Virginia McCullough - Girl In The Spotlight

“No explanation needed.” Lowering his voice, he asked, “I assume you went to Perrie Lynn’s website?”

She nodded vigorously. “I saw exactly what you were talking about.” She stared out into the crowded café. “She’s simply breathtaking. There’s no other word for her. And she definitely reminded me of you, and not just the hair and skin. There was something else. An expression, maybe an attitude. Even in the photo she exuded an air of confidence.”

He chose not to probe further into what she’d just said. Yes, he’d been a fairly confident twenty-year-old back when he and Lark were seeing each other. He was considered a good-looking guy, and he’d made his way through college without a lot of drama, at least until what happened with Lark. Up to that point he’d been carefree, with his eyes on the future, specifically his career plans.

“I think we could make a good case for exploring this further based solely on her resemblance to us,” Miles offered, “but the other details line up perfectly, almost too perfectly. If there is such a thing.”

“It’s premature to start thinking of this precious girl as our daughter, Miles, but we have a place to start. From the beginning, I’ve always known I’d do what I could to prepare for her eighteenth birthday, a landmark year in adoption terms. So I’m ready.”

“What do you mean by ‘prepare’?”

She frowned. “I’ve registered with the adoption agency and it’s cross-referenced on a state list. If our child decides she wants to look for me now that she’s old enough to make her own decisions, I made sure I could be found.”

That felt like a blow. Irrationally, he was hurt. “You mean, you’ve already begun a process to find her.”

“Well, yes, in a way. But it’s not a matter of me finding her,” she explained. “As I said, if she looks, she’ll be able to find me—easily.”

Still nursing an open wound, he asked, “Would you have told me if she’d found you?”

“Of course, if that’s what she wanted.” She dropped her fork, letting it clatter on the plate. “I can see from your pained expression that I’ve upset you. But I think you’re getting the wrong impression.”

“Then fill me in.” His voice had turned cold, but he couldn’t help it.

“Statistically, adopted kids tend to think of searching for their birth mothers first.”

Good point. “I suppose that’s true.”

“It makes sense when you think about it.” She spoke in a low voice. “Adopted kids, girls and boys, tend to think about the woman who actually gave birth to them more than they think about their father.”

She leaned forward, her tone earnest. “Many people search, especially as young adults, because if they don’t, they always wonder. The first step was providing my information to the adoption agency, and with their cooperation, to the state office that responds to inquiries. But I’d never have disrupted this young woman’s life by popping up unannounced.”

She picked up her fork and jabbed the air for emphasis. “I’ve always hoped she’d look for me. For all we know, now that she’s turned eighteen...”

She didn’t need to finish the sentence, and he nodded to acknowledge he understood. The image of the graceful skater, so triumphant in her medal win, flashed in his mind. He couldn’t see that focused girl taking a detour to search for biological parents, not while she stood in the very spotlight her adoptive parents undoubtedly had worked hard to help her reach.

“We can’t assume she’d search right now,” Miles said, giving voice to his doubts. “From what I understand, which is based on what the TV commentators said, she trains every day to prepare for the next event.” He paused. “I won’t do anything on my own, by the way. Whatever we do to locate our child, I want us to do it together.”

She raised her eyebrows. “In contrast to what I’ve already done, you mean?”

“I don’t want to be petty about it, but it’s just that I thought of you first when this possibility became clear. I wouldn’t have checked it out without talking to you.”

“I see.”

“And it’s apparent you would have plunged in alone.”

“Yes, to be honest, I would—I did.” She bit the corner of her lower lip. “But, Miles, I haven’t ever told anyone about our daughter.”

“I’m not anyone. I always thought that having the baby was something we went through together. If you were talking to that agency we worked with, you should have called me to see if I wanted to be included.”

Her eyes opened wide in surprise. It was clear she didn’t share his stance on that. She pushed a slice of bacon to the side of her plate and focused on buttering a chunk of the muffin.

“Your silence speaks volumes, Lark.” He’d never expected this wave of reproach, even anger, that was coming over him now.

Raising her head, she stared boldly into his eyes. “Okay, to be perfectly honest, until now I’ve felt entirely alone with my secret. But starting today, we’re together in this.”

He forced a smile. “Okay. I guess that will have to be good enough.”

“Oh, tell the truth, Miles,” she said, her voice low but impatient. “How much did you think about me over the years? Did you ever wonder if I thought about the baby we gave up? You know, like every day of my life.”

Uncertain where to begin, he said nothing. But she wadded up her napkin and tossed it on her plate.

“Are you finished picking at that mountain of food?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Then let’s take a walk.” He signaled the waitress and took cash from his wallet to pay the bill. The chair legs scraped on the wooden floor when Lark stood. With her face pinched in emotional pain, she struggled to pull on her jacket. He grabbed it and held it so she could shove her arm through the sleeve. Last night when he pictured this reunion of sorts, he’d imagined it would be all about strategies and plans. Dispassionate and businesslike. What a fool he could be sometimes. He might have known resentments, old and new, would be dredged up.

Once outside, they stood on the sidewalk in front of the café.

“I didn’t want to start an argument, Miles.”

He shook his head. “Me, neither, but it seems we need to clear the air. Let’s do it where we’re certain no one will overhear us.”

The coffee had left him jittery, or maybe he’d have been anxious, anyway. Especially now, knowing he’d put Lark even more on edge.

“Do you have time for a drive?” she asked. “We still haven’t made any decisions. That’s what this morning was supposed to be about.”

He nodded. “I didn’t expect to be so stirred up inside. Where do you want to go?”

“Follow me. I’m right next to the south end of the waterfront park in Two Moon Bay. I’ll pull into the lot in the park. We can walk on the beach and jetty and talk this through. Then we can warm up inside my cottage.”

He nodded. “Let’s go.”

* * *

TWENTY MINUTES AFTER leaving Hugo’s, Lark pulled into the lot adjacent to the beach and waited for Miles to park next to her. She watched him get out of his car and walk toward her while pulling a knit hat over his ears. Staring at the whitecaps forming on the water, he looked grim, his forehead wrinkled in thought, or perhaps consternation.

Unfortunately, Lark didn’t know him well enough to draw conclusions. Back in college he’d been an easygoing guy, out for a fun time. Now he was divorced and a responsible dad.

Regardless of what he was feeling at the moment, she’d bet money their baby had barely produced a ripple in the pond of his life. Not like the boulder that had crashed into hers.

“Let’s walk down to the end of the jetty.” She pointed to the left, where the concrete pier looked clear of ice.