PENNY JORDAN - Starting Over

Almost as though he were standing outside of himself watching what he was doing Nick was aware of his own actions and his inability to stop them. It seemed to take an aeon of time for him to lean forward closing the gap between Sara and himself and then to cover her mouth with his, but in reality he knew it could only have been seconds. Her mouth tasted velvety warm, sweet salt sexy and the pressure of his own against it intensified.

Beneath the hot crushing sexuality of Nick’s kiss Sara’s senses reeled. This was the kind of kiss she had dreamed of as a young awkward girl … the kind of man … the kind of sensual immediacy that could not be contained or controlled. Instinctively her mouth softened beneath Nick’s and then outside in the corridor she heard someone laughing.

Immediately reality intruded, breaking the spell she was under. In the same second that she pulled back from him Nick released her. Wordlessly they glared at one another. Two pairs of eyes both reflecting the same furious resentment, both reflecting the same hot aching desire.

‘Everything all right now?’ Tullah asked Nick when he rejoined them. Saul had gone to pay the bill so only she was there to see the shattered, shocked expression in Nick’s eyes.

‘Everything’s fine,’ he lied as he guided her towards the exit where Saul was waiting for them both.

Crighton men! Sara seethed, her emotions in chaotic turmoil, her body equally disturbed. Tania had been so right about them.

‘GOOD LORD, IS that really the time?’ Frederick de Voysey exclaimed as he glanced at his watch. ‘I had no idea. Can’t remember when I last enjoyed m’self so much … excellent dinner, m’dear,’ he praised Honor.

‘I’ll drive you back to Fitzburgh Place.’ David smiled. He had deliberately not had any wine with his meal, knowing that he would be driving Honor’s cousin home afterwards.

He had been a little bit uncertain about the wisdom of inviting Freddy round for dinner the same day that the priest was arriving, but as always Honor’s judgement had proved better than his and the two men both in their seventies had got on famously together. So much so that Lord Astlegh had already invited the priest to join him in a game of chess later in the week.

‘In terms of religion they may be poles apart,’ Honor had agreed when David had raised that issue. ‘But in terms of their desire to help their fellow man they are very similar and surely that matters more.’

And so it had proved to be. From the tone of Freddy’s conversation David suspected that it wouldn’t be too long before the priest found himself involved in one or other of the peer’s ‘good works,’ but right now he could see that the older man was looking tired. He had, after all, only arrived from Ireland a few hours earlier.

‘I think I’m ready to call it a night as well,’ Father Ignatius agreed.

At the front door Honor kissed her elderly cousin fondly.

‘I’ve had the plans back for the orangery,’ he reminded her. ‘You’d better come up and see them.’

‘I shall,’ Honor assured him affectionately.

Closing the front door behind him she smiled at the priest. ‘Would you like to wait here until David comes back or would you prefer to go straight to your bed?’

‘Straight to bed if you don’t mind,’ he confirmed.

It had been a tiring journey from Ireland but it was a peaceful kind of tiredness. He had gone there for a purpose, back to the place where his ministry had begun. Now he could settle to a life in the Cheshire countryside. Father Ignatius was at the place that he knew would be his final home on earth.

He allowed Honor to walk with him to the small self-contained apartment they had prepared for him. Its rooms had a stark almost cell-like bareness that he knew was deliberate. David’s decision or Honor’s? It didn’t really matter. He felt comfortable here. At home … and was appreciative of whichever of them it was that had had the sensitivity to know that this would be what he wanted.

The books on the simple bookshelves were David’s choice—he knew that—and would have known it even if Honor had not whispered to him that David had spent days combing antiquarian booksellers lists for them.

They were books they had talked of in Jamaica. He reached for one, smoothing the aged leather cover, opening it and breathing in the familiar smell of its pages. There had been books like this at the Jesuit college where he had been educated. How long ago that seemed now.

‘Do you think Father Ignatius is all right?’ David asked Honor an hour later. They were in bed lovingly curled up together like two spoons. Whilst he waited for her response David started to nibble tenderly at the exposed curve of Honor’s neck. There was something uniquely adorable and almost absurdly youthful about the back of her neck. Closing his eyes he breathed in the unmatchable Honor scent of her. He was lucky, so undeservably blessed.

‘He’s tired after his journey, that’s all,’ Honor reassured him. ‘He certainly enjoyed Freddy’s company.’

‘Okay, I concede, you were right about them getting on well together,’ David laughed.

‘Olivia and Caspar were due back today, weren’t they?’ Honor said quietly.

‘Yes,’ David agreed. There was no laughter in his voice now.

Immediately Honor turned round to look at him.

‘Give her time, David,’ she counselled him. ‘I know how much you want to show her what she means to you, but—’

‘She hates me, Honor,’ David interrupted her sadly. ‘I can feel it….’

‘No, it isn’t you she hates,’ Honor told him wisely. ‘It’s herself. Poor Olivia …’

‘It’s my fault that she is suffering so much,’ David told her.

‘In part, yes,’ Honor agreed steadily.

‘I was a bad father,’ he said heavily.

‘Yes,’ Honor acknowledged. ‘You were a bad father, David,’ she told him truthfully.

‘I just want to make it up to her but she won’t let me get near her….’

‘Give her time,’ Honor repeated.

She could hear the pain and frustration in his voice and see it in his eyes.

‘Somehow it’s easier with Jack,’ David continued. ‘He’s—’

‘… male?’ Honor supplied.

‘No,’ David denied immediately.

Honor shook her head and told him truthfully, ‘That’s what Olivia’s going to think, David. The blame doesn’t all lie with you, though. Your father …’ She stopped.

‘Olivia is my daughter. I should have protected her from my father’s prejudices.’ David closed his eyes. ‘I shouldn’t burden you with all this.’

‘Of course you should,’ Honor told him immediately. ‘That’s part of what loving someone is all about … sharing … the bad as well as the good.’

Smiling she reached out and cupped his face and then very gently and slowly started to kiss him.

‘Mmm … more,’ David coaxed hopefully as he gathered her into his arms and started to kiss her back.

Jenny frowned over her shopping list. It seemed pathetically brief, but now, after all, she was only shopping for two. Joss had flown out to America to visit Jon’s aunt Ruth who was living there with her American husband, his last chance to do so before he started focussing on his school exams.

Joss and Ruth had always been particularly close and Jenny smiled as she thought about her aunt-in-law and her youngest son. Both of them were blessed with a special temperament, a serenity and wisdom that had a gentling effect on everyone they came in contact with.

The telephone started to ring and she went to answer it.

‘Jen, it’s me,’ she heard Jon saying. ‘Look, don’t wait for me for dinner tonight. David’s asked me to go up to Fitzburgh Place to see Lord Freddy. He’s got some business he wants to discuss with me.’