Mia Ross - The Bachelor's Baby

For a few minutes, anyway.

She’d been feeling the baby move for weeks now, but sometimes she still marveled at those simple reminders that there was a small person growing inside of her. The jabs came at all times of the day, so they were always a surprise to her, making her wonder if the restlessness was a hint at the personality to come. And if it was, how would she cope with raising such an active child all by herself?

Her own mother hadn’t managed the task all that well, and while Lindsay recognized that she’d been a handful, she’d often felt that Mom could have tried harder to bond with her independent-minded daughter. After all, Lindsay had come by her stubbornness innocently enough, inheriting not only her mother’s looks but her headstrong attitude, as well.

It seemed disloyal to feel that way, and as she’d matured, Lindsay had come to understand that Mom had done the best she could. Too bad it hadn’t even come close to what an insecure teenage girl needed.

The baby was now resting calmly under her hand, and she smiled down to where her palm rested. “I promise to always be there for you, little one, no matter what.”

She sensed a flutter of movement, as if her child had heard the vow and was acknowledging it. It was times like these when she—as nonreligious as a person could get—honestly believed in miracles.

A motion in the doorway caught her attention, and she glanced up to find Brian leaning against the jamb, arms crossed while he gazed curiously at her. “How’s it going in here?”

“Good,” she replied, patting the growing pile of finished paperwork proudly. “I just went past halfway.”

“So it’s downhill from here, then?”

In her experience, that wasn’t how things worked. But Brian was up against a nearly impossible deadline, and she decided that there wasn’t any point in being negative about their chances of actually finishing in time. “Like a snowball picking up speed.”

Cocking his head, he grinned at her. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

Stunned that he’d seen through her attempt at levity, she blinked. Either he read her better than most people did, or she was losing her ability to smooth over difficult situations with a little well-placed deceit. Whichever was accurate, it didn’t bode well for her continuing to work with someone who’d hired her out of desperation and had no reason to keep her on once this crisis had passed.

“Don’t look so panicky,” he said in a reassuring tone as he came into the office. “I’m not judging you or anything. Since we’re gonna be working together, I was thinking it might go better if we’re straight with each other.”

Relief washed over her, and she forced a shaky smile. “Oh. Okay.”

Spinning a rickety-looking folding chair around, he crossed his arms on the back and sat facing her. “So, whatta you really think?”

“It will be tight, but I’ll get it done.” Bravado aside, she got the feeling that it was time to finally put their difficult history in the rearview. For both of them. “I know I haven’t always been trustworthy in the past, Brian, but I’m working really hard to change that.”

“Because of the baby?”

“Mostly.”

“What about for yourself?” She wasn’t sure how to respond to that, and after a few moments, he continued, “You deserve better than you’ve gotten, Lindsay. You’re smart and funny, and you’ve got a good heart. Have you ever thought about what you wanted, just for you?”

“College would’ve been nice,” she admitted shyly, hesitant to voice a wish that had proven to be too far out of reach for her. “I always wanted to— Never mind. It’s too crazy.”

That made him laugh, and she saw the humor lighting his eyes in the way she remembered so fondly.

“Look around,” he said, holding his arms out in emphasis. “I’m restoring a business to run the way it did in the 1800s. Anything you come up with won’t be half as crazy as what I’m doing here.”

His confidence and reassuring words eased her hesitance, and she decided to go for it. At the worst, he’d laugh. At the best, he’d understand how it felt to have a dream that everyone else thought was unattainable. “I’ve always wanted to be a family therapist. You know, counsel kids and their families who are having a tough time, help them learn a better way to handle things.”

“You’ve got some experience with that,” he said gently, sympathy warming the blue in his eyes to something she could almost feel from across the desk.

“Yeah, and I’ve often wondered if Mom and I would’ve done better if someone had taught us a better way of dealing with each other.”

“Life gets harder all the time, it seems,” he commented in a pensive tone. “My childhood here was awesome, but the older I get, the faster the world seems to spin. I can’t imagine how tough it is for kids these days.”

“It’s hard for grown-ups, too,” Lindsay added, hearing enthusiasm in her voice for the first time in what felt like forever. “Struggling families aren’t good for anyone, but especially for the kids involved. I really believe that a little help at the right time can make all the difference.”

“So why didn’t you pursue that? You were always a great student, and you were definitely smart enough to do well in college.”

“Money, for one.”

“There’s all kinds of scholarships out there,” he argued, as if him saying it was enough to make it happen. And for Brian, someone full of talent and self-confidence, it was probably true.

But for her, the real problem had been something she’d never been able to define. With him sitting there, urging her to seriously consider the dream she’d abandoned so long ago, she finally had to admit the truth. To herself.

“Jeff didn’t think I should do it,” she said in a meek, doormat voice that made her want to cringe. “He said we couldn’t afford to lose my salary and waste money on something that might not pan out. After a while, I guess I started to believe him.”

Brian’s jaw clenched around something he was clearly dying to say but wouldn’t because he respected her feelings. She couldn’t recall the last time anyone had kept an opinion to themselves out of concern for how it might hurt her.

It was comforting to know that—unlike so many people who’d run through her chaotic life—Brian Calhoun hadn’t changed. He still cared about her, and even though she’d blown her one chance with him, he’d make a great friend, she realized. A girl in her situation could never have too many of those.

“He was wrong,” Brian finally spat, his words heavily salted with disdain. “You can do whatever you set your mind to, Lindsay. Now that you’re away from him, I hope you’ll forget everything he ever told you and be able to focus on what’s best for you and the baby. Anything else is just noise, as far as I can see.”

“Focus,” she echoed, tilting her head while she considered his advice. “You’re right. That’s exactly what I need. What I always needed,” she admitted, shaking her head as things crystallized in her mind. “I just never found a way to get it.”

“You were too distracted, trying to get past your mom’s reputation and make people like you. Then you met Jeff, and you lost sight of everything else.”

Lost was exactly how she’d felt her entire life, she realized with a clarity so sudden it felt like a starburst in her mind. Except for when a small-town boy had reached out and offered her not only his attention but his love.

And how did she repay his generosity? She turned away from everything he represented, leaping into an uncertain future with a man who’d later stolen her ability to provide for the innocent child he’d abandoned when he left her.