T.M.E. Walsh - For All Our Sins

A concerned look flashed across Ashe’s face. ‘Maybe you shouldn’t do that, he’s pretty hyper right now.’

His words were sluggish, which meant the timing couldn’t be more perfect for her. ‘You saw me the other day, didn’t you.’ It was a statement rather than a question. ‘You overheard what you shouldn’t have.’ she said, turning her head to glance at him over her shoulder. ‘That’s your problem, isn’t it? Always listening behind doors, lurking in shadows…’

Ashe tried to remain poker-faced.

The dog snarled again. ‘You should go,’ Ashe said at length.

‘But I’ve not stroked Clydie-baby yet,’ she said, returning her attention to the dog. The knife seemed to burn through the fabric of her jeans, right through to her skin. ‘Come on, Clydie-baby … I’ve brought you a treat.’

Stokebrook Secure Hospital NHS Trust, Buckinghamshire 2011

Amelia stared down at the identification tag fastened loosely around her wrist. She looked around the room that had been her prison for the past three years and longed for the pain and the charade to end .

Stokebrook Secure Hospital is a high security psychiatric hospital in the Buckinghamshire countryside. It houses two hundred patients who have been detained under the Mental Health Act 1983 for mental illness, severe mental impairment or psychopathic personality disorders .

Amelia Williams fell into the latter category and was housed in the Dangerous and Severe Personality Disorder Unit (DSPD). This is the second hospital of its nature in England alongside Rampton Secure Hospital in Nottinghamshire .

Three years ago, Amelia had attempted to murder a man who she claimed had tried to rape her. She’d been found unfit to plead in a trial and had been placed at Stokebrook for her own safety and that of the general public .

It’d been little consolation to Amelia that she’d escaped trial and a prison sentence. She’d pulled off the perfect act, making doctors and psychiatrists believe she had a personality disorder and was therefore not aware or responsible for her actions .

In reality Amelia had always known exactly what she was doing. She just didn’t care that she enjoyed her thirst for violence .

But being in Stokebrook hadn’t been plain sailing like she’d envisaged. Locked up with others like her in nature (or worse) and having to maintain her act was starting to take its toll .

Amelia was tired .

And restless .

Every time she closed her eyes she could still see the images of the past. A bloody staircase. A broken body at the bottom, close to death .

She’d heard the screams many times in her head, night after night, relentless. Sometimes she thought back and wondered whether she’d done the right thing in keeping quiet about what had happened. Then she’d think about her long-term plans, once she was out of here. She’d been right then and was right now. Hers and God’s revenge would be sweet .

She’d used her time wisely .

And now she wanted out .

She looked at the woman opposite her. Volunteer Melanie Steward, who had been talking away while Amelia had pretended to listen, was now smiling at her .

Stokebrook had a patient befriending scheme that had worked to Amelia’s advantage. Volunteers under the scheme were allowed to visit patients who otherwise had no contact with the outside world. Trained and given a thorough Criminal Record Bureau check, they were then closely matched with a patient .

Rules were strict and volunteers were warned about the potential to be taken in by the manipulative nature of some patients .

Melanie Steward had already fallen at that first hurdle two years ago, although she didn’t know it yet .

‘Am I boring you?’ Mel said .

Amelia looked away. ‘Did you bring it?’

Mel’s hands twitched nervously. ‘Is that all you wanted? I thought you liked my company?’

Amelia tried to sound convincing. ‘I do but I hoped you’d help me.’

‘And I said I would, whatever you want, no matter if it’s against the rules.’ Mel’s hand swept across the bed and clasped Amelia’s. ‘I never thought that meeting you would make me feel this way… I’m breaking all the rules, Amelia. You helped me realise what I’ve always wanted.’

Amelia looked away. Mel blushed, believing Amelia’s gesture was out of modesty at knowing the love Mel held towards her .

The reality was much darker .

Amelia was repulsed by her .

After the first few visits from Mel, Amelia knew the woman was a homosexual. A fact that had at first seemed to be a setback had presented itself as another opportunity .

No stranger to being intimate with women, Amelia had played Mel like a pro .

A few well-planned questions and the chance to move physically closer to Mel had told Amelia all she needed. Melanie Steward was trapped in a loveless marriage with a man she couldn’t bear to be touched by and the look in Mel’s eyes had told Amelia that she was more than a little attracted to her .

‘Amelia, I…’ Mel trailed off and got up from her chair. Amelia’s eyes widened as Mel began to raise her long skirt .

Not again, Amelia thought. She pushed herself further into the bed when she saw Mel’s hands disappear inside her knickers .

Amelia closed her eyes tight. She heard the sound of tape ripping across bare skin .

‘Here,’ Mel’s voice quivered. ‘I brought it for you.’

Amelia inwardly breathed a sigh of relief as she eyed the intricate cut-glass statue of the Virgin Mary that’d previously been taped against Mel’s inner thigh. Anything made from prohibited materials or sharp objects was strictly forbidden but Mel had broken yet another rule to please her .

Mel handed the statuette over and Amelia turned it over in her hands. The figure was just four inches long but was exactly what she’d asked for. ‘It’s perfect.’

‘Really?’ Mel beamed. ‘I’m so pleased. It fitted the exact description you gave me.’

‘Nobody suspects anything?’

‘No, I was careful, just how you showed me.’

Amelia leaned forward and kissed Mel softly on the lips. ‘You won’t regret this… You’ll come back later?’

Before Mel could reply, her breath caught in her throat as Amelia grabbed the pendant around her neck. ‘What’s this?’ Mel saw the change in Amelia’s eyes. She looked at the small fabric rose at the end of a fake gold chain .

‘Don’t you like it?’

Amelia’s mind took her back to the Rose Garden at Shrovesbury Manor .

Rebecca…

She held back tears as the face from her past appeared before her, like it always did. Firstly, as a beautiful mirage of messy brown hair with wide dark eyes. Her face bore a few freckles which made her look younger than her sixteen years .

Then came the vision Amelia always dreaded, as the pretty face was replaced by a twisted mess of blood and smashed bone. Rebecca’s once full light-pink lips now reduced to a menacing grimace of dried blood and events of unspoken evil .

Amelia ripped the chain from Mel’s neck, making her gasp, her hand reaching for her neck. Amelia threw the chain into her face. ‘Get rid of it.’

Mel was stunned. She avoided Amelia’s eyes and looked around the room. She caught sight of the small shelf filled with a few books from the hospital library. Her eyes landed on a particular title. She knew many pages inside had been drawn over in red pen, many passages underlined or crossed out .