Joanna Wayne - Bravo, Tango, Cowboy

It was still a hard time, all but unbearable on nights like this, with the sound of that voice on the phone echoing through her senses.

Keep talking, Alonsa. Get through this. You should be able to talk of it without falling completely apart. It’s been two years.

Her mind fixated on the events of that heartbreaking day, and she found small solace in remembering her daughter’s enthusiasm and laughter. “Lucy loved all the animals, but the sea lions were her favorite. It was nearing two when I told her we needed to go back to Merlee’s. She begged to see the sea lions one more time. I gave in, of course.”

If she hadn’t…No. Going over the ifs didn’t help. The counselor had worked for months to get her to move beyond that and the personal recriminations. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“While we were watching the sea lion antics, a large school group arrived and we were inundated by first and second graders. Someone pushed someone and a fight broke out. A little girl was shoved to the ground and started wailing. I went to help her up while the teachers stopped the fight. When I looked for Lucy, she wasn’t there.

“I wasn’t worried when I first lost sight of her, but then after minutes passed and I couldn’t locate her among the children, I started to panic.” Alonsa’s voice grew shaky.

Hawk stood and rounded the table, resting his hands on her shoulders. “Maybe tonight’s not the best time for this. Why don’t you get some rest, and I’ll come back tomorrow morning?”

“I’m okay.” His touch and sympathy were disconcerting in the quiet kitchen. “Do you have children, Hawk?”

“No. I was married for a while once, but no kids. I’m sure I can’t begin to understand what you’re going though.”

Yet he was here and a good listener. Or else the pain was just so overwhelming tonight she had to have the release of talking about it.

“I haven’t seen my daughter since that day at the zoo. All I get is the phone calls, the torment of her voice asking for me when I can’t go to her.”

“Surely the investigation uncovered some leads.”

“None that produced results.”

“Exactly what does the recorded voice say when you get the phone calls?”

“It’s a young girl’s voice. All she says is ‘Mommy’ and then there’s a click and the call disconnects. Craig doubts that it’s Lucy’s voice. He thinks it’s more likely some sick pervert who heard about the case at the time and gets his kicks torturing me.”

“Who’s Craig?”

“Craig Dalliers, the FBI agent who’s heading up the kidnapping investigation. He’s been on the case almost since the beginning.”

“Who conducted the initial search for Lucy, the local police or the FBI?”

“Both. The police started the process, but the FBI took over as soon as they got clearance. My husband Todd was an FBI agent killed in the line of duty.”

“I didn’t realize that.”

“How could you know?” Alonsa asked. “We’ve barely met.”

Yet here she was pouring out her soul to him in her kitchen. She was still wearing the blue cocktail dress she’d pulled from the back of her closet. He was in his tux. The bizarreness of the situation struck her and she wondered what she’d been thinking to invite him in when he’d driven her home. Still, she gave him the details of the search as succinctly as possible.

Hawk stepped away and started to pace. “What’s going on with the search now?”

“The FBI has assured me the case is still active.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“I’m not sure. I haven’t had an update in over three months.”

“Do they think the kidnapping was a revenge crime related to someone your husband arrested?”

“They did at first. Now Craig believes it was probably random.”

“What do you think?”

“I trust Craig’s judgment. I have no reason not to. He worked with Todd on a daily basis. Only…”

Only Craig, and the agents he’d assigned to help with the case, hadn’t found Lucy. The growing doubts she’d tried to deny crowded her mind. Craig had his faults, especially in the personal morals department, but he was a capable agent. Even Todd admitted that.

Hawk stopped pacing and straddled a chair next to hers. “I’d like to talk to the agent heading up the investigation.”

“Why?”

“Sometimes a fresh mind and viewpoint can help.”

“I wish I believed that, but there’s nothing to view.”

“No one disappears without a trace, Alonsa.”

But Lucy had. If there was a lead, the FBI would have found it. Having Hawk talk to Craig wouldn’t change anything and would likely just aggravate Craig and stop him from assigning the case to a top agent.

“I’m sorry, but the FBI is handling the case and I don’t see how your talking to them can possibly help.”

“It can’t hurt. A new person can spot mistakes a lot faster than the guy who’s made them.”

The comment provoked her. Hawk only knew the little she’d told him. He hadn’t been here through the months of anguish, hadn’t gone through the agony of building up hope with every minuscule lead only to have it blow up in her face. He didn’t have a clue how deeply involved Craig and his team had been in the case.

She tapped her fingers on the table’s edge. “Why would you assume they’ve made mistakes?”

“They haven’t found your daughter.”

“And you think you can?”

“Yeah. I do.”

This discussion had crossed a dozen lines she hadn’t seen coming. Did this man she barely knew really expect her to hire him to search for Lucy? A dull throb started at the back of her skull. Her stomach rolled.

The whole idea was ludicrous. Then again, what did she have to lose, other than her sanity, if she gathered hope again only to have it dissolve into emptiness? Or if she failed to give Brandon any kind of normal life because she was caught up in a revived investigation that would tear her apart on a daily basis.

And then there were the financial considerations. Hawk worked for Cutter and she was certain their services didn’t come cheap. A private investigation would require money she didn’t have because she’d already spent a large portion of Todd’s insurance on traveling the country that first year, putting up flyers and appearing on every TV station and talk-radio program that would let her plead for information about her missing child.

Yet if there was even a ghost of a chance…

She raised her eyes and met Hawk’s dark penetrating gaze. Something seemed to give way, as if the cords holding her together were beginning to fray.

“Exactly what are you suggesting, Hawk?”

“That I conduct my own investigation into Lucy’s disappearance. That you give me full access to any and all information you have or can get from the FBI. That you work with me and answer every question honestly. That you have a little faith in my ability.”

“And if you don’t find her?”

“You’ll be no worse off than you are now.”

And if he succeeded, she’d have Lucy home again. Unless…The possibilities swelled inside her and her breath burned as if she were inhaling pure acid. They’d found no trace of Lucy, but that had let her maintain the hope that Lucy was alive. What if she wasn’t? What if she’d died at the hands of some pervert? Could Alonsa bear knowing the certainty of that?

Hawk reached across the space between them and took her hands in his. “I realize you know nothing about me, Alonsa, that you have no reason to trust me, but you can talk to Cutter. He’ll vouch that I have a talent for smoking out facts where none seem to exist. I’m not bragging. It’s just how it is.”

Not bragging. Not arrogant. Just sure of himself. It went with the Special Ops territory, she suspected. It was his reason for being so quick to want to jump into this that she couldn’t decipher. And there was still the cost.