Emily Forbes - Breaking Her No-Dates Rule

‘Perhaps I should get a dog,’ she said to Jess.

‘What are you talking about?’

Ellie waved a hand in the general direction of the other pedestrians. ‘Everyone here has either got kids or a dog. If I’m not going to have kids, maybe a dog is a good alternative. Lots of people do that.’

‘Since when aren’t you having kids?’ Jess asked.

‘Well, I won’t be having any in the near future so a dog might be a good alternative,’ she explained. ‘Besides you know how, when you want something really badly, it seems to take for ever to happen and how, if you stop wanting it, it falls into your lap? Maybe, if I decide to get a dog, I’ll meet the man who will be the father of my children just because I’ve replaced the idea of kids with the reality of a dog.’

‘I don’t get that logic at all,’ Jess replied, and Ellie caught her sideways look, the one that said she thought her friend might be going mad. ‘I think we need to walk a bit faster. We need to get to Bondi and see the backpackers—the young, single crowd who don’t have kids or a dog. That’s another reality, you know. Anyway, I thought you were taking a break from the dating scene.’

‘I am,’ Ellie replied, but even as she uttered the words she knew she could be tempted out of her self-imposed ban very quickly and it was all because of James Leonardi. Since he’d arrived at Eastern Beaches, on the orthopaedic ward, her hormones had gone into overdrive. She was overwhelmingly aware of him and his presence reminded her that she loved being in a relationship. Loved the idea of being in love. ‘I think what I’m trying to say is that perhaps if I stop trying to find my ideal man, he might find me.’

Jess nodded. ‘That makes a bit more sense but, you know what, I think you might just need to revise your definition of your perfect man. You might not want to hear this but I think you’ve been looking at the wrong type of men.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’ve always gone for the guys who appeared sensible and mature, older than you, ones who you think might be ready to settle down, without really worrying about what they’re like. Maybe you should try dating someone your own age.’

‘What’s age got to do with it? Cort’s older than Ruby and you’re still lusting after Adam, who’s older than you too, why do I have to date the young ones?’ Ellie argued.

‘Maybe not too young but maybe you should look for someone who’s not so serious and staid, someone who knows how to have a good time, less of a father figure.’

Ellie frowned. ‘Is that what you think I’ve been doing?’

‘I think you’re looking for someone to be the father of your children but I also think you want someone who will take care of you,’ Jess explained. ‘You don’t need that, you can take care of yourself. I think you should choose a man because he’s a good man, not because you think he’ll make a good father. Look for someone who you can have a bit of fun with. You don’t need to rush into the whole marriage and babies thing. You’re still young. Relax.’ Jess stopped talking as they walked up a steep stretch of path but as soon as they were on a downhill slope again she continued. ‘If I told you your ideal man was waiting around the corner for you, tell me what you’d want to see.’

That was easy. ‘Taller than me,’ Ellie said, ‘maybe a bit older, fit but not with weightlifter muscles, more of a runner’s physique.’ So what if her description was an identical match to James Leonardi? Surely there were plenty of other men who could be described in the same fashion!

‘And what would he be like?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, does he make you laugh or does he take life very seriously? Could he be divorced? Already have kids? Do you want a professional or someone who has a job where they get dirty? A dog person or a cat person? Tea or coffee drinker?’

They’d reached Gordon’s Bay and turned for the trip home. As they walked down the hill around the northern end of Coogee Bay, past Rob’s apartment building, Ellie quickened her pace, not slowing until they’d made it back to the stone wall that signalled the beginning of the beach. A few fishing boats were being taken out from the fishing club and there were a couple of games of beach volleyball under way. Ellie’s attention was drawn to a game of two on two between four fit young guys. They were all wearing board shorts without shirts, their bodies tanned and firm in the morning sun. A few steps closer and Ellie’s heart began to race in her chest. There was something familiar about one of them.

Olive skin, dark hair, a lithe frame. Her fictitious ideal man. James Leonardi.

He had his back to them and his calf muscles bulged as he propelled himself off the sand and into the air to block a ball at the net. His block was successful and Ellie watched as he high-fived his partner and waited for the ball to be returned. He scooped it up and prepared to serve. He tossed the ball high and raised his arms in the air as he hit it over the net. Ellie could see the muscles of his back ripple with the movement. She’d seen his face in profile as he’d served the ball over the net but, even without that glimpse, Ellie knew it was him, she could feel it. That humming in the air was back, getting louder as she got closer. Her senses were on high alert. The sun was a bit brighter, the tang of the sea a bit saltier, the air a bit warmer, but the sounds of the other people had faded a little. The humming was drowning the other sounds out.

‘Well? What do you think?’ Jess was still waiting for Ellie to answer her questions.

Without a trace of a doubt Ellie knew what she wanted. He was right there, in front of her.

As vaguely as she could, she answered Jess’s last question. She tried not to watch James as she spoke but it was hard to keep her attention focussed elsewhere. ‘He has a smile that could brighten any day. He should have a job he enjoys but he doesn’t necessarily have to wear a suit and a tie to work. He needs to like being active, a physical kind of guy, but he’d have to smell nice. He needs a sense of humour and he needs to love his family. He doesn’t need to have his life all mapped out but he would need to know how to treat a woman and he must be prepared to only date one woman at a time.’

Ellie wasn’t sure if James qualified for any of those things, for all she knew he was already married with half a dozen children, but surely with that smouldering, Latin thing he had going on, not to mention the look he had in his eye, she was willing to bet he’d taken his fair share of women to bed, and she was willing, if he was available, to put her hand up to join that list. He could be her experiment, she decided. She could try choosing a man first and looking for a father for her future children second. She could live in the moment for a change. She didn’t have to fall in love with him.

She managed to position herself between Jess and the beach so she was able to keep one eye on the volleyball, and on James, as they walked past. With her hair tied back and hidden underneath a cap she didn’t think he’d recognise her so she thought she could check him out from behind her dark glasses. As they drew level he bent down to pick up the ball and Ellie felt safe enough to let her eyes run over him. His shorts pulled taut over his legs and butt as he squatted down to the sand and his biceps flexed as he retrieved the ball. As he straightened up he looked directly at her. Ellie had thought he wouldn’t recognise her but he paused in mid-action and stood still, only for a second or two but Ellie knew that in that space of time he’d known it was her. She quickly averted her gaze and hurried past. She felt as though he could read her mind and she definitely did not want him to know what she was thinking.