Gina Calanni - How To Bake The Perfect Christmas Cake

“What are you going to do?” I rub his arm. His muscles are flexed. I’m sure the tension is not for my enjoyment but due to stress. Regardless of the reason, they are firm. I blink. I need to get a grip. I need to be there for him, not merely physically but emotionally.

“I’m going to let the authorities do what they can and try to figure things out.” He moves his head as though he is shaking off a bad memory. “Listen, I’m sorry to concern you with any of this. But I needed you to know why I didn’t come before.” He picks up my hand and kisses my knuckles one by one.

“I don’t know what to say.” I study his eyes. Eyes which are circled by a shade of sleeplessness nights still send me tugging sensations in all regions of my body.

“Say, you aren’t mad at me, that you won’t hold it against me.” Jack brings up my other hand to his mouth and repeats each kiss.

“Jack, that’s ridiculous, how could I be mad at you?” I squeeze his hands. I glance up at him. “However, you could have left more than one voicemail.” I focus on the floor. I’m happy Jack is here, but I was left in the dark for quite a while.

“I know and I’m sorry.” Jack grabs my hand and brings it to his lips. “I just couldn’t tell you any of this over the phone or by texting. Honestly, Lauren, I didn’t want to tell you at all and burden you with any of this information.” Jack sighs.

“Burden me? Not knowing why you didn’t show up was burdening me. I had no idea what happened. Have you ever showed up at the airport excited to see someone and to find out they didn’t make the trip? And then to listen to a voice mail with no real explanation? “I pull my hands back and let them rest in my lap for a second, then reach for my wine glass and take a long sip.

“No, I haven’t experienced that, and I’m truly sorry. Things with us were going so well. I just thought I could almost pause us in time and handle this situation.” Jack rolls his lips. “I know that wasn’t the right thing to do and I feel horrible for not filling you in about any of it.” Jack rubs his forehead. “Vintage Estates has been in my family for years and now…” Jack sighs.

“Now what?”

“Now…” Jack runs his hand through his hair and glances at my ceiling. “I don’t know, things aren’t looking good. Sherry somehow got some whack job of a lawyer to finagle some documents to put a mortgage on the property.”

“So she took all the money and then some?” I furrow my eyebrows. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. This sounds like something from a Lifetime movie. Next thing I know, my head could be in the refrigerator. I shake my head…No, this is Jack’s issue not mine.

“Yes, Sherry took out a huge loan against the property, so along with all the bills she hasn’t been paying, she also put Vintage Estates in further debt.” Jack blows out through his lips. “I can’t imagine how Lewis would feel about this, they had been married for a couple of years. I thought he would have seen something? Or maybe she is in grief and did this because of that?”

I jerk my head back. “You can’t be serious? People don’t steal tons of money because of grief!” At least I wouldn’t think that would be the case.

“I don’t know, Lauren, none of this makes sense to me.” Jack grabs my hand. “Except you.”

I squint my eyes. “Except me?”

“Yes, you make sense to me. Despite everything falling to pieces, and Vintage Estates being in my family for years, the main concern of mine was not losing you. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t come sooner, too. Please don’t keep me in the dark again.” I stare at him. His piercing blue eyes are shining back me. Everything about those eyes makes me want to climb into his arms and be surrounded by his heart.

“I won’t…Lauren, I’ve missed you so much.” He pulls me into his lap and kisses me hard. Harder than he’s ever kissed me before. Like he’s searching for some sort of physical confirmation of my words and I want to give it to him. I meet each twirl and tug from him with a nip from my teeth or a swirl from my tongue. His hands are moving over my body. Grasping onto each one of my curves and cupping me softly and then harder. I’m falling, I can’t see where I’m headed. I’m dizzy. I pull back.

“Jack.”

Jack slides his hands up to my face and runs his finger over my lips. “Yes?”

“I—” I’m at a loss for words. I have no pies to tend to. My family is miles away from everything. No one can rescue me from this moment of intensity. I have no excuses other than me as to why I’m stopping him or us from going further.

“Lauren, are you okay? “Jack tips my chin up so our eyes meet. I’m melting. I glance down again. I need to regain my focus and have an answer to my internal question. I don’t want to fall and just let nature take its course. I want an outline or plan of some sort, an idea. I can’t just relax and go with this. It’s too much. I need more than just a physical bond. I need an understanding. I’m not even sure if it’s possible. But I owe it to myself to try. To at least speak up.

“Yes. I just...I mean, all of this is good, but I…where is it or we headed?” My lips purse, I’m most likely creating wrinkles at this very moment. But stress is supposed to do that and I am stressed. I don’t know what to think of what is happening. I want to be with Jack. I do. But I don’t want a fling or a weekend moment.

“Headed. This hand is headed for your back to pull you in closer and this hand is headed for your hair, because I love the way your silky curls feel and my lips, my lips are headed for your mouth.” He leans in and we kiss again. It’s soft at first and then the passion is stronger, he scoops me up in his arms and pulls me in tight, exploring my mouth with his tongue and my body with his firm searching hands.

My heart is racing. I’m tingling all over the place. I know my face is flushed. I need to take control of this situation.

“Jack.” I pull back again.

“Yes, Lauren.”

“Jack, seriously. I need to know what our plan is.” I pull back a little bit.

“Our plan? Like our life plan? Or our tonight plan?” Jack tugs a tendril from my hair.

I laugh. “Um…I guess life plan is a little far-reaching, but only tonight’s plan isn’t enough, so somewhere in the middle of those two.” I lock my eyes on him.

He grins at me. His smile is warm and honest. I can’t imagine not seeing that smile every day and I don’t want to. I don’t want him to ever leave. I want to be with him.

“Lauren, I’m not going anywhere if that’s your concern? Well, except back to Texas on Sunday. I have to.” He rubs my shoulder.

He runs his finger over the top of my lip. “Don’t pout. I’ll come back. I have to get things figured out at Vintage Estates.”

“Right, but what are we going to try? A long-distance something or other?” My eyes flicker at the idea.

“We could. Lauren, I’m enamored with you and I want to be with you. But I can’t tell you exactly how our life will play out. If you think that’s even a possibility then you’re fooling yourself.” He tugs on my skirt.

“I’m not saying you have to give me a blueprint of our plans for the future. But I want some sort of sense of where this is headed.”

“How about you close your eyes and let me lead the way?” Jack lifts me off the ground and his lips meet mine. My eyes are closed. But with him I don’t feel lost.

Chapter Three

Jack was a perfect gentleman and slept in my guest room, which I’m really happy to have finally put the finishing touches on over the summer. The room is furnished with a queen bed, a chestnut dresser and two nightstands, they are not from a matching set, but I think they look great. I set my alarm earlier than what I would have wanted to wake up to on a Saturday morning, but I wanted to be able to take a shower and get myself presentable, as Megan would say, before seeing Jack.