Brenda Novak - White Heat

The cab light went on when he opened the passenger door. He got something out of the jockey box, then started back.

Because she didn’t want him to catch her watching him, she climbed back into bed. Forget Nate! Obsessing about him was what had gotten her into trouble before.

She cringed as she remembered all the signals she must’ve misinterpreted to wind up in his bed, naked. The way he’d sometimes looked at her at the office, she’d assumed…well, she’d assumed too much, obviously. Without the experience most women had in dealing with men, she hadn’t known how to take their relationship from colleagues to lovers and had gone too far, too fast.

Getting into his bed had been her first mistake. Not getting out of it when he reacted with such surprise had been her second. And not leaving his house right after they’d made love had been her third. But by then she’d known deep inside that she’d have only the one night with him. So she’d stayed, secretly treasuring every moment.

The crushing disappointment that’d come in the morning—with his polite explanation of why he’d lost control and how sorry he was for not sending her home—still made her cringe.

God, what a fool! Why couldn’t she have salvaged her pride?

Because she’d been lonely too long. And because she’d let him mean too much to her. When she realized that feeling wasn’t mutual, she simply didn’t have the skills to shrug it off or act indifferent.

He’d taught her a good lesson, though. One most people learned in their teens, but better late than never…

At least she’d never make that mistake again. She’d demand more from any lover she took in the future.

But there were times she was tempted to lower her standards. Times like now, when she lay in bed, remembering Nate’s hands on her body and craving them there again.

Every Wednesday, Ethan called his entire church together for morning prayer. Then Bart and his guards took over for two hours with armory drills. In the summer, they met in the courtyard outside the Enlightenment Hall as the sun came up, like they were doing now. It wasn’t Wednesday, but the sudden disappearance of Courtney Sinclair had to be addressed. At Bartholomew’s urging, Ethan had called for a special prayer so he could handle the issue via public announcement. This would enable everyone to hear what he had to say on the matter. But he hated that this was the second time he’d been forced to convene a meeting for the sake of damage control within the past two months.

He could feel Bartholomew behind him, keeping silent watch, as always. Bart took his job as head of security very seriously. The way he’d supported Ethan after that fight with Courtney, how he’d hidden the body and then buried it, proved he could be trusted with anything.

Ethan had been lucky the day Bart had attended one of his first Introduction Meetings. Claiming she couldn’t live with his sexual dysfunction—which probably had more to do with his orientation than his impotence—Bart’s wife had recently left him. Days later, he’d closed his failing chiropractic practice. He’d been in the middle of a full-blown midlife crisis, had been searching for an anchor of some sort, a devotion that felt worthwhile, and Ethan had been there to offer him that. Bart was so grateful to have a purpose, to be valued that he’d become one of Ethan’s most loyal followers.

But he hadn’t tracked down Martha, and that grated on Ethan. He couldn’t abide the thought of a Covenant member leaving the group and then spouting off about him to the outside world. Martha was a Judas and would suffer God’s wrath, just as traitors like her deserved.

The other Spiritual Guides stood behind him, too, but Ethan wasn’t as completely sure of them as he was of Bartholomew. Some had been with him since college, but whether they stayed because of loyalty or self-interest, he couldn’t say. He protected himself by telling them only what he wanted them to hear.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t keep this particular situation between him and Bart, as he would’ve preferred. Harry Titherington knew he’d been with Courtney the night she went missing. Ethan had spent an hour trying to convince the entire group that she’d been alive when she left his apartment, but he wasn’t positive they all believed him. Especially Harry…

Head bowed, Ethan waited for the prayer to come to a close. It was beneath him to have to reason away doubts and accusations, but he had to put the rumors concerning Courtney to rest. He also had to prep his people so they’d know how to react if Courtney’s parents reappeared at the gate or, God forbid, sent the police. He wasn’t sure Paradise could tolerate another media onslaught, not on the heels of the botched stoning.

The sudden silence notified him that the prayer, said by one of the Spiritual Guides, was finally over.

“Thank you for your eloquence, Brother Whitehead,” he called out.

A resounding “Praise be to God” rang loud and clear in response.

“Yes, praise be to God,” Ethan said. “And now, before you go about your day, I have an issue of some importance to discuss.”

A ripple of expectation filtered through the crowd. The last time he’d said those words, he’d had to tell them that Sister Martha had escaped God’s justice and could not be found. As a defensive measure, he’d also had to exhort them to speak to no one about the incident, to pray that she could be caught before her evil tongue destroyed the work of God and to remember their covenants to put God’s work and glory above all else.

“Many of you celebrated with me when Sister Courtney Sinclair was saved from the cesspool of the outside world two short weeks ago. As you remember, because she was underage, we voted on whether or not we would take the risk associated with accepting her into our family.” In a private meeting before that, several of the Guides had voted against it, but he’d wanted her in his life and forced the issue. Now he was paying the price.

“We took a great deal into consideration,” he went on. “But, envisioning her with us after the world is cleansed of pride and iniquity, we took that risk and rejoiced at having reclaimed another lamb of God.” He changed the inflection of his voice. “Unfortunately, as sometimes happens, she has already lost her way.”

This time a groan sounded from the crowd and Ethan thought he heard someone mention Martha, but he ignored that and the disapproval he felt from the Brethren who hadn’t wanted him to admit Courtney in the first place, and talked over the noise. “She informed me of her decision to leave over the weekend. It was with a sad heart that I listened to the news. But I did not attempt to persuade her to stay. Not one so young. We can’t afford trouble with the authorities. They don’t understand us and those who don’t understand prefer to destroy.”

“They persecute and belittle!” someone cried.

“That they do,” Ethan responded. “Thus, I allowed her to make the choice on her own and then I escorted her to the gate that very night. Several of your Spiritual Guides saw me do it,” he added, even though, other than Bart and Harry, there wasn’t a soul who’d seen him with Courtney on Monday. Everything had happened in the pit and only the Brethren had direct access.

Murmuring arose. “I saw her go, Holy One.” “Me, too.” “How could she?” “Why would she do it?” “We loved her.” “We accepted her into our family.”

Slightly relieved by the response, he raised a hand to indicate silence. “Bartholomew tells me that many of you have expressed concern about some of the things she was saying before she made the decision to leave. I assure you, those were the words of Satan. He grabbed hold of her heart when it was at its most vulnerable, and he’ll grab hold of yours, too, if you do not watch and pray constantly.”