Nancy Thompson - Out With The Old, In With The New

“God, I’m ruining everything—”

“You’re not,” says Alex. “We’ll reschedule for another time. Right now, we have more important matters to tend to.”

Rainey sits with me in the backseat and every so often she reaches out and squeezes my hand. The drive from Palm Beach is taking an eternity, as if I’m stuck in a surreal time warp. Rainey gave me a Valium before we left. I’m sure that’s why everything has a soft-focus, blunted feel. It would be good if we were stuck in a time warp. I wouldn’t have to face him.

Just when I’ve convinced myself this is a bad dream that will be over soon, Alex hisses something like, “That no-good, dirty, lying, son of a bitch,” and I’m jolted back to the here and now.

As Alex’s black Mercedes rolls over the endless black ribbon of Florida Turnpike, all I can think of is how Corbin lied to me.

To us.

To our family.

My forehead is pressed to the cool window. The car is eerily silent except for the rhythmic wrrrrrrrr of car wheels spinning over flat highway. Alex doesn’t turn on the radio. We all settle into a companionable silence. The headlights shining across the median hurt my eyes. I squint as another car speeds by. Thank goodness there’s not much traffic at this hour.

My eyes feel heavy, threaten to close. I’m so sleepy, but I don’t want to sleep, because if I do, the next time I open my eyes we’ll be back in Orlando. If I can only stay awake… It’s the Valium—and the wine and the hour—tempting me to drift…off.

“Where did you get the Valium?” I ask, not lifting my head from the window.

“I have a good doctor.”

This time I can’t distinguish if my silent tears fall because of the way the words good doctor stab at my heart, or because I’m thankful to have these women in my life.

A while later I startle awake to the sound of Rainey’s voice. “There could be a logical explanation.”

They think I’m asleep. I was asleep. Damn it, how long did I sleep? I shift my head ever so slightly until I can see Alex’s brown eyes looking at Rainey in the neon-green glow of the lighted rearview mirror.

My neck hurts, and I long to sit up and rub it, but I don’t move because if I do they’ll stop talking. I wait for one of them to say something, to reveal the logical explanation my life is depending on. There must be something obvious I’ve missed. Please, please enlighten me.

“Maybe he’s truly been called out on an emergency.”

Alex answers with dead silence. Her dark eyes look black as they alternately shift from the rearview mirror, to the road, back to the mirror. I get the creepy sensation that I’m stuck in a scene from a bizarre David Lynch movie. Especially when I hear Alex groan.

Or maybe it’s me.

Being on this side of the truth feels a lot different than I imagined before I dared let my mind venture into the what-ifs of the dark, lonely place inhabited by scorned wives. Speculating on Corbin’s infidelity was like standing atop a cliff overlooking a tumultuous ocean. Finding out is like falling headfirst and crashing into the waves and rocks below.

“Why doesn’t she just call his cell phone?” Rainey says.

“No. That’s the worst thing she could do. She was smart not to. If he’s not at the hospital and she calls him on the cell he’ll have time to concoct some cockamamie story to cover his ass. This way, she can get some answers.”

The unspoken words good answers or bad answers loom over me like henchmen.

Alex holds the steering wheel with her left hand and digs in her purse with the other until she pulls out her cell phone. She holds it up. “Rainey, take this and scroll through my phone numbers until you get Hal Washington.”

The Mercedes swerves a little. It shimmies as Alex returns to her lane.

“Hey, watch out. Both hands on the wheel.” Rainey takes the phone.

“That’s why I’m asking you to find the number and dial it for me.”

“Why are you calling this guy now? It’s three-thirty in the morning.”

“Believe me, Washington thrives at this hour.”

“What is he, a vampire?”

“Close. He’s a P.I. I’m going to get him to tail Corbin.”

Rainey leans forward and wraps her arms around the passenger headrest. “Shouldn’t you ask Kate if that’s what she wants before you hire a detective on her behalf? I mean, it’s a big deal. And it could be a little pricey.”

“Washington owes me a favor. Actually, several, but who’s counting? The sooner Kate knows for sure, the better.”

I sit up. The crick in my neck screams. “A P.I. could also prove whether Corbin was innocent. Right?”

There’s a beat of silence as Rainey’s head whips around and Alex’s eyes dart to find me in the rearview mirror. I’m not sure whether they’re surprised that I’m awake and listening to their scheming, or dumbfounded that I still harbor hope. I rub my neck waiting for them to answer me.

“I suppose,” says Alex. “Whatever he’s up to, Washington will find out. So yes, if Corbin’s taking a midnight flower-arranging class, Washington will let you know. Can I call him?”

The moment of truth. My stomach clenches. Do I really want to know? I’m not sure, but one thing I do know is I can’t go on not knowing. “Sure.”

Rainey lets go of the headrest and settles into the backseat. She punches in the phone number. “Here, it’s ringing.” She hands the phone to Alex.

I think Rainey and I are holding our breath in the silent seconds before Alex starts talking. I’m looking out the window again so I can’t see her. We roll past a series of lighted billboards advertising the virtues of Yeehaw Junction, the turnpike exit before Kissimmee. We’re twenty minutes or so outside of Orlando. My stomach accelerates from clenching to pitching as I realize the moment of truth is nearly staring me in the face.

What next? If I go home and he’s not there, I’ll have to explain to the babysitter why I’m back.

Oh God, she’ll know.

I can’t go to the hospital. It would be humiliating to walk in and ask if they know the whereabouts of my husband in the wee hours of a Saturday morning.

Alex holds the cell phone away from her. “Kate, can you meet with Hal at ten in the morning?”

“Okay.”

“Good. Ten it is. My office. See you then.”

I glance at my watch and realize that’s only a few hours from now.

Alex hangs up and tosses the phone onto the passenger seat. “What do you want to do when we get into Orlando?”

Go to Disney World? Shop the designer outlet malls? Catch my husband in bed with another woman? Oh, the endless possibilities. “I don’t know what I want to do. I just know what I can’t do. I can’t go home, and I can’t go to the hospital.”

Rainey pats my hand.

“But we need to see if Corbin’s at home,” says Alex. “Chances are—now bear with me, this is worst-case scenario, chances are if he’s gone off with someone, he’s not going to be back yet.”

“I don’t know,” says Rainey. “Don’t you think he’d try to sneak back in and get rid of the sitter before Caitlin wakes up? Because Caitlin will tell Mommy.”

“That’s a good point,” says Alex. “It should be interesting to see if he tells you he brought in the sitter. Would be a good way to see if he’s forthcoming with information. If he tells you up front, then maybe he’ll have a logical explanation to go along with it.”

I nod. A crazy mixture of hope and fear meld inside me.

“It’ll be a good gauge to see what you’re dealing with,” Rainey says.

Alex steers the car off the turnpike, pays the toll and merges onto Interstate Four. “Okay, let’s make a plan.”

The house sleeps dark and quiet. Just as it should in the five o’clock Saturday morning dusk. The only thing out of place is the red Honda Civic parked in the driveway behind my garaged Lexus.