Paullina Simons - A Beggar’s Kingdom

He does it by trying to forget that Fabian exists, though that’s less easy than it sounds, what with the barrage of winded wheezing commands spitting forth from the man’s foaming mouth as he sits in the nearby chair and directs Julian—as if Julian has no idea what to do on his own.

Why are you standing there? Kiss her. You’re in a pantomime of love, Fabian says. So pantomime.

They kneel on the bed. Julian cups Mallory’s face. It’s not a pantomime, he whispers to his maid and his princess, as he kisses her, kisses her until her nipples harden and he hardens and everything else on her softens.

Fondle her.

Pull on her nipples until she moans.

Tug on her until she squirms.

Lay her down, pour some wine on her.

Open her, eat her pussy.

I didn’t tell you to talk to her, what did you say to her?

Do you like that, Mallory?

Yes, sire.

Do not ask her what she wants or what she likes, you do what I want, you do what I like. Turn her over. Get behind her. Grab her, so she stops moving. Pull out all the way, so I can see. Now thrust all the way in. Tell her to hold on to the headboard if she needs to.

Hold on to the headboard, Mallory.

The orders are barked only to Julian. But Julian knows, Fabian is not barking. He is begging. He’s beseeching Julian to be his proxy with the maiden. All things he cannot do himself, Fabian does through Julian. But Fabian’s shallow panting is so distressing that at one point, Julian lies flat on top of Mallory, even though his instructions were expressly not to. He stops moving and covers her body with his to shield her from the fat lord’s jealous gaze. Easing one arm under her, Julian slows between her hips and presses his face against her cheek, to cover her ear. It’s going to be okay . Are you okay?

I’m fine. She pats his back. It’s not me he covets, sire. It’s you and your able-bodied youth. He’s not looking at me. He’s watching you. It’s your strong legs he desires, and your arms that hold your weight and hold mine. Your hard stomach. Your hard everything.

They kiss in a prolonged moan as if they are real lovers.

I’d like to kill him , Julian says.

No, no, not until we separate the fool from his money , says Mallory.

Julian laughs, Fabian shouts, Julian loses his rhythm, and rhythm is so important in love.

Stand on the floor, have her kneel in front of you. Tell her to suck your cock, but do not discharge in her mouth. So what if the floor is hard. I want to see her on the hard floor. She is getting two crowns from me. She can take a little discomfort in her knees for two crowns, can’t she? Because you’re about to give her more discomfort than that. Tell her to get on her hands and knees. Yes, right on the floor.

Julian is in his own bed when he hears a soft tap. Mallory steps in, dressed in her morning clothes, gray apron, black skirt.

“Am I disturbing you, sire?” Her voice is a whisper.

“No.” He sits up.

The candles have been blown out, the room is dark. Uncertainly she closes the door behind her.

“I think the lord was pleased.”

“And that is what I was aiming for. To please him .”

Even in the night, he sees her blushing face. “I just wanted to say thank you for tonight.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’m sorry to have put you in such a spot. He’s a peculiar man, I grant you, but he is generous, and very little is required of me.”

“And thank you for that.”

She stammers. “I meant to say that usually not very much is required of me.”

“What about the other night with Margrave?”

“Yes, we do that sometimes if the lord wishes it, lie together. She is my friend.” Mallory bobs her head. “Well, a friend and an enemy.”

“Where I come from, we call that a frenemy.”

Mallory smiles. “What a good word. Is it Welsh? Frenemy. I’ll remember that.” She doesn’t leave. She takes a step to his bedside table. In her hands is a decanter and a plate. “I brought you a piece of pie. Margrave mentioned the other day that you liked apple pie and there was hardly any left after supper. I saved you a piece and some wine if you’re thirsty.”

“It’s after four in the morning. Leave it. I’ll have it for breakfast.”

She sets it by his bed.

He waits.

“I’m so tired, sire,” Mallory whispers.

Julian swings open the covers.

She takes off her clothes, folds them, stacks them neatly in the corner, and climbs into bed with him. He spoons her, draws the quilt over them, and covers her with his arm.

“I’m worried about that man, Mallory,” Julian said. “I can’t help it. I don’t know if you are safe with him.”

“Oh, sire,” she coos. “You are so kind-hearted. Trust me, you don’t have to worry about him.”

She nestles against him, milling into him a little, murmuring something sexy and inaudible. Julian starts to say something, but she is already asleep. He lies awake cradling her, running his fingers up and down her arm, remembering how much Josephine had loved falling asleep like this back in L.A., in another life. They would deplete themselves there, too, and fall into a stupor at the break of dawn. What sweet days they were before the demon that lay in wait came for them. What warm days of syrupy, salty bliss, of ocean water, of lilies and superhighways. That wasn’t shadowboxing, that wasn’t a shadowlife. That was real.

Or is this real?

Julian clutches the sleeping girl to him, embraces her in a brothel built into the wall of a palace that’s about to crumble and be dismantled for marble. Josephine, Mia, Mary, Mallory , he whispers. I really believed our time had run out, even as I continued to search for you in the London of my nightmares—or is it the London of my dreams? You are my love, the heat of my heart, raising me in flames above my mundane days and dropping me naked at your feet. Where will all this lead us? Where will all this end? I wish I knew. I wish I could see the future. Because sometimes, even when we are like this, it feels to me that you and I are nothing but winged phantoms, Josephine.

THE FOLLOWING EVENING MALLORY’S AT HIS DOOR AGAIN. “The lord is back.”

“He’s here every night now?” Julian says. “Doesn’t he have some government business to attend to? A bill to veto? A bishop to consecrate? A family of his own, perhaps? You’d think a man of his, um, stature had some other hobbies.”

“He’s a widower,” Mallory says. “He works late, and to unwind he comes here to spend a little time with me. I offered him a double with me and Marg. But all he wants is you and me.”

That’s all I want, too. You and me. Quietly Julian sits. His body throbs for her. Though not on these terms! he pretends to justify to himself.

Even that’s a lie.

To his marrow, Julian is relieved that the girl in his hands is real. That someone other than him sees Julian make love to her and says, yes! I see her. She is under him, and she is alive. Her arms are around his back. She wraps her legs around him. His hands grip her hips. She bears his weight. She lives. She is not a hallucination. She is not his imagination.

Look, I, the vile creature, see it, too.

The pearls are cast before swine, yes, but they are pearls, and they are cast.

Once again Fabian asks Julian for all sorts of things, and Julian complies. With every fevered caress, Mallory grows more vivid, Fabian more dim, and the silver piles up on the table next to the wine.