Carolyne Aarsen - The Cowboy's Family Christmas

Leanne was thankful that in spite of George’s antagonism to Reuben, he carried the conversation. She couldn’t make idle chitchat with a man who had let her down so badly. Treated her so poorly.

A man she’d thought, at one time, she would be spending the rest of her life with.

And right now, sitting with him only a few feet away, with Austin sleeping upstairs, her own feelings were in such turmoil, she wasn’t sure what she would say to him.

“Well, whatever works,” George said, taking a drink of his water. “You’re not in a saddle anymore but you’re still running around, aren’t you?”

“Haven’t found a reason to settle down yet.” Then Reuben turned to Leanne. “This is a great supper. Thanks so much for having me.”

His polite smile and impersonal comment created a clench of dismay that surprised and frustrated her. All through the meal he’d been unfailingly polite, asking George questions about the ranch, the hired hands, the community. He didn’t bother asking anything of her.

Or about Austin, which cut deepest of all.

“You’re welcome,” she said, keeping her voice cool. “It was the least we could do after you helped us out.”

He shot her a frown, clearly picking up on the faint note of sarcasm that had crept into her voice.

“It was the right thing to do. So what are you going to do now that Devin has quit?” Reuben asked, his gaze fixed on Leanne, as if daring her to answer his question.

Leanne glanced at George, who glowered, tapping his fingers on the table.

“I don’t know,” George said finally. “Sometimes I think we should let it all go.” Then he glanced at Leanne. “But then I think of Austin and know we should keep going.”

His words created a low-level panic in her. Though Leanne knew, when it came right down to it, her father-in-law would never sell the ranch, he had floated the idea a couple of times. And she had simply let him talk, hoping he would change his mind.

He always did.

“We’ll keep going,” she said, giving George an encouraging smile. “We’ll advertise for another hand. That’s how we got Devin and he knew his stuff.” She didn’t add the fact that George had been the one to drive him to quit, but she lived in hope that they would find someone who was able to ignore George’s bluster and do the work.

“This Chad guy. Where did you find him?” Reuben asked.

“Word of mouth,” Leanne said, glancing over at George who had gone quiet, staring off into the middle distance. Leanne caught him doing this more often the past while. As if he was ruminating on life. Looking back into a past he couldn’t change and the losses that had caused him so much pain.

“He seems like a good guy, but not too experienced,” Reuben said.

“He’ll learn.”

“But you’re still shorthanded. And you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you getting the rest of the cows processed and the calves weaned.”

Leanne was wondering why he was giving her the third degree. What did he care about what was happening on the ranch? He never had cared about it before.

Or about other things.

“We are shorthanded,” George said to Reuben, jumping into the conversation. “But you could help us out. You said you don’t have to go back for a couple of weeks. You could help Leanne get the cows down from the upper pastures. Help us wean them.”

“We can find someone else,” Leanne chimed in. There was no way she could handle Reuben being at the ranch all day. “And besides, Reuben said he was leaving town.”

“I can stay, help out around here,” Reuben said.

Leanne could only stare at him. “Why?”

“My dad asked if I could, and I can,” Reuben said, his tone even. Measured. As if he was challenging her. “And I know you won’t find anyone to help on the ranch on such short notice.”

Leanne pressed her lips together, struggling for self-control. She was the new secretary of the Rodeo Group. And when she’d found out Reuben would be doing the assessment on the arena, she figured it would only require seeing him for a couple of meetings and then he would be done.

But to have him here? Every day?

“Good. Then that’s settled,” George said. “We’ll see you on Friday.”

Leanne felt a headache crawling up her neck and had suddenly had enough of trying to sit through this visit. Trying to be polite to a man who had once held her heart and, instead, had pushed her away when she needed him most.

She couldn’t struggle through inane conversation with Reuben for a single minute longer.

“Excuse me,” she mumbled, shooting a glance at George, her eyes barely grazing over Reuben. She picked up her plate and carried it to the kitchen. She set her plate on the counter, gripping the edge as she tried to keep it together. In spite of her anger with Reuben, she was still disappointed to see how much he affected her. After all he had done, or rather hadn’t done, he could still make her heart tremble. At one time in her life, she would have prayed about this visit, asking God to give her strength. But she hadn’t attended church since Dirk died. The burdens on her shoulders weighed too heavily.

And now it looked like he would be here on the ranch. Every day until they were done moving and weaning.

She drew in a deep breath, then began scraping the food off the plate into the garbage can.

“Not going to feed those to Buster? I’m sure the old dog would love those leftovers.”

Ruben’s deep voice behind her made her jump. Why didn’t he stay in the dining room? She just wanted this evening over and him gone.

“Buster’s not around anymore,” she said.

“What? Since when?”

“He died shortly after Austin was born.” In spite of her feelings toward him, she softened her voice as she gave him the news. Though the old collie had been the ranch’s dog, he had always been attached to Reuben and was always right at his heels everywhere he went.

“I was wondering where he was when we were working with the cows. I thought he was sleeping. Figured he was probably pretty old.” Reuben released a heavy sigh as he set the bowls with the leftover food on the counter.

She didn’t imagine the sorrow in his voice, and for the smallest moment she wanted to reach out to him and console him. But she stopped herself. He didn’t deserve her pity.

George came into the kitchen, setting the last of the plates beside the sink.

“If you don’t mind, I’m turning in,” he said to Leanne. “Tell Shauntelle thanks for dinner.”

He turned to Reuben. “So we’ll see you again?”

Reuben nodded, then George left, his footsteps slow as he walked through the kitchen to the stairs leading to his bedroom in his wing of the house.

Reuben waited until he was gone, then turned back to Leanne. “He looks tired,” he said, his voice quiet.

“He’s getting older and he hasn’t been feeling well lately.” Leanne kept her tone conversational, wishing Reuben would just leave. She wanted nothing more than to go to her own bedroom, crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head and end this day. But she plugged on.

“Why does he keep going?” Reuben asked. “Why doesn’t he sell this place? Sounds like he’s talked about it.”

“Sell the place?” Leanne couldn’t keep the incredulous tone out of her voice as she finished loading the dishwasher. “This place has been in the Walsh family for generations. He can’t do that. He won’t do that,” she amended.

Reuben gave her a surprised look. “You seem bothered by the idea.”

“You don’t sell land,” she said, closing the dishwasher and punching the buttons, his nearness creating unwelcome feelings countered by his casual dismissal of everything she now held dear. “I can’t believe you would even say that. You, a Walsh.”