Claire McEwen - Wild Horses

“I kind of like the name, but I didn’t grow up here.”

“No,” Wade said hollowly. “You didn’t. Count yourself lucky for that.”

“But you came back.” Todd wondered, briefly, what life circumstances would induce him to make his family home his own. He couldn’t think of any.

“For the land.” Wade gestured up, toward the valley sides that rose steeply to meet the first slopes of the Sierras. Out here the mountains seemed to push straight out of the hills, their sheer granite slopes steep and forbidding and breathtakingly beautiful. “I love it out here. The mountains, the high desert. If I can just fix this place up, I’ll have my own piece of paradise. It’s worth facing the past for that.”

“Makes sense to me,” Todd assured him. They were the same reasons he’d been drawn to the area.

“So did you come out here to apologize to my sister?”

Did Nora tell her brother everything? Todd felt his face flush and was glad the brim of his hat shaded his face. “Yeah.”

“She’s doing fieldwork today,” Wade told him.

“Right. Well, I left her something on the porch. As part of that apology.”

Wade shifted uncomfortably. “Look, I’m not really used to talking about this stuff. And I don’t know much about what went on between you two. Nora never even told me about you.”

He paused and Todd just waited. It seemed better to say nothing than say something wrong.

“But the thing is,” Wade went on, kicking at the dust under his boot, “I lived with her right after you left. She was pretty upset for a long time. And I saw her come home pretty upset again last night.”

Todd knew the only way he’d earn Wade’s respect was through honesty. “Yeah, maybe that drink was a bad idea. It didn’t go so well. And it ended with my foot wedged so far in my mouth I don’t know if I’ll ever get it out.”

Wade gave a grim smile at that. “Look, I like you. Hell knows I could use a buddy out here. But don’t cause my sister trouble, okay? She’s a good person—a great person. She’s my only family and she gave up a lot to look out for me. I don’t want to see her hurt again.”

Todd didn’t know if the sick feeling in his throat was more embarrassment or disappointment. He’d sat across from Nora last night just trying to take her in. She’d always been pretty, but now she was so much more. Grown-up and strong and fiery underneath that same veneer of calm. Her gray eyes were darker than he remembered. Stormier. Her brown hair was longer, wavy and bleached by the sun, framing her face, which had lost some of its girlish fullness. The new angles suited her. She’d been furious with him in the bar last night, and remote, determined to hold him at a distance. And he knew he should respect that. But her down-to-earth beauty had grabbed him by the heart and twisted, wringing out all those memories he’d tried to lay to rest. He’d loved her. And while talking with her last night he’d vividly remembered all the heat that had been between them once. They’d been so alive, so in the moment together. Devouring knowledge, wandering mountains, exploring the world and never, ever getting enough of each other.

Until he’d learned the truth about his own family. And in his anger and rebellion, he’d messed up everything.

And now it didn’t matter what he might want. Clearly there could be nothing between them anymore. Nora despised him. She saw him as the pampered trust-fund kid he used to be. Which was exactly how he’d come across.

“I won’t cause her any more trouble,” he promised. “I screwed up back in college and I screwed up last night. I won’t mess up a third time. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Wade looked relieved. He pulled his cowboy hat down over his shaggy hair. Evidently he was growing out his military buzz cut. “Good,” he said. “Now that we got that over with, do you want go fishing this weekend?”

Now, that was the perfect way to end an awkward conversation. Todd grinned—part relief, part excitement. “That would be great. These past couple years have been so busy, getting the machine repair business going, and my ranch set up. I haven’t had much time to get to know many different fishing holes. It’d be awesome to get out there with a local.”

“Well, my knowledge is a little dated,” Wade admitted. “I’ve only been back a couple weeks and there hasn’t been time for fishing. But probably not much has changed. How about I swing by and pick you up from your work Sunday evening? That’ll give us a couple hours of daylight to nab a few trout.”

“Sounds good,” Todd said. He turned back to his truck, then paused. “You want any help grading this driveway?”

He saw Wade’s shoulders stiffen a little, wary of anything that smacked of charity. “Maybe eventually,” he said. “Right now I kind of like it. Keeps the nosy folks of Benson from paying any calls.”

Todd laughed. “You’re probably right about that. But it’s also hard on your truck. Think about it. I’m happy to help.”

“I appreciate that,” Wade said.

“And I’m not sure Nora mentioned it, but I work with mustangs. I adopt horses caught in government roundups and I train them to be good stock horses.”

“She didn’t say anything, no.”

Relief shot through him. If Nora hadn’t told her brother he worked with mustangs, she wouldn’t have mentioned the other night when he’d set a bunch of them free. “Well, I sell them for the original adoption fee I paid the Department of Range Management. If you need horses, you can’t beat the price. And you’ll be giving a mustang a new lease on life.”

“That doesn’t seem like a sound business plan you’ve got going on there,” Wade said, studying him.

“It’s not meant to be a business. Just something I care a lot about. When you get to a point where you’re ready for some horses, I hope you’ll consider mine.”

“I’d be happy to,” Wade said. “Sounds like a good cause and a great bargain.” He gave a wave and then walked off down the lane, heading toward the ramshackle row of sheds.

Todd climbed into his truck. Fishing. It might be a little awkward at first, hanging out with Nora’s brother. But he liked the guy already.

He’d just have to keep things peaceful with Nora. Though that might be hard, seeing as they were on opposite sides of the wild horses issue.

Plus, she didn’t make him feel peaceful. Quite the opposite. Despite her being so pissed at him last night, she’d changed something inside him. He’d walked out of that bar feeling as if his blood was moving faster, his heart beating stronger. He’d felt more alive than he could remember feeling since college.

He didn’t want peaceful with Nora. He wanted what they’d had before. He wanted to take her by the hand and explore the east side of the Sierras—to swim with her in the ice-cold lakes and go find the secret hot springs that trickled from deep in the earth. He wanted to lose himself in her the way he used to.

He understood that he couldn’t have it, but it didn’t stop him wanting it.

He steered his truck carefully back along the rutted drive. It was heartbreaking, this evidence of such neglect and waste. Nora’s dad had been careless with his ranch and his family.

And Todd had been careless, too—with Nora. He’d loved her for three years, and it shocked him now to look back and realize he’d never asked much about where she’d come from. He’d been too much of an egotistical college boy to talk about much besides himself. Though that had probably suited Nora fine, since she hadn’t wanted to talk about her past. And now he understood why. If he’d grown up here on this depressing ranch, he’d want to pretend none of it existed, too.