Judy Baer - Million Dollar Dilemma

“The lottery, of course!”

“The lottery?” I echoed, feeling more stupid by the second.

By then Cricket was in a world of her own doing some sort of silly dance step around the perimeter of the room singing “New York, New York.” Cricket is a terrible singer, but I did figure out that she was chirping about the Big Apple. She stopped long enough to grab my hands and twirl me around in a circle. “The Power-ball! Cassia, haven’t you been watching the billboards or listening to the radio?”

“I’ve been doing a lot around the apartment,” I admitted. “Winslow and I have had a lot of walks….”

She finally stopped what she was doing and looked straight into my eyes. “Cassia, remember those tickets we bought? One of them was the winning number. We’re all millionaires.”

“I didn’t buy any tickets!”

Grandpa would do backflips in his grave if he thought I’d been involved in any kind of gambling. Oh, Grandpa wouldn’t have liked this at all.

“Of course you bought tickets. What do you think you put five dollars into the envelope in my desk for?”

“Somebody was having a baby or a birthday or…”

Stella’s face registered astonishment. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“About what?”

Cricket’s eyes grew large. “She really doesn’t know! Tell her about the pool, Stella.”

“The last Friday of every month we all put five bucks into the pool, and I buy lottery tickets for the Powerball. We’ve been doing it for ages. It’s been just for fun, but this weekend…” Stella could hardly continue. “We won!” Understanding dawned in Stella’s beautiful blue eyes. “And you thought you were putting money toward a baby gift?”

I nodded dumbly. I had a very bad feeling rising in my chest.

“No one had a baby, Cassia. The money you put in the envelope on Friday was for lottery tickets.”

“But it’s always for someone’s retirement or wedding or…”

“Except on the last Friday of every month.”

“But I’ve never been here on a ‘last Friday.’”

“That’s why you didn’t know. That’s the day we buy lottery tickets.”

“I wouldn’t have put money in that envelope if I’d known it was for that.” I could see Grandpa, at warp speed, spinning in his grave.

“Too late now,” Stella said. “It’s yours.” She reached for a sheet of paper and thrust it into my hands. “On Saturday morning I pick up the money and buy the tickets. I photocopied all the tickets onto a sheet for you, just like I do for everyone else. I faxed them to you. Everyone knows to check on their numbers. And Saturday night we won!”

“But I didn’t do anything,” I protested. Including hooking up the fax machine that annoys me so much. “This is all a misunderstanding.”

“Of course you did something. Everyone who puts money into the kitty shares equally in the win.”

“Well, I can’t take it. The rest of you can split it. Have a nice dinner or something. On me.” Cricket’s eyes grew so round I thought they would pop right out of her head. Frantically she gave me the signal to zip my mouth.

“It isn’t going to work that way.”

“I don’t want it. Give me my five dollars back and we’ll pretend this never happened.” I felt panic rising in my gut. I was an innocent babe where money was concerned. Grandpa had seen to that.

“Are you nuts?” Stella’s ice-blue eyes were wide with astonishment. “This is the deal, Cassia. Anybody who puts money in the pot shares in the winnings. I suppose we never really thought anything big would come of this, but now that it has, rules are rules. You have to take it.”

“She’s in shock—pay no attention to her,” Cricket babbled. “You can’t expect to get anything sensible out of her right now. Give her some time to get used to this.”

“I don’t need time,” I pleaded, my stomach sick. “You take it. Giving money to me is like shipping snow to Antarctica! I don’t need it!”

“Where do you live, Cassia?” Stella demanded. “An apartment somewhere, right?”

“Yes, but…”

“How many bedrooms do you have? One or two?”

“One, but it’s what I can afford….” I snapped my mouth shut, seeing the point Stella was trying to make and not wanting to help her make it.

“And what about that dog?”

“Winslow? What about him?”

“Does he get to be outside and play?”

“When I can take him. We go to the park.”

“Wouldn’t you like a fenced-in yard for him?”

“Of course, but…”

“And another bedroom or two so you could move around?”

“Yes, but…”

“And where do you give your money?”

“Tithing, mostly. The rest I live on.”

“Tithing, huh? Isn’t that like ten percent of your income? And didn’t you say something about going back to school to finish a master’s program?”

“Yes…” My suspicious meter was suddenly flailing.

“Here’s a chance to give much more than the ten percent of the pittance you earn here.”

“Of course, but I don’t believe in the lottery. It’s like, like…like ill-gotten gains. Do you know how many families are hurt by gambling?”

As I spoke, Bob yelled in the background, “Whaddayamean it’s too late to place that bet? Do you know who you’re talking to here?”

“Then I’m glad you did win a portion of this money,” Cricket concluded earnestly. “Because you, at least, will handle it properly.”

“I really don’t know what I’d do with a million dollars, Stella. You’re sure I can’t give it back? I wish my grandfather were here….”

“A million dollars?”

Something in Stella’s voice was so odd that I looked up at her. She was staring at me in amazement and the start of a smile played around her lips. “You aren’t going to get a million dollars, Cassia.”

“I’m not?” Good news at last. I wished Cricket would quit smirking at me. She was not helping my mental state.

“Cassia,” Stella said gently, “the jackpot was almost one hundred and eighty-five million dollars. Your share is…” She held up a slip of paper on which she’d done her own math earlier. “This.”

On the paper was written “$20,555,000.00.” Over twenty million dollars.

A rushing filled my ears as blood raced to my head. I reached for the desk just as my kneecaps liquefied.

“You’ll get used to the idea,” Ed assured me as he jumped down from his desk. “But I got used to the idea in a minute or two.” He stabbed his fist into the air. “Vacation time. Look out, fishies! Lake cabin, here I come!” He came to his senses for a moment. “Oh, man, I’d better look at boats right away. Maybe a cabin cruiser.” He darted for his phone.

“Who’d waste money on fishing when you can travel?” Betty said. “I’m going to go around the world. I wonder which direction I should go first—around the equator or over the poles?”

As we were talking, Paranoid Paula sat at her desk writing furiously while the others bounced frenetically from one dream to another.

“What are you doing?” I asked, shakiness in my voice. This was too surreal for me.

“Writing my will.” Paula paused to lick the tip of her pencil and began to write again. “If I’m going to be a multimillionaire, I don’t want that lazy, no-good son-in-law of mine to have a dime. Why, if I were hit by a bus in the parking lot on my way home today, he’d quit his job, put his feet up and never move again except to change the batteries in the remote.”

I felt tremors running through my body, and my hands shook as I put them to my cheeks. My nerve endings were flailing like a downed electrical cable, blue fire shooting from the tips of the exposed wire.