Carolyne Aarsen - Courting The Cowboy

“We didn’t ask her,” Paul said, intervening. Then he turned to Ella, his expression serious. “And I’m sorry we bugged you. We didn’t mean to. We always played on these swings before ’cause we don’t have any by our house.”

His words sounded so sincere and, at the same time, so formal and so adult for his age.

But what was even worse was the notion that she was the Big Bad Neighbor taking away their fun.

The solitude had been what she signed up for, she told herself. However, as she looked down at their sad faces, she felt petty. What did it matter if the kids came to her yard to play on the swing set?

Was saving herself a few moments of discomfort worth making these kids feel restricted on their own ranch yard?

“You know what?” she said. “I go out for a run every day with Pablo at eight o’clock in the morning and after supper. Why don’t you come and play on the swings either of those times?” That way she would be satisfying Cord’s demands that her kids stay away from her dog, and the kids could come and play there while she was gone. She glanced at Cord as if to check with him but, for some reason, he was still frowning.

Suzy let out a cheer and then grabbed Ella’s hand, looking up at her with a wide grin. “Thanks, Miss Ella. That’s awesome possum.”

Her faint lisp made the words sound even more adorable.

“Okay, kids, over to the house,” Cord said. “You have to get ready for church.”

Suzy kept looking up at Ella, still held her hand. “Are you coming with us? To church?”

Ella wasn’t sure what to say or how to say it. And the pleading look on the little girl’s face tugged at her heart.

“Paul and Suzy, go to the house now and change, please. And go straight to the house. No stopping at Miss Ella’s porch to pet that dog.”

Cord’s voice was firm and the kids sensed they had already gotten as many concessions as they could.

“See you in church,” Suzy said, releasing her hand.

The assumption that she was coming hooked into her soul.

They walked past Cord but as they did he reached out and stroked Paul’s head, tucked a strand of flyaway hair behind Suzy’s ear, his casual gestures melting her resistance to him. It wasn’t hard to see he was a loving father. “Could you two wash up? And tell Grandpa I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He spoke softly, smiling at his children.

He watched them leave and once they were out of earshot he turned back to Ella.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said. “Paul was right. They played here all the time. The house used to be my dad’s. I’m sorry they bothered you.”

Before she could say that they hadn’t disturbed her, he carried on.

“And don’t feel like you have to let them come over. I know you’re not crazy about kids.”

She wanted to protest, realizing how things might have looked. But she stopped herself as she held his steady gaze. He was an attractive man and his interaction with his kids made him even more appealing.

She had to shut this down. There was no way she was going there again. Darren had taught her some harsh lessons about trust and relationships.

“If I’m gone when they come over I think it should work out fine,” she said, looking away from his blue-green eyes, reminding herself that she had other priorities, as did he. “Besides, they have school so I probably won’t see them much.”

Cord sighed and shook his head. “Unfortunately they have two weeks off for spring break starting Monday.”

Ella shot him a frown. “So they’ll be around all day?” What was he going to do with no nanny?

“I’m sorry if that’s a problem,” he said, his voice going hard and his hands going up in a gesture of defense as she realized that he had misunderstood her. “They’ll be out of your hair all day today because after church we’re visiting my in-laws in Calgary. But if you need to look for another place to stay, my dad can help you out.”

Then before she could explain what she had actually meant, he turned and walked away.

Pablo barked at him as he went past and Cord shot her dog another frown.

Awesome. Way to underline his perception of us, Ella thought, sighing. Clearly he seemed to think she didn’t like his kids at all.

She glanced at her watch. In twenty minutes they would be leaving for church. She should take Pablo out so she could be gone when they left.

But as she walked back to where Pablo was tied up, the memory of Suzy clutching on to her hand and asking her, so innocently, if she was going to church clung to her thoughts.

I should stay home. I should work.

There was that word again. The one Darren kept throwing at her. She should work harder. She should contribute more.

She should be a better wife.

She didn’t want to do should anymore.

And what do you want to do?

She held that question as she sought the reason she used to attend church.

When she and God were closer. When she trusted Him to take care of her.

Her and her baby.

She shook off the thought but behind it came the thought of Suzy’s expectant face and the hope she was reluctant to extinguish.

* * *

“Miss Ella came to church,” Suzy whispered, grabbing Cord’s hand as Reverend Blakely pronounced the final blessing on the congregation.

Cord didn’t want to look back to see the very attractive Miss Ella with her exotic eyes and narrow features.

He felt a flicker of self-reproach at the attraction she created in him. This morning, when the kids were gone, he’d had to stop himself from taking a step closer to her. From holding her gaze and trying to find a connection between them.

He knew she was all wrong. She didn’t seem to like kids and Suzy and Paul were his priority.

But still, he got such mixed vibes around her. Because while she seemed uncomfortable around his kids, when she looked at them he saw a haunted look that puzzled him. He wanted to find out more about her.

Yet he knew he shouldn’t go there. He didn’t have room in his life for anyone else. Things were getting too busy with his Rodeo Group work.

He turned to leave but his father, who had been sitting beside him, stayed where he was, grinning about something.

“So what do you think about asking Miss Ella over for lunch?” Boyce asked, his eyes bright.

Cord sent up a prayer for patience, recognizing, once again, his father’s not-so-subtle matchmaking.

The past couple of months his dad had been after Cord to go out and date. Make himself available. The same thing his friend Owen had been saying.

“Me and the kids are going to Lisa’s parents’ place for lunch,” he said, squashing his dad’s plans. “Besides, she won’t come anyway.”

“You’re making those poor kids sit in the car for over an hour just for a visit?” Boyce grumped, conveniently ignoring the last part of Cord’s statement.

Cord knew exactly what his father thought of his bimonthly visits to his in-laws. Boyce brought it up most every time he went. “Suzy, Paul and Oliver are their grandchildren too,” he said.

“Seems to me they could get themselves over to the ranch once in a while,” Boyce muttered, hitching up his blue jeans.

Cord wasn’t getting into that old argument. Though they had come to the Bar W a couple of times, Louis and Hope had often said how hard it was for them to be in on the ranch in this house. To see the memories of their daughter and be reminded of their loss.

Did they never think it was hard for him to be there every day?

He brushed the disloyal thoughts aside. He made the trip because he should. It had become a way of finding some type of absolution.

And have you?

“Well, I feel badly for Ella,” his father said, clearly not letting go of that particular topic. “She seems pretty alone.”