Cathy Glass - Another Forgotten Child

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A new memoir from Sunday Times and New York Times bestselling author Cathy Glass, now with an exclusive preview of Cathy’s inspiring new title, Please Don’t Take My Baby, coming out on April 25th.Eight-year-old Aimee was on the child protection register at birth. Her five older siblings were taken into care many years ago. So no one can understand why she was left at home to suffer for so long. It seems Aimee was forgotten.The social services are looking for a very experienced foster carer to look after Aimee and, when she reads the referral, Cathy understands why. Despite her reservations, Cathy agrees to Aimee on – there is something about her that reminds Cathy of Jodie (the subject of ‘Damaged’ and the most disturbed child Cathy has cared for), and reading the report instantly tugs at her heart strings.When she arrives, Aimee is angry. And she has every right to be. She has spent the first eight years of her life living with her drug-dependent mother in a flat that the social worker described as ‘not fit for human habitation’. Aimee is so grateful as she snuggles into her bed at Cathy’s house on the first night that it brings Cathy to tears.Aimee’s aggressive mother is constantly causing trouble at contact, and makes sweeping allegations against Cathy and her family in front of her daughter as well. It is a trying time for Cathy, and it makes it difficult for Aimee to settle. But as Aimee begins to trust Cathy, she starts to open up. And the more Cathy learns about Aimee’s life before she came into care, the more horrified she becomes.It’s clear that Aimee should have been rescued much sooner and as her journey seems to be coming to a happy end, Cathy can’t help but reflect on all the other ‘forgotten children’ that are still suffering…

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‘I can’t fit in there,’ Aimee said, pointing to the small gap where the chair was up against the table. ‘I ain’t that thin.’

Unable to believe that Aimee hadn’t realized that the chair needed to be pulled out from the table in order to allow enough room for her to sit down, I gently eased it away.

‘The chairs move!’ Aimee said, surprised. ‘They ain’t like that in McDonald’s. They’re glued to the floor.’

Lucy and Paula knew better than to say anything but stared at Aimee in disbelief. Could her only experience of eating at a table be at McDonald’s? It was possible. Aimee finally sat in her chair but made no attempt to draw it in close enough to the table so that she could eat. I slid the chair to the table.

‘I guess your mum and dad didn’t have a table at their flats?’ I asked Aimee.

‘No. We sit on the mattress on the floor.’

Children with parents who didn’t own a dining table certainly wasn’t unique; I’d looked after many children who’d come from homes where meals were eaten on the sofa in front of the television. But what did surprise me, indeed it took my breath away, was Aimee’s reply to my next question.

‘But surely when you’re at school, you eat your school dinner at a table with everyone else?’ I asked.

‘I never get to school in time for dinner,’ Aimee said matter-of-factly.

‘What, never?’ I asked, feeling I must have misunderstood. Aimee was in her fourth year of schooling, so it was inconceivable she had never done a full day in school which included lunch. ‘I know you were often late for school but you must have got there on time some mornings, surely?’

‘No, never,’ Aimee said adamantly, shaking her head. ‘Mum never woke up until it was too late. I tried shaking her but it weren’t no good. She was out of it.’

Probably from drugs, I thought. But I still wasn’t convinced Aimee had never been in school for a full day. Surely the school’s head teacher, the social services or the education welfare officer would have acted? In the UK it is illegal not to send a child to school or provide an acceptable alternative education, which clearly Aimee’s parents hadn’t done. I would be taking Aimee to school the following day, when I would, I hoped, find out more. Now I went into the kitchen and returned with a cottage pie, which is a favourite of ours as well as all the children I’d fostered; I’d never come across a meat-eating child who didn’t like cottage pie. Until now.

‘Yuck! What’s that?’ Aimee asked rudely as I placed the dish on the table.

‘Cottage pie. Mum’s special,’ Lucy said. ‘It’s yummy.’

‘Ain’t having it. I don’t like cottage,’ Aimee said, clearly having no idea what a cottage pie was. ‘I have biscuits for me tea.’

‘This is dinner,’ Paula said. ‘We have a cooked meal at dinner.’

‘It’s potato and minced meat,’ I said.

‘I want me biscuits,’ Aimee said. ‘Me mum packed ’em.’

