you get back.”

“All right,” he said, his gaze intent on her. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

Bella watched as Camille slid her arm through Bull’s and hauled him off toward the boathouse, talking his ear off as he strode away. The twins ran ahead. Their matching pink bikini bathing suits revealed just how grown-up they’d become in the years since she’d last seen them.

The sun was hot, and Bella settled back into the umbrella-shaded Adirondack. Foster’s second family was almost grown and would soon be leading lives apart from their parents. Meaning Patsy might feel more free to walk away from her husband. Which would be too bad. She didn’t like Foster, but she hated to see another family broken up.

Bella’s gaze naturally sought out the riverbank again, where Patsy and Foster were walking together. Or rather, walking in the same direction. Their body language made it clear they weren’t “together.” They stopped and faced each other.

Patsy’s chin jutted, and she perched balled fists on her hips. Foster locked his hands behind his head, then dropped them to his sides as he took a step toward Patsy. She took a step back, maintaining the distance between them.

The sharp sound of Patsy’s voice carried to Bella, but not the words she spoke. The wind caught Foster’s intense masculine tones and carried them in her direction, as well, without revealing what he’d said.

Bella wished she knew more about what had caused the rift between them in the first place. She’d always envied the fact that, after he divorced his first wife, Foster had found another woman to love. In the years since she and Bull had separated, Bella had never found another man who could inspire anything close to the feelings Bull had. Lord knew—and the gossip columns had reported endlessly—how hard she’d tried.

It was little comfort to know that Bull hadn’t found anyone either. He, at least, had gone through several long-term liaisons. In each case, she’d held her breath waiting to hear him ask her for a divorce. But the relationships had always ended.

With the days of her life numbered, Bella knew how foolish she’d been to walk away from the one man she’d ever truly loved. All those wasted years! Regret seemed futile, but she felt it all the same. She wanted Bull’s arms around her again before it was too late. She needed to tell him the truth. She just hoped he would be able to forgive her.

“Your Grace?”

Bella turned and felt her heart sink when she saw what Emily was holding. Her assistant had stayed at the main house to await news from the one child who hadn’t yet replied to her invitation.

“Lord Maxwell won’t be coming,” Emily said as she handed a floral card to Bella. “He sent flowers—your favorite, hyacinths—along with the note.”

“Thank you, Emily,” Bella said as she took the note. She opened it and read:

Dear Mother,

Sorry I can’t be with you to celebrate. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of company without me. I’ll see you when you return home.

Max

The note sounded cold to Bella. It was certainly missing any sort of affection. Not Love, Max or even Your loving son, Max. Just Max. No XXXs or OOOs—no kisses or hugs.