Annie Claydon - Saved By The Single Dad

Jack nodded. ‘Yours too.’

‘What does that make us?’ She turned her querying gaze on to his face.

Jack shrugged. ‘It makes us people who know our families are safe, and that the village might still need us.’

‘It’s not easy...’

‘I don’t think it’s meant to be.’ Jack’s decision to stay had been made in the small hours of last night and it had torn him in two. Doing his job and being a good dad was a complex and sometimes heartbreaking juggling act.

‘Well, it’s done now. The only thing I can do to justify it is to make today count.’ She smiled suddenly. ‘Hungry?’

‘Famished.’ He looked at his watch. ‘What time’s breakfast?’

‘Not for a couple of hours. We’ll raid the kitchen.’

The kitchen was empty and she made toast while Jack made the tea. She rummaged in the cupboard, finding a couple of jars, and picked up two bananas from a crate in the corner. Then she led the way through to her private hidey-hole in the church porch.

‘What is that?’ It appeared that instead of choosing what she wanted on her toast, Cass was going for everything.

‘Chocolate spread, then peanut butter and mashed banana. Try it; it’s really nice.’

‘Maybe another time. When I’m planning on not eating for the next two days.’

‘A good breakfast sets you up for the day. You should know that; you’re a medic.’

‘Yeah. Perhaps I’d better not mention the sugar in that.’

She shrugged. ‘I’ll work it off.’

They ate in silence. His first slice of toast with peanut butter and his second with chocolate spread. Jack supposed that since he was going to eat the banana afterwards, he couldn’t really poke too much fun at Cass’s choice of breakfast.

It was still early and the glow of a new day, diffusing gently through the thick ancient glass, seemed to impose a relaxed camaraderie. Grabbing meals at odd hours after working most of the night. Talking, saying whatever came to mind without the usual filter of good manners and expediency. It felt as if anything could be asked, and answered.

‘Is there someone waiting for you when we get out of here?’

She shrugged. ‘Lots of people, I imagine.’

‘I meant a partner...’ It was becoming important to Jack to find out about all the subjects that Cass seemed to skirt around.

‘Oh, that.’ Jack wondered whether she really hadn’t known what he was talking about. ‘Big red truck. Makes a noise...’

‘You’re married to your job, then?’

She nodded, taking a bite from her toast. ‘You?’

‘I never married. And I don’t get much time for socialising any more; when Ellie came along I had to make quite a few changes.’

She turned her querying eyes on to him and Jack wondered whether she wanted to know about him as much as he wanted to know about her. It was strangely gratifying.

‘Then you have a past? How exciting.’ The curve of her lip promoted an answering throb in his chest which made it hard to deny how much he liked it when Cass teased him.

‘It’s not that exciting.’ Looking back, it seemed more desperate than anything. Desperate to find the warmth that was missing from his broken home, and yet afraid to commit to anyone in case they let him down, the way his father had let his mother down.

She gave him that cool once-over with her gaze which always left his nerve endings tingling. ‘Bet you were good at it, though.’

That was undeniably a compliment, and Jack chuckled. ‘I kept my head above water.’

Her eyes were full of questions, and suddenly Jack wanted to answer them all. ‘Ellie’s mother was the daughter of one of my dad’s climbing partners; we practically grew up together. I went off to university and when I got back Sal was away climbing. It wasn’t until years later that we found ourselves in the same place at the same time, for the weekend...’

‘Okay. I’ve got your drift.’ Cass held up her hand, clearly happy to forgo those particular details. ‘So what about Ellie?’

‘Fifteen months later, Sal turned up on my doorstep with her.’

‘And you didn’t know...?’

‘Sal never said a word. She only got in touch then because she needed someone to take Ellie while she went climbing in Nepal.’

Cass choked on her toast. ‘That must... I can’t imagine what that must have been like.’

‘It was love at first sight. And a wake-up call.’

‘I can imagine. Bachelor about town one minute, in charge of a baby the next. However did you cope?’

‘Badly at first. Sarah took me in hand, though; she got me organised and offered to take Ellie while I was at work.’ Despite all of the sleepless nights, the worry, it had felt so right, as if he’d been looking for something in all the wrong places and finally found it on his own doorstep. He’d had no choice but to change his lifestyle, but Jack had done so gladly.

‘And Ellie’s mother?’

‘She never came back. Sal died.’

Cass’s shoulders shook as she was seized with another choking fit. Maybe he should wait with the story until she’d finished eating.

She put the toast down on to her plate and left it there. ‘Jack...I’m so sorry. She was killed climbing?’

‘No, she was trying to get in with an expedition to Everest. Of course no one would take her; there’s a waiting list to get on to most of the peaks around there and you can’t just turn up and climb. She wouldn’t give up, though, and ended up sleeping rough. She was killed in a mugging that went wrong.’

‘Poor Ellie...’

Her immediate concern for his child touched Jack. ‘She’s too young for it to really register yet. I just have to hope that I can be there for her when it does.’

Cass took a sip of her tea. ‘I have a feeling you’ll do a great job of helping Ellie to understand about her mother, when the time comes.’

‘What makes you say that?’

She flushed pink. ‘Because you’re very reassuring. You were great with Lynette last night. In between all the grimaces, that was her I’m very reassured face.’

‘Well, that’s good to know. And what was yours?’ He pulled a face, parodying wide-eyed panic.

Cass giggled. ‘That was my I hope no one notices I’m completely terrified face.’

‘Thought so.’ He leaned towards her. ‘I don’t think anyone did.’

‘That’s okay, then.’ The sudden glimpse behind the barriers that Cass put up between her and the world was electrifying. Her smiles, her laughter were bewitching. If things had been different...

But things weren’t different. Ellie had already lost her mother. No one should feel that loss twice, and if it meant that Jack remained steadfastly single it was a small price to pay for knowing that no one would ever have the chance to leave Ellie again.

He took a gulp of tea. Maybe it was better to just stop thinking about any of this and focus on the here and now. ‘So what are your plans for the day?’

* * *

Crisis bonding. That was what it was. Jack wouldn’t seem half as handsome or a quarter as desirable if it hadn’t been for the floods and a long night, filled with every kind of emotion imaginable. A little sleep and a lot of coffee would fix everything.

Somehow Cass doubted that. But she had to tell herself something before she started to fall for Jack. Because, when it came down to it, his expectations were most probably the same as any other man’s.

And she would never really know what his expectations were until she was in too deep. When Paul had first proposed to her he’d never mentioned children, but the pressure had started to grow as soon as it became apparent to both of them that there might be a problem. She couldn’t risk the pain of trying again and being rejected when she failed. No man, not even Jack, could guarantee that he wouldn’t leave her if she couldn’t give him children.