In CSICU, Carm stood by the bed holding Levi’s hand. His eyes were shut. But he must have heard their footsteps, because, with obvious effort, he opened them again and focused instantly in on James.
“Levi,” James said mildly. “See? I’m right here and I’m going nowhere.” Addie gasped and shot him a sharp look, but he kept his gaze on Levi as he softly added, “Rest now.”
Levi blinked a couple of times, as if to reassure himself that his old eyes and his drugged mind weren’t playing any tricks on him. Then, with a low, rough sound of pure satisfaction, he closed his eyes and didn’t open them again, though the three of them stood there for several more minutes. Finally, the nurse bustled over and whispered that it was time to go. They would be allowed back in for brief visits—no more than two of them at a time, please—for as long as Levi stayed in intensive care.
They filed back out to the waiting room, where Carmen went straight to Devin. She sagged against him. He gathered her in and stroked her hair as Addie told herself she was not, under any circumstances, going to sidle up close to James and hope that he might wrap those big arms around her.
James said, “I’ve got a room at the Marriott down the street. I figure we can take turns using it. For showers, naps, whatever.”
Carm beamed at him from her husband’s arms. “Great idea. Addie should go first. She looks dead on her feet.”
Addie sent her sister a quelling glance and asked James, “When did you have time to get a room at the Marriott?”
All twinkly blue eyes and easy charm, he coaxed, “Come on, don’t look so suspicious. I made a phone call when you two went in to see Levi. The Marriott had rooms available—you know, being a hotel and all? So I got us one.”
He’d done way more than she should have let him do and she needed to put an end to it. Immediately. “We have to talk.”
He frowned. “Now, Addie—”
“Go ahead,” said Carm with a shooing motion. “You two work it out. We’ll be right here.”
Addie so didn’t like the way Carm had shooed her—as if she and James had had some lovers’ spat they needed to resolve. But she could deal with her sister later. Now she and James had to get a few things straight.
She whirled and marched across the waiting room to a grouping of chairs along the other wall. When she got there, she dropped into one.
James took his sweet time following, but finally he sat down next to her. “What’s the problem now?”
She turned and met his beautiful eyes and said sincerely, “It’s enough—no, it’s too much, all you’ve done. And I thank you so much for everything. But my grandfather’s out of surgery now. You said yourself that you were only staying to see that he made it through all right. Well, he has. And Carm and Devin are here, to help me. You don’t need to stay anymore.”
He studied her face for several nerve-racking seconds. Then he shook his head. “I’ve reconsidered.”
Somehow she made herself ask him quietly, “Reconsidered what?”
“Levi wants me here. And he needs to have what he wants—at least until he’s out of the woods.”
“But he is out of the woods.”
“Addie. He’s almost eighty. He’s just been through major surgery. You know you want him relaxed and focused on getting well. You don’t want anything preying on his mind.”
Okay, that was true. She didn’t want PawPaw upset. But sometimes, well, people just didn’t get things the way they wanted them. “I can’t help it if he insists on lying to himself.” She blew out a hard breath. “Uh-uh. He needs to accept that he’s got it all wrong and get past his totally out-there assumption that you are the father of my baby. As long as you’re here, that’s not going to happen. As long as you’re here, he can tell himself his crazy-ass plan to marry us at gunpoint is working the same as it worked when he pulled it on Dev and Carmen.”
“So what if he tells himself his plan is working?”
She was gaping again. She’d been doing way too much of that recently. “What do you mean, so what? His plan is not working. It’s never going to work. You are not my baby’s daddy and PawPaw needs to learn to accept that.”
“And he will. When he’s ready. But he’s not ready now. All I’m saying is let me help. Let him believe what he needs to believe until he’s back on his feet.”
God. He was not only big and strong and kind and helpful, with that killer smile and those damn twinkly eyes. He not only looked good and smelled way too manly and tempting. He was also so calm and logical. And what he said actually seemed to make a bizarre kind of sense.
And she was so darn tired. She kept thinking of that room he’d taken at the Marriott. Of a shower and clean sheets and a few hours of much-needed sleep.
He leaned closer, filling her tipped-over world with his strength and his steadiness. “Come on, Addie.” His deep, smooth voice washed through her, so soothing, making her want to lean into him, to curl into a ball and cuddle up close. “Let me help you. I want to help you.”
“Why?”
The question seemed to hang in the charged air between them.
And then he actually answered it. “I like it, helping you. I honestly do. I like Levi and I want him to get well.”
“Even after what he did to you?”
James chuckled. “He’s a determined old guy. I admire that. I’m not crazy about his methods, but his intentions are good.”
She almost laughed. “What’s that they say about good intentions paving the road to hell?”
“Addie, lighten up.”
“You shouldn’t make excuses for him.”
“I’m not. And it’s not really all that complicated, or it doesn’t have to be. I’ll just hang around for a few days, help out however I can, until your grandfather’s better.”
“Define better.”
He dodged right on by that one. “Can’t we just play that by ear, see how he does?”
“I don’t...get what you get out of this. I really don’t. It’s not fair to you, to take advantage of you this way.”
His square jaw hardened. “Didn’t we already clear up the whole ‘taking advantage’ question when you finally let Walker and Rory help you out with the animals? No one is taking advantage of me. I’m doing what I want to do. And that is to be here and help out however I can. I like helping out.”
She really needed just to say it outright and she knew that she did. “You do get that you and me, that’s never going to happen, right? I’ve got a whole lot to deal with in my life right now, and a man is the last thing I need.”
He leaned even closer. Every nerve in her body went on red alert. “I do get that, Addie. Yes.” Something deep inside her ached with loss when he said that. Which was absurd. It was a simple fact and they needed to be on the same page about it. And then he smiled, so slow and sweet and tender. “Nothing is going to happen. Not unless you ask me real nice.”
Warmth slithered through her, followed immediately by annoyance. “Oh, very funny.”
“Was I funny?” he teased. “I didn’t mean to be funny...”
“This isn’t a joke.”
“And I wasn’t joking.” His voice was so serious. His eyes were not.
She decided she’d better just let it go. “Good, then. Hold that thought. And...well, you need to remember that I’m pregnant, James.” She thought of Brandon then, with a sharp ache of loss. Brandon, too thin, too pale, the light fading from his green eyes. She made herself put it right out there, blunt as you please. “I’m pregnant with my dead best friend’s baby.”
“I am very clear on that.” He took her hand. His was so warm and big and strong. It felt way too good and she should pull away.
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