Joanna Neil - Love Islands - Summer Kisses

But she’d never got over the guilt attached to leaving Nathan. She’d never got over the fact she didn’t have the guts to say goodbye to Charlie; one tear from him would have been the end of her and she would never have made it onto that plane.

She was lucky. She’d had a good outcome and for that she was so grateful. But it hadn’t been guaranteed. The prospect of deteriorating and forcing Nathan and Charlie to be by her side had been unthinkable.

And, even though she had a barrel-load of regrets, if she had her time over she would still get on that plane. She would still walk away to face the cancer on her own.

Except she hadn’t really been on her own. She’d had her mum in Australia and then, even though it wasn’t what people thought, she’d had Darius too.

It could barely be called a romance. There might have been a few kisses exchanged but it had been entirely different from the relationship she’d had with Nathan. There had never been the passion, the deep underlying attraction. It had almost been like a mutual support society. At times he had been a shoulder to cry on. And during her surgery and renal cancer treatment that was exactly what she’d needed.

Nathan hated her. It didn’t matter that he’d kissed her back. Every time he looked at her she could see it in his eyes. If only she could have just five minutes when he looked at her like he’d used to. Just five minutes.

But the world was full of people with ‘if only’s. It was too late to be one of those. She wasn’t here to re-examine her faulty love life. She’d never managed to sustain a decent relationship since the break-up with Nathan. At first she’d had no time or energy for it. No one quite seemed to live up to the man she’d left behind.

But this Nathan was different. He wasn’t the same person she’d loved. She could see the changes behind his eyes. In the weathered lines on his face—textured in the eight years she hadn’t known him. Who had he loved in that time?

What had she just done? If she’d thought this island was claustrophobic before, she’d just made the situation ten times worse.

She’d been so careful. After her initial exchange of words with Nathan she’d tried to be so cool about things. She understood his resentment. Nathan must hate her.

But it couldn’t stop all the feelings he was reviving in her—all the memories. She’d dealt with her renal cancer the best way she felt she could. But it didn’t stop her regretting her actions every time she looked at him.

Part of her was resentful too. How would life have turned out if the renal cancer hadn’t happened? Would they have come to Australia together and settled here? Would they both have stuck at their chosen specialities? She already knew that Nathan had changed his plans—would that have happened if they’d still been together?

Something coiled inside her. Her life could have been so different.

His life could have been so different.

Their lives could have been so different.

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