Kitty Neale - Lost & Found

‘What’s the point?’ Lily snapped. ‘She won’t understand.’

‘Please, give Mavis a bit of credit for once,’ Doris appealed.

‘Oh, all right. I’ll give it a go.’

Doris left the room, relieved that under the cover of needing indigestion pills, she could actually take her painkillers. Blimey, talk about having to lie quickly, but with Lily so distracted by Mavis it had worked well. After glancing over her shoulder, she quickly swallowed them down, praying it wouldn’t be too long before she felt the effects. For a few minutes Doris remained where she was, but fighting to gather her strength she returned to the living room.

Lily was talking to Mavis and the girl looked pink-cheeked. ‘I hope I haven’t wasted my time, Mavis. Do you understand what I’ve told you?’

‘I … I think so.’

‘You think so,’ Lily echoed with disgust. ‘That isn’t good enough. You’re too bloody thick, that’s the problem.’

‘Lily, don’t talk to her like that.’

‘Why not? It’s the truth.’

‘You’re too hard on her,’ Doris insisted as she took a seat by the fire. She then smiled gently at Mavis before saying, ‘What did your mother tell you?’

Flushing pink again, Mavis mumbled, ‘That boys are dirty buggers and that I mustn’t let them touch me. And … and that I mustn’t let them show me their … their thingies.’

‘Good girl. See, Lily, she does understand.’

‘Yeah, if you say so, Mum, but in future, if Mavis doesn’t stay away from them, I’ll skin her alive.’

‘I will, Mum. I will stay away,’ Mavis cried.

‘You’d better, my girl,’ Lily warned.

The pain had eased a little and Doris slumped back in her chair. She was tired, so tired, and knew that once the medication really kicked in, sleep would follow.

‘Mum, do you feel any better?’

‘Yes, I’m fine.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘For goodness sake, Lily! I said I’m all right and I meant it.’

‘Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure before I go. Come on, Mavis. Get your coat on and we’ll be off.’

Mavis did as she was told, and Doris managed to smile at her granddaughter when she leaned over to kiss her goodbye. ‘See you soon, darlin’.’

‘Bye, Gran,’ Mavis whispered.

‘I’ll be round in the morning, Mum,’ Lily said.

‘Yeah, all right,’ Doris managed, barely able to keep her eyes open as they left. She heard the front door closing, and then shifted a little in her chair, her weary eyes on the one opposite.

Walter was wagging his finger at her, but in her defence she said, ‘All right, don’t start. I know I lied to her, told her that I’m fine, but she’ll find out soon enough. Just not yet.’

Doris knew her time was limited; her one wish now to see her daughter and Mavis living in a bit more comfort before she left. Huh, there was little chance of that. ‘Walter, if only Lily hadn’t married that good-for-nothing. If only she’d married a decent bloke …’

Walter’s voice seemed to fill her head. ‘Will she, Walter? Will she really be all right?’

He faded and Doris felt tears gathering in her eyes. If anyone knew that she talked to her dead husband they’d have her committed, but since the day he’d died thirty-six years ago, she had never been able to let him go.

‘Well, love, it won’t be long now,’ she said. ‘We’ll be together again soon,’ and though it hurt her to leave Lily and Mavis the pain was getting so bad that Doris would welcome the end.

Mavis walked silently home beside her mother, expecting her to rant and rave again, but instead she didn’t say a word. She had sort of understood what her mother had told her, but didn’t know why boys shouldn’t touch her. There had been mention of dire consequences, of them making her pregnant, but her mother hadn’t told her exactly how it happened.

They were home and in the kitchen before her mother opened her mouth, but only to say gruffly, ‘I expect you’re hungry. I’ll bank up the fire first and then heat up some stew.’

Mavis wanted to ask questions, to understand how babies were made, but was too scared to bring up the subject again. She took off her coat, hung it up on the hook behind the back door, and then she sat at the table, still looking warily at her mother.

‘Mrs Pugh said you did well today.’

‘You … you’ve seen her?’

‘Yeah. I went round there looking for you. Don’t you ever do that again, my girl. When you’ve done your hour for Mrs Pugh, I want you to come straight home.’

Mavis nodded, unable to ignore the growl of hunger coming from her stomach. She’d been too scared and upset to eat the stew her grandmother had offered, but now watched avidly as her mother brought the fire to life before going to light the gas under a saucepan. On the few occasions she’d eaten school dinner, she got just a bit of bread and jam or dripping for her tea, but now she’d have two hot meals in a day.

Of course, it was down to the five pounds her dad had left, and Mavis prayed he’d keep his promise. If he did, she wouldn’t have to take the pram out any more, and with less time on the streets it would be easier to keep out of Larry’s and Tommy’s way. But what about Larry’s threats? One hadn’t worked. Thanks to Gran, her mother didn’t believe him, but there was the other one looming over her head, making her stomach clench with fear. He said he’d make it worse for her if she opened her mouth and she’d done just that. Mavis felt a wave of nausea. What would Larry do now?

‘Here, get that down you,’ Lily said as she put bowls of stew on the table.

Mavis picked up her spoon, but her hand was shaking and as she took her first mouthful she found it difficult to swallow. Should she tell her mother? ‘Mum, I’m scared.’

‘Scared of what?’

‘Larry said that if I told anyone, he’d make it worse for me.’

‘He said that, did he? Well, don’t you worry about him, my girl. I’ll sort him out in the morning, and his friend Tommy. I’ll also have another few choice words to say to their mothers.’

On hearing this Mavis slumped with relief. But, just to be on the safe side, she’d be extra vigilant when she went out. She tucked into her stew again, looking up when her mother spoke.

‘After I’ve had a word in their ears, I doubt those boys will have the nerve to come near you again, but if they do, make sure you tell me. You should have come to me in the first place, and from now on, no more secrets, Mavis. Do you understand?’

‘Yes, Mum,’ Mavis agreed.

There was silence for a while as they both continued to eat, but then Lily said, ‘I must say, from what I saw of it, Edith Pugh has got a nice place.’

Mavis found her eyes widening. Her mother was talking again, but this time making conversation. She never did that! ‘Yes, but she’s really fussy,’ Mavis said eagerly. ‘She’s got cream furniture in her living room and I had to wash my hands before I started work.’

‘Did you now? And what cleaning did you do?’

‘Mostly hoovering, but then I made a cup of tea and peeled some potatoes before I left.’

‘Gawd, Mavis. Did you break anything?’

‘No. I was really careful.’

‘Thank Gawd for that, but you know what a clumsy cow you are. If you start smashing her china the job won’t last five minutes.’

Mavis again found her throat constricting again. Yes, she was clumsy, useless, and how would Mrs Pugh react if she broke one of her precious ornaments? Would she go mad like her mother? Would she sack her on the spot? Yes, probably, and then her mother would be furious.

Lily was so full of guilt that she was glad when Mavis went to bed at nine o’clock. Without bothering to hear her side of the story, she’d thought the worst of her daughter. She’d believed those two little sods! What sort of mother was she? Lily didn’t like the way she was feeling and fought to find excuses. With a daughter like Mavis, was it any wonder? No, of course it wasn’t. The girl should’ve had enough sense to know it was dangerous to be alone on the common with boys, but unlike other girls of her age she was as daft as a brush.