Patricia Davids - The Amish Nanny

Ethan set the boy on the floor and appeared to give the idea careful consideration. “Heidi the Heifer. It has a certain ring to it. What do you think, Lily?”

Lily, still in Clara’s arms, worked her hands out of the towel and cupped Clara’s face. “I like it. Do you like it, Clara?”

Clara’s heart turned over with a surge of emotion at the child’s touch. What she wouldn’t give to have a little girl of her own like Lily. “It’s an excellent name. Let’s go and put your nightgown on until your clothes get dry.”

She carried the child up the stairs, happy to escape Ethan’s watchful eyes.

Once in the girl’s room, Clara finished drying the child and helped her dress in a white cotton nightgown with a tiny pink ribbon threaded through the lace at the neckline. “Sit down and let me comb and braid your hair.”

Lily climbed on the bed and sat cross-legged with her toes peeking from beneath the hem of her gown. She tipped her head to the side. “Clara, will you be my friend?”

“I would be delighted to be your friend, Lily.” Clara began to pull a comb gently through the girl’s tangled hair.

“What do friends do?”

“Friends do all kinds of things together.” She finished combing and began to braid the wet strands.

“Like what?”

“Friends visit each other. Sometimes they help each other with problems. They play games. When you are older, you can go to quilting bees and singings and simply enjoy each other’s company.”

“Do you enjoy my company?”

Clara smiled. “Very much.”

“I think I like having you for a friend.”

Clara secured the end of Lily’s braid with an elastic band. “I like having you for a friend, too.”

“Do you want to play hide-and-seek?”

Clara flicked the end of Lily’s nose with her finger. “Nee, for I have just got you clean. No hide-and-seek today.”

“Tomorrow?”

Sitting on the bed beside the child, Clara said, “I won’t be back tomorrow.”

Lily’s smile vanished. “Why not?”

“Because my job with the Lapp family is finished. I’m not sure when we will see each other again.”

“But you are my friend, and I want you to play with me.” Lily’s lower lip began to quiver.

Clara wrapped her arms around the child. “We will plan a visit. How about that? Someday soon. I’ll ask your onkel to bring you to my grandfather’s farm so you can see all our sheep and meet our dog, Duncan.”

“When?”

“I’ll work that out with your onkel, but it won’t be long.”

“Promise?”

Ethan didn’t seem to mind her giving the children a bath, but how would he feel about bringing Lily for a visit? Looking at the child’s hopeful face, Clara decided to ask and hoped her courage wouldn’t desert her when she was face-to-face with him. “I promise. Now smile for me. It makes my heart happy when I see a grin on your face.”

Lily complied. Amos came upstairs still wrapped in his towel. She left him to get dressed in his room. When he came out in his pajamas, he had a wooden puzzle in his hands. “Onkel said we were to play up here until he calls us to eat.”

“Okay.” Lily slipped to the floor and the two of them began to assemble the puzzle on the blue-and-white braided rag rug beside her bed.

Clara went down to see what she could do to help Ethan. The kitchen smelled of cooking ham. Ethan stood at the stove with his back to her, frying the meat in a skillet. There was a freshly sliced loaf of bread on the table along with a bowl of tomatoes.

Clara saw that Micah was home. The boy was setting the table. He paused when he caught sight of Clara. “What’s she doing here?”

“She has been taking care of your brother and sister.”

“Spying on us, you mean. She’s always spying.”

Clara’s stomach lurched. She pressed a hand to her midsection. Her foolish behavior was about to be exposed.

Ethan turned from the stove to scowl at the boy. “Apologize to Clara right now, Micah.”

“But it’s true. She was watching me at the Lapp farm, waiting to get me in trouble. She was watching me again today. Now she’s here in our house.”

Clara’s knees went weak with relief. He didn’t seem to know about her return visit the first time she came here.

Ethan glanced at her and back to Micah. “Only someone doing wrong fears discovery. If you are afraid Clara will see you doing something wrong, then you must have something to hide.”

“Everyone thinks I’m bad.” Micah slammed down the plate and raced out of the house.

Ethan sighed heavily. “I apologize for my nephew’s behavior.”

Clara was more ashamed then ever by her suspicions about Ethan. “I wasn’t spying on Micah.”

“I know that.”

“I was spying on you.” She bowed her head, unable to face him.

“On me?”

She nodded. “I came back after Faith and I left the other day and I listened beneath the window to your conversation with Micah.”

“Why would you do that?”

Clara closed her eyes in shame. “I was afraid you would beat him.”

He didn’t reply. She chanced a look at him and saw disbelief written on his face. Quickly, she said, “When my parents died, my sisters and I went to live with our onkel. He wasn’t kind.”

“He was cruel to you?”

She nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat.

After a long pause, he said, “I see. Have your fears for my children been eased, or have I given you more to worry about?”

He was offended. She didn’t blame him. She swallowed hard. “I was wrong, and I beg your forgiveness. I don’t need that ride home. Tell the children I said goodbye.”

She rushed out of the house before he could say anything else, before he could see the tears of shame that sprang to her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

* * *

It was a long hot walk home, but Clara barely noticed the distance or the growing heat of the early July day. She was too humiliated to care about the sun beating down on her shoulders or the dust she kicked up on the road. It was unlikely that Ethan would bring Lily to visit her now. Although she had only met the children briefly, she was quite taken with Amos and Lily. She would have enjoyed seeing them again.

Clara looked up at the cloudless sky. It seemed that her poor behavior had cost her more than dented dignity. It was a hard lesson that she wouldn’t soon forget.

When she finally reached her grandfather’s home, she found her sisters hard at work. Lizzie stood at the stove sweating over a huge pan of simmering ears of corn. At the back of the stove, a pressure cooker began to whistle. Lizzie used a pair of thick oven mitts to move it off the heat. At the kitchen table, her youngest sister, Betsy, was cutting the kernels off the cobs into a bowl while Greta packed them into glass jars.

“Oh, good, you’re home.” Lizzie smiled brightly.

Surrounded by her family, Clara let go of her self-pity. She had made a mistake. It couldn’t be undone. It couldn’t be changed. Life went on. She would remember Ethan and his family in her prayers, but that was all she could do. Perhaps in time, he would forgive her, but she couldn’t dwell on her blunders.

She looked around the room at the people who loved her and accepted her as she was.

“What can I do to help?” she asked, not wanting to think about Ethan anymore.

Lizzie checked the simmering corn ears with a long fork, then put the lid back on the kettle. “You can gather and shuck more ears for us. We’ve put up thirty pints, but we should hurry and put up thirty more before the corn hardens in this heat.”

“Okay. Where is Naomi?” Clara asked.

Naomi was their grandfather’s new wife. After years of loving each other from afar, the Lord had finally given them the courage to begin a new chapter of their lives together. All the girls adored her. It was easy to see how happy she made their grandfather.