Tiffany Reisz - Her Naughty Holiday

“That is not what I’m asking.”

“Bummer,” he said. It was. He’d been nursing a crush on his daughter’s boss for a good year now, ever since he met Clover the day Ruthie started working at the nursery. He hadn’t done or said anything about the crush. Ruthie needed a job and a steady female presence in her life much more than he needed a girlfriend. But that fact had only stopped him from asking Clover out. It hadn’t put a dent in his crush.

“Here’s the thing,” she said. “I could really use somebody to play boyfriend for Thanksgiving. That’s all. Somebody to deflect all those questions I get from my family about why I’m not married yet, when I’m getting married, when I’m having kids...”

“Can’t you tell them to mind their own damn business?”

“You sound like Ruthie. Does it work when she tells you to mind your own damn business?”

“Well...no.”

“See my problem? It would make everything so much easier if I had a date for Thanksgiving. I know you’re alone this week. Ruthie told me. It’s a free meal and you wouldn’t have to be alone on the day. Interested?”

“Hmm...”

“Hmm...?”

“I kind of like being alone,” he said. “Thanksgiving isn’t a huge deal in my family. My grandmother’s Coquille. She’s always called Thanksgiving ‘What exactly am I supposed to be thankful for?’ Day.”

“Yeah, can’t blame her for that. Do you like free food?”

“I don’t usually turn it down, but I don’t drive out of my way for it.”

“Okay,” she said. “Just thought I’d ask.”

“Wait. You’re giving up on me already? That hurts.”

“I’m not going to try to convince you to do something you don’t want to do,” Clover said.

“Why not?”

“Because no means no.”

“I didn’t say no.”

“Then it’s a yes?”

“I didn’t say that, either. Come on. I’m a businessman. Let’s haggle.”

Clover laughed a nervous laugh, almost a giggle. She sat behind her desk and he sat on the desk next to her.

“You’re pretty when you laugh,” he said. “But you’re also pretty when you don’t laugh.”

“You’re sweet,” she said. “I feel like I shouldn’t have brought this up. I had a weak moment and your daughter set me up.”

“She left her phone here on purpose, didn’t she?” Erick asked.

“I am ninety-nine percent certain of it,” Clover said.

Goddamn, she was pretty when she blushed. No doubt about it. Blue eyes, blond hair and the natural beauty of a woman too busy to bother wearing much makeup. She always sported lip gloss, though. An icy pale pink that gave her a sixties mod look. A kissable color like bubble gum. He wondered what she tasted like.

“That girl will do me in someday, I swear.”

“She’s just worried about me,” Clover said. “It’s sweet.”

“I’m not used to my daughter being sweet. I’m more used to my daughter painting her bedroom walls and ceiling black, bribing an ex-con to give her a tattoo and flipping off the next door neighbor’s cat.”

“She flipped off the cat?”

“She said he was judging her.”

“I think she’s just trying to live up to her own reputation.”

“It’s working,” he said. “So do you really need someone to play boyfriend for the week? It’s that bad with your family?”

She sighed heavily and sat back.

“It’s hard,” she said. “They love me but that doesn’t make the stuff they say easier to hear. They think they’re saying, ‘We love you and we want you to be happy,’ but what I hear is, ‘You’re inadequate, you’re a disappointment and you haven’t done what you’re supposed to do to make us happy.’ They bug me so much about getting married that I’m scared to even date because I don’t know if I’m dating to make them happy or dating to make me happy. I’ve almost signed up for Tinder ten times in the last year and talked myself out of it.”

“I’d rather take a vow of celibacy than join Tinder. And I’m not even Catholic.”

“Don’t do that. That would be a waste.”

He grinned at her and shrugged. “You think I’m cute?” he asked.

“You’re hot,” she said. “Like UPS-driver hot.”

“That’s hot.”

“Smoking.”

“This is fun,” he said. “Why haven’t we ever flirted with each other before?”

“Because your daughter works for me, and I didn’t want to make it weird for her.”

“Oh, yeah. Her. Kids are such cock blocks. That’s the name of my parenting book if I ever write one, by the way.”

“That bad?”

“I love my kid, but damn, she makes things complicated. I don’t think I would have given asking you out a second thought if she was a normal kid. But this job was the miracle we needed. I didn’t think anybody would give her a chance after the barn incident.”

“Kids make stupid mistakes,” she said. “We all did.”

“At fifteen I snuck a couple beers from Dad’s stash, ‘borrowed’ the car without permission and ran over the neighbor’s bushes. I didn’t commit ecoterrorism to protest factory farming.”

“She’s got principles. I’ll give her that.”

“She’s got a criminal record for arson and destruction of private property is what she’s got.”

“That, too.”

“You’re good for her,” Erick said. “This job’s been good for her. I kept thinking about asking you out but then I thought Ruthie wouldn’t want to work for you if we were dating. Or if we broke up.”

“In this scenario we’ve already dated and broken up?” Clover asked.

“I’m a parent. We plan for all eventualities.”

“I’m not a parent and I had the same thoughts—don’t screw things up for Ruthie. But that’s me being selfish. She’s a great assistant. I’d hate to lose her.”

“She’s crazy about you. She needs a woman in her life. But her dad kind of does, too. Ask me what two hundred and sixty-eight means.”

“What does two hundred and sixty-eight mean?”

“That’s how many days until Ruthie starts college, and I have my house back. Not that I’m counting.”

“Are you counting?”

“I’m counting.”

“You know, my parents would probably be very impressed if they thought I were dating a single father. They’d think that was a ready-made family.”

“You really want me to be your Sven?” Erick asked. He already planned on doing it. This woman had taken his angry petulant pyromaniac daughter and turned her into a functioning member of society in under a year. He’d do anything for this woman, including but not limited to pretending to be her boyfriend for a couple days.

“I would appreciate it,” she said.

“We can have sex all week too, right?”

“Okay.”

“What?” Erick burst into laughter.

“What?” she repeated. “Why are you laughing?”

“I didn’t think you’d say yes. I was joking.”

“You were?” Her blue eyes went wide.

“Well...yeah. I mean, not that I don’t want to. I do want to. I swear to God, I thought you’d say no. I never guessed you’d say yes, not in a million years.”

“And why not?” she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. Oh, no, he’d put her on the defensive. Bad move.

“You’re a little reserved.”

“Reserved? Me?” She sat up straighter, prim as a schoolmarm.

“Your lowest cut shirt is a turtleneck.”

“Is there something wrong with having a warm neck?”

“Not a damn thing. Obviously I misjudged you. I’m sorry,” he said, not at all in the least sorry to discover Clover Greene wanted to sleep with him.

“Okay, I might be a little reserved,” she said. “But it’s not on purpose. When you own your own business and run it all by yourself, you tend to be all business.”