Aimee slid off her chair quicker than I’d seen her move before, and going into the hall returned with the dirty plastic supermarket carrier bag she’d arrived with. She dumped it on the table where we were about to eat and began taking out its filthy contents, all of which were grey and stank of stale smoke: a dirty threadbare pyjama top; a chewed and filthy teddy bear; a pair of torn faded knickers; one filthy sock; and a half-eaten packet of chocolate biscuits. I moved the cottage pie to one side, away from the disgusting pile of rubbish that was Aimee’s belongings. Aimee quickly peeled off the top biscuit from the packet and began stuffing it in her mouth.

‘No more,’ I said. ‘You can have another biscuit after your dinner.’ I quickly gathered up her belongings and returned them to the plastic carrier bag, which I put on the floor.

‘Biscuits are me dinner,’ Aimee said, her mouth full.

She was about to take another biscuit from the packet when, to her utter amazement and my surprise, Lucy leant across the table and whisked the packet out of Aimee’s hand. ‘Cathy said no more,’ Lucy said with a sweet placatory smile.

‘Give ’em back!’ Aimee demanded aggressively.

‘Later,’ Lucy said. ‘Things are different in foster care. They are much better. I used to have biscuits for my dinner before I came into care. Now I eat all the nice meals Cathy cooks, just as you will.’

‘No, I ain’t,’ Aimee said.

‘You can have another biscuit after your dinner,’ I said.

‘I don’t like dinner,’ Aimee said, swallowing the last of the biscuit with a loud gulp.

‘Try some and you may,’ I said, throwing Lucy and Paula a reassuring smile, for they were both looking concerned.

I served the dinner on to the plates, giving Aimee a small portion, which I placed in front of her. I sat down and Lucy, Paula and I started eating while Aimee sat with her arms folded across her chest and her face set in defiance, scowling and angry. Then after some moments she picked up her knife and fork and plunged them into her dinner, clearly with no idea how to use them. She certainly wasn’t the first child I’d looked after who didn’t know how to use cutlery because they’d only ever eaten finger food at home.

‘Like this,’ I said, showing her how I was holding my knife and fork. ‘Or you can use your spoon if it’s easier.’

I saw Aimee glance at Lucy and Paula and perhaps she wanted to be like them for, to her credit, she picked up her knife and fork and made a good attempt to use them. She managed to get some food into her mouth and, finding the taste acceptable, scooped up some more, so that gradually as Lucy, Paula and I continued eating so too did she.

‘Well done,’ I said as she cleared her plate. Then to all three girls: ‘Would you like pudding now or later?’

‘Later,’ Paula and Lucy said.

‘I want me biscuits now,’ Aimee said.

I nodded to Lucy, who’d tucked the packet of biscuits on to the chair next to her, and she passed the packet to Aimee, who set upon them ravenously. After four biscuits I said, ‘That’s enough for now. You’ll make yourself ill.’

Aimee ignored me and took another biscuit from the packet and began stuffing it into her mouth. I knew I had to start as I meant to carry on and it wasn’t in Aimee’s best interest to gorge on biscuits. I quickly popped into the kitchen and returned with an attractive brightly coloured empty tin on which I’d already printed Aimee’s name.

‘This is your special tin,’ I said with exaggerated enthusiasm. ‘This is where you will keep your biscuits and your sweets, and you can have a few each day. They’ll be safe in here and no one else will eat them.’ Experience had taught me that children from homes where food has been in short supply often hoard and then gorge food once it is freely available in foster care. Having a tin of their own often helps. But although Aimee was looking at the tin with interest, she was also peeling off yet another biscuit. I gently took the packet from her hand and put it in the tin.

‘’Ere! Give ’em to me!’ Aimee demanded. ‘They’re my biscuits.’

‘I know they are, love, and they’ll be quite safe in your tin. You can have another one tomorrow.’

‘I’m gonna tell me mum you took my biscuits and she’ll make a complaint against you!’ Aimee threatened, jutting out her chin.

I saw Lucy and Paula were about to say something in my defence but I motioned to them not to. Aimee was only repeating something she’d heard her mother say, probably in respect of her older half-siblings, all of whom were in care. I now concentrated on my next task, which was to get Aimee clean. ‘Would you like a bath or a shower?’ I asked, remembering to use the closed choice.

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