Cara Lockwood - Practicing Parenthood

She ushered Collin to the door.

“But...”

“You need to go. I am not making any decisions until the end of the week, okay? Right now, I need to lie down before I fall down.” She opened the front door and he went, almost in a daze.

“You don’t want to marry me,” he reiterated.

“No, Collin, I don’t,” she said. Then, she shut the glass door in his face.

* * *

“THAT DID NOT go well,” Collin said aloud, but the only one who heard him was the little green gecko darting by his feet on the porch. He stared at the closed door. Madison had closed the blinds, so he couldn’t even look in. Still, Collin stood on the porch, swatting away mosquitoes.

What the hell do I do now? A nagging mosquito bit his neck and Collin slapped it hard. Damn bloodsuckers. Sometimes he hated Florida. He’d been raised in the Bronx and there, mosquitoes never got this big. But he’d gone to law school in Florida, since they’d offered him the biggest scholarship, and after graduation he’d gotten an internship and then a job in the state attorney’s office. And he’d stayed, but he sometimes wished he was back in New York.

“If only I could put the entire mosquito population in jail,” he mused as he adjusted his backpack on his shoulders and headed back to the main office on foot, the ring feeling heavy and suddenly way too expensive in his pocket. He was still reeling from her rejection. He hadn’t been one hundred percent sure she’d say yes, but he realized he’d never really entertained the notion that she’d say no.

Where had he gone wrong? He knew Madison wasn’t like other women he’d dated. She was fiercely independent, and she hadn’t bothered chasing after him when he hadn’t returned her texts, but still... Why hadn’t she accepted his help? Then again, maybe she didn’t need his help.

He shook his head as he wondered whether or not he ought to see if he could get a refund on the ring. He also had no idea what to do if Madison terminated her pregnancy.

Part of him felt strongly that she wouldn’t do that, though. She was one of the biggest-hearted defense attorneys he knew. She couldn’t spin those sob stories to the jury if she didn’t believe them, and Collin’s gut told her she’d be even more protective of her own baby.

Then it’s my job to convince her we ought to get married. He didn’t see it as a sexist thing at all. Madison might be convinced she didn’t need him, but he was convinced the baby did.

After two wrong turns, he ended up back at the office. The door opened with a telltale ding of the bell, and Yvana glanced at him with pity.

“She said no, huh?”

“Why aren’t you surprised?” Collin asked, leaning against the counter, wondering if Yvana knew more than she let on. He swiped at his sweaty brow and tried to enjoy the air-conditioning in the office.

“Oh, I’ve known Maddie a long time,” Yvana said. “Babysat her when she was little. She’s as stubborn a girl as I ever met. You couldn’t get her to do anything unless she thought it was her idea.”

Collin chuckled ruefully. “I learned that the hard way.”

Yvana shook her head slowly, her golden hoop earrings catching the sunlight. “What’re you gonna do? Pack it in? Ferry comes about half an hour from now.”

“No,” Collin said, suddenly feeling a new wave of determination. He hadn’t given up on law school when things had gotten difficult. He wasn’t about to throw in the towel now. That was something his no-good father would have done. Quit when the going got tough. Not him.

Madison wasn’t the only one who had a stubborn streak. “Do you have a house to rent? Preferably close to Madison?”

“Well, well, well.” Yvana raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You’re determined. I’m starting to like you,” Yvana said as she clacked away on her keyboard. “You’re in luck. The Petersons’ house next door is available for rent. You want the whole week?”

“How about just one night?”

Yvana laughed. “Oh, honey, you’re gonna need longer than that,” she said. “I’ll put you down for the week. Maybe two. You can always change the reservation if you convince her earlier—but, honey, let me warn you. She ain’t an easy one.”

CHAPTER FIVE

COLLIN WOKE THE next morning inside the little two-bedroom cottage on stilts, wondering for a second where he was. Then he saw the black velvet box on his nightstand, and all the events from the day before came rushing back. He sat up and yawned, still remembering the steely look on Madison’s face when she’d refused to marry him. Clearly, Madison had been angry with him, and he guessed, if he really thought about it, he understood. He hadn’t exactly been nice after they’d...done the deed. Worrying about office protocol and breaking office rules was probably something he should’ve done before they got naked. But Madison was just irresistible. He supposed he should’ve told her that after they’d slept together instead of ignoring her texts.

He’d messed up. He got that, but a baby changed things, didn’t it?

And why wasn’t he getting any points for standing up and taking responsibility? That was what he didn’t get. Then again, since when did anyone ever give him points for that? His childhood on the poor side of the Bronx should’ve taught him that much. Guys who cut corners—like his father, like the hoods on the street—they got the instant payoff. Good guys had to work harder for theirs. He knew that, had always known it.

The sunlight beamed in through Collin’s open bedroom window; the blinds were permanently stuck in the “up” position. He was normally an early riser, but dawn was earlier than even he normally got up. He glanced around the small room. Everything about this house was smaller and less impressive than Madison’s. Or, rather, her uncle’s. His, too, was on stilts, and stood three stories high, though only two were enclosed, the first being open to the elements, with an outside shower and a small shed for garden tools. The two properties faced one another, and all that separated their properties was a small green space of a shared yard, and a few trees. Their porches and balconies faced one another, though as he glanced at her home now, he couldn’t see her. She must be inside. The yard was surprisingly manicured, most of the island was brush and trees where it wasn’t beach—like a series of crisscrossing sandy trails through bits of tropical jungle. This house badly needed a new coat of paint—and a kitchen and bathroom remodel. However, it was close to Madison’s, which was all that mattered.

He wondered what he ought to do. Call Madison? Go over and offer to get her breakfast? Neither of those things seemed likely to impress a woman who was totally pissed at him. He looked again at Madison’s deck and checked for signs of life. He didn’t see any. Collin sighed. He had no idea what his next move should be. If he was prosecuting a defendant, he would have been able to call his next witness or file a motion before the judge, but now, he felt at a total loss. Madison had told him flat-out no, and it wasn’t as if he could appeal her decision to a higher authority. He rubbed his face and dragged himself to the bathroom where a brown gecko darted across the tile floor. Collin swished mouthwash around to rid himself of stale morning breath and glanced at his bare chest in the mirror. He worked out. He took care of himself. He was a good-looking guy—if he did say so himself—with a promising career. None of that seemed to matter to Madison, though.

He sighed again. Maybe he was a little egocentric, but he was proud of his accomplishments and of his career. He’d put in a lot of effort and defied all the odds to get where he was. He thought about the two jobs his mother had done, her late nights and early mornings, all by herself, working to support him and his sister. She’d passed away of a heart attack the year after he graduated from law school, but at least she’d gotten to see him land a job at the state attorney’s office. She was so proud of him, and he had every right to be proud of himself. Was that ego or just fact?