Leigh Bale - The Forest Ranger's Child

“I’ll make out fine with what’s there, Dad.” Even if she had to wash the clothes on her back every night, she would not ask her father for another single thing other than food. She remembered she had some oversize T-shirts in one of her dresser drawers and would wear them.

He cleared his throat. “We’ll drive into Reno for some shopping. Maybe on Friday, after you’ve had a couple of days to rest.”

“I don’t want to put you out.”

“You’ve got to have clothes.” His stubborn tone sounded final.

She angled her body to face him and reached out to briefly touch his arm. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t know where else to go. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently, but I can’t. I can only apologize and move forward. Please believe me when I say I’ve changed.”

He blinked and licked his lips. “Well, I suppose you showed good judgment in coming home at least. I’m glad I’m good for something.”

Lily tensed. “Don’t say that, Dad. You’re the best horseman I’ve ever met.”

He snorted. “Just not much of a father.”

“That’s not true. You’re my father. And if I wished you away, I’d have to wish myself away because I’m a part of you and Mom. And I won’t do that, no matter how bad things get.”

“Sometimes we bring hardships on ourselves, girl. It’s no one’s fault but our own.”

“Dad, I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a woman. And you’re right. I’ve done a lot of things I regret. But now I want to start fresh. All I’m asking is for you to help me do that. I won’t let you down again.”

He looked startled but didn’t comment. She didn’t want to argue with him, not about this. She knew her father to be a man of his word. And once he told her he’d help her, she knew he meant it. But he obviously didn’t like the circumstances. Neither did she.

He coughed, a deep hacking sound.

“Do you have a cold?” she asked.

“Something like that. It’s getting better now.”

As they passed through Emerald Valley, Lily tensed, the memory of the flood rushing through her with icy fingers. But Dad didn’t take the normal route. Instead, they passed over the river on a tall Bailey bridge farther downstream.

“When did they put this up?” she asked.

“Two weeks ago. With all the flooding we’ve been having, the ranger made some calls. The governor contacted the Army Corps of Engineers, who brought in men to build several bridges like this so we ranchers have a safe way in and out of the valley. Even the school bus takes this route. You just didn’t know about it.”

“Well, I do now.” And it’d be a long time before she willingly drove through the area where she’d been caught in the flash flood.

Once they passed the flood zone, she relaxed and took a moment to study Dad more closely. The pasty, leathered skin and deep creases around his eyes. The calloused hands and gray hair. She’d been gone a long time. Too long. When had her father gotten so old?

“I reckon you’re planning to keep the baby, right?” he asked.

Hearing her own question voiced out loud made her pause. “I’m thinking of giving her up for adoption once she’s born.”

“It’s a girl?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m glad you decided not to get rid of her.”

The thought made Lily stare. She could never do such a thing. She just couldn’t. “Abortion was never an option for me.”

“Harrumph. At least your mother and I taught you some good things, then.”

A bristle of resentment shivered up her spine, but she realized what he said was true. She just didn’t want to argue with him anymore. She wanted peace. “Yes, you did, Daddy. But more than that, I couldn’t do such a thing. A couple of years ago, I worked with a woman who was adopted and she loved her parents.”

His bushy eyebrows lifted. “Why don’t you want to raise the kid yourself?”

The truck hit a pothole and Lily gripped the arm rest tight. “I don’t have a father for my baby and I think kids deserve two parents, if possible. So I figured adoption was the best choice.”

“Where is the dad?” Dad’s voice rose slightly, but she could tell he was doing an admirable job of controlling his voracious temper.

“He…he’s gone. And I wouldn’t go back to him even if he asked me to.”

“Why not? He was good enough to father your child. Wasn’t he good enough to be a husband?”

Heat flushed her cheeks. She didn’t want to tell Dad about the abuse she’d suffered at Tommy’s hands, or that he was already married with children. Knowing Dad’s temper, he might hunt down Tommy and try to kill him. “No, Dad, he’s not. I just need a safe place to stay until the baby’s born.”

“Well, I suppose I can offer you that.”

Again, a blaze of gratitude speared her heart. In spite of what she’d done, the Lord had brought her safely home. He’d placed good people in her path to help her return. “Thanks, Dad.”

He cleared his voice but didn’t speak. How she wished he’d say something kind to her. Even that he loved her. When he’d hugged her two days ago in the clinic, it’d been the happiest—and saddest—day of her life.

“I can’t say I like the idea of giving my own grandbaby away to strangers,” he said.

“I still have time to think it over. It’s not final.”

“I don’t know what there is to think over. It doesn’t sit right with me to give away one of our own family members.”

“I just want to do what’s right for this child. I’m not abandoning her. I’m thinking about her future.”

“We don’t throw family away.”

Was that what Lily was doing if she gave her baby up for adoption? Throwing her child away?

No, Dad didn’t understand. Lily wanted her baby to be happy. It’d be so easy for her to keep the baby, but she wanted to do what the Lord desired. And because Lily had messed up her life so much, she wasn’t sure at all that she was the best mother for her child.

Taking a deep breath, Lily let it go. Coming home wasn’t going to be easy. She didn’t want to be forced into doing something she didn’t feel was right, yet she didn’t want to argue with Dad, either. Thankfully they didn’t need to deal with the issue today.

Chapter Four

As Dad and Lily pulled into the yard at Emerald Ranch, a black-and-white dog trotted from the barn to greet them with several loud barks. Lily looked around with interest. Everything appeared the same, except a long stable had been erected near the corrals. And the place had a slightly disorderly appearance in upkeep. A few rails had fallen off one of the fences and the gate hung on its hinges. The enormous red barn sat off to one side, needing a fresh coat of paint. So did the white house. Never in all her growing-up years had Dad ever let the blue trim reach the point of peeling.

No vegetable garden had been quartered off at the side of the house and furrowed for planting. It wasn’t too late to get some seeds in the ground and Lily made a mental note to take care of that soon. Her mouth watered at the thought of homegrown tomatoes and yellow crookneck squash. She didn’t say anything, but couldn’t help wondering why Dad had let the place fall into disrepair.

Corrals surrounded the barn for working horses, all empty except two. A number of pretty mares and younger colts lifted their heads from a trough of hay long enough to blink at them before going back to feeding. Where was all the livestock Dad used to have around the place? The cows, horses, pigs and chickens?

He parked the truck beside the stable and got out, moving with less agility than she remembered.

“Hi, there, Beans.” He ruffled the dog’s ears and coughed again.

His boot heels tapped against the wooden porch. White wicker chairs sat angled to one side with a small table to rest glasses of lemonade in the evening. Lily remembered sitting here almost every day when she’d been young. Now, the chairs needed a fresh coat of paint and new cushions.