Juan Moisés De La Serna - A Touch Of Happiness

- I don’t know if my parents would help me if I have the baby, she said worrie-dly.

-Parents are usually quite stubborn and insist on imposing their way of thin-king on us, but in the end you are the one who must live your life and if you decide to raise they child they must accept it, no matter how hard it is for them - I said putting a hand on her shoulder.

-That’s easy to say, by the way, is it true that it changes your life?

- What changes your life? I asked before answering the question she made in a whisper.

-After delivery, is it true that afterwards you don’t feel anything when you are doing it?

-No, who told you that? I asked surprised.

-I don’t know, in school they say since everything changes, what is under also changes and then you feel nothing.

-No way, it feels the same -I said in a reassuring tone.

- And don’t the breasts fall? She asked me again embarrassed.

-That’s a matter of age, you’ll see when you reach your twenties or thirties, whether you like it or not you’re going to have to wear a bra if you want to keep them up.

-But they say that breastfeeding make them fall earlier.

-There is nothing wrong with that, believe me, as I said, for all of us, I repeat, all of us , the time comes when they don’t stand up anymore, it depends on each person if it will be earlier or later, for some it may be while raising child, others might be because of wearing too tight bras or simply because of the pass of time.

- Does it hurts as much as you see in movies? She asked uneasily.

- The moment of delivery? I asked to be sure of her doubt.

-Yes she answered while nodding.

-Well, it hurts a lot, but that’s what the child birth exercises are for , you are been taught how to dilate and breathe at the same time, then it’s just a matter of effort and a lot of pushing.

-But does it hurts? she insisted in this question.

-It hurts a lot, but you later forget about it, I said fondly.

- How do you forget? She asked surprised.

-Yes, of course, my gynaecologist explained that before the moment of con-tractions, the brain has a mechanism of erasing those painful memories, be-cause if this wasn’t the case, no one would ever have more than one child as a result of the bad memory that moment gives but this is not like this.

-Well, I don’t even know if I want to have my first child, so I don’t consider having another, she said thoughtfully.

-Don’t hurry, everything will come if you and your partner want it, I said with a sincere smile.

-But …, what if he leaves me? What am I going to do? What if my parents don’t like this and reject me? How am I going to live? She asked scared.

- You see, first you have to decide whether telling your parents or not, make them understand the situation, and that they give you their support as their obligation as parents.

Then talk to your partner, who will surely be excited to know that you will ha-ve his child. But as always you have to respect his freedom, if he decides to leave you don’t worry, it will be a sign that he doesn’t deserve you- I said cal-mly.

-I don’t know, if you say so, and you have already gone through this, it seems fine by me, although what worries me the most is that everyone noticed and that I cannot disguise it with big clothes.

-You don’t need to hide it, it is not something you should be ashamed of, it is a great blessing that you have received, to be able to participate in the miracle of creation - I said with joy seeing that my words made an effect on that girl who was now calm.

On my way after leaving behind that nice woman with her child who played football in the park, I was repeating to myself everything she had told me, es-pecially that part I liked that I was a contribution to the task of creation, I had not seen it this way before.

That woman, without knowing me, had solved many of my doubts about preg-nancy and the effects on my body, even though I was still looking at my body to be too flat to be able to have a child.

I have been used to seeing well-formed women with big breasts feed those hu-ge babies, how would such a baby fit inside of me ? I don’t have the conditions of having a baby.

Despite what that lady had just told me, I panicked, but I didn’t listen to it, I went back home, went to the kitchen where my mother was preparing dinner and said,

-Mum, I have a good and a bad news, which one do you want first?

She had already heard me speak to her that way before and did not pay much attention to me and after a moment of silence that seemed eternal, I told her,

-I’m pregnant.

She heard this and what she had in her hand fell off making a big noise on the plate. That scared me, because I thought that my mother could hit me or scold me, I was scared so I took a step back, but instead, she approached me with a big smile, hugged me and said,

- My little girl, who has already become a woman, how come I didn’t realise that you have grown so fast?

I was still feeling insecure about the situation, because I wasn’t sure if this was a sign that she agreed with what I said or she felt sorry for my situation, so I asked her,

- Aren’t you angry?

-No, not at all, my girl, she said, kissing my forehead.

I returned a big hug, feeling calmer now, still afraid of the future ahead of me, I didn’t even know if my partner was going to accept what I had inside, but now I was sure that I had the support of my mother.

-Let me be the one to tell your father tonight during dinner- she said in a soft voice.

-Is it necessary? I asked uneasily, looking her in the eyes.

-Don’t worry ,I’ll be delicate when I mention it -she answered winking at me.

I was much more relieved after telling my mum, although I had not been too subtle but I preferred to be blunt because of the importance of the topic.

I went to my room, undressed to change and took the opportunity to look at myself in the mirror; I looked at myself from the side and did not notice anything, I placed my hand on my stomach, trying to figure out where that small being was but I didn’t feel anything.

I took a cushion and put it on my belly, then I put on a blouse and I looked at myself again in the mirror, I didn’t like that silhouette, it made me look fat and I’m sure it would weigh too much.

I had always measured my eating, avoided fats and bread so as not to get fat, and now my figure was going to change so monstrously and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

I’m sure when this advances I will not be able to practice as much sport as I like, run in the park or to do an hour of static bicycle; and when the doctors send me absolute rest in bed, I will get much fatter, besides that it is very bo-ring.

Now I remember I have not said anything to my mother about who the father was, she had assumed that I had a stable partner and that it was his, although I did not want to contradict her at any point I will have to tell her the truth.

This was strange, I felt guilty for having something inside me that no one had prepared me for, when I got the loving acceptance of my mother, she had made me stay calm. I finished dressing up and I went to the dinning and when I fi-nished my dad said

-Hello to the whole family, you must know that today I am a lucky man.

- Why do you say that? my mother asked, surprised at his joy.

-You should see the lottery man, he was plethoric, he guaranteed that today he felt happy, and that this could be a sign that he was going to distribute a prize so I bought him two numbers.

-Two for what? I asked with a smile.

- One for your mother and one for the home.

-For the home? I asked, surprised.

-It spends as much as your mother, with all the bills we have to pay, he said, nodding and guiding my mother’s eye.