Shirlee McCoy - Out of Time

“A move toward what?”

“Political footing, maybe.” He shrugged, and Susannah could almost feel his frustration, could feel the tension that rolled off him.

“You’ll find your answers, Levi.” She touched his arm just as she would have fourteen years ago, felt the same instant connection, the same certainty of herself and her place in the world that she’d felt when she’d been too young to realize that the childish love she’d had for Levi couldn’t last.

That surprised her, and she let her hand drop away, rubbing her fingers against her jacket, trying to wipe away his warmth and her response to it.

“I have no doubt about that, Susie. What I’m worried about is finding answers before the opening ceremony.”

“We have over a week. That’s a good amount of time.”

“It’s nothing compared to the months we’ve already spent searching for answers, but numbering our days isn’t going to help secure the Alamo. Do you have security cameras at the compound?”

“Yes. I’m sure Chad will take a look at the tapes tonight. We’re going to meet at six in the morning to discuss what happened.”

“Just you and Chad?”

“The entire park Ranger team.”

“Good. I’d like to meet your people, and I’d like to take a look at the security footage. Someone opened that gate, and, if we’re lucky, the tapes will show us who.”

“I’ve never been real keen on luck,” Susannah said, stopping at the head of the alley that led to the parking lot and her Mustang.

She needed to say goodbye.

Let Levi go on his way.

But the dark alley seemed to pulse with life, the shadows reeked of danger.

She hated this part of her day. The shifting from busyness to quiet left her with too much time to think and too many memories waiting to drag her down into terror.

“Just a turn of phrase, Susie. God provides the answers, He orchestrates the timing. I just wish He’d move a little more quickly on this.”

“That’s the most difficult thing about faith. Holding on to it even when things don’t work out how we want or when we want. Waiting for answers to prayer? It’s killer.”

“What answers are you waiting for?”

“Healing. Peace,” she answered honestly.

“They’ll come.” His knuckles skimmed down her cheek, the touch featherlight and barely there, but she felt it to the depth of her soul. That connection, that knowing. Her body responding to memories of better times and happier days.

“I need to go.” She forced herself to move away.

“Where are you parked?”

“Just on the other side of the alley.”

“I’ll walk you to your car.” He didn’t give her a chance to protest, just took her arm and started walking.

Darkness pressed in as they moved deeper into the alley, and she shivered, her heart beating double-time. Could he feel her pounding pulse? Did he sense her terror?

Susannah tried to still her frantic breathing, hold her panic in, but it bubbled out in tremors that shook her body.

“It’s okay.” His words were as gentle as his touch had been, his voice washing over her and stealing away some of her fear.

“I know.”

“Then why are you shaking?”

“Because I hate the dark. I hate what could be hiding in it.”

“Nothing is here that we can’t deal with together.”

“You’re wrong, Levi. What’s inside of me? The fear I feel every day? That’s something I have to deal with alone.”

“Not anymore.”

“Do you think that because you’ve walked back into my life, all my problems will be solved?” She laughed, the sound as dry and used up as she felt.

“What I think is that two people together can do a whole lot more than one person alone.”

“Then maybe we should concentrate on coming up with a plan for dealing with Hank Zarvy. That seems like a lot better use of our time than worrying about how to change what I feel.”

“Worrying about you could never be a waste of my time.”

“Levi, it’s been fourteen years, and we’ve barely thought of each other in that time. I don’t think you need to worry about me.”

“Who said I’ve barely thought about you?”

“You didn’t try to contact me. I didn’t try to contact you. Once you left for college, we both went on with our lives. But, like I said, we have more important things to do than chat about the past or about my issues.”

Issues?

That made it sound like she had a penchant for dating the wrong guy or a spending problem or maybe even a tiny problem with alcohol.

Issues were little things.

Aaron was huge. What he’d done, what he’d stolen from her, had carved an empty spot in her soul, left her open and wounded and bleeding.

And desperate for the kind of healing she wasn’t sure she’d ever find.

“Like I said, ignoring the past doesn’t make it go away.”

“We need to come up with a plan for tomorrow. I’ve dealt with Zarvy on a couple of occasions. He’s not an easy personality.”

“Not a very subtle change of subjects, Susie.”

“I didn’t mean for it to be.”

“So, we’ll do things your way. Zarvy can be easygoing when he wants to be.”

“Generally, he doesn’t want to be.”

“True, but he wants to make sure the ceremony goes off without a hitch. I think he’ll be eager to cooperate with whatever plans we put into place. We didn’t get a chance to go over your security plans, but we can do that tomorrow. I’ll meet you at the Alamo before the meeting. Say five-thirty? We can drive over to Zarvy’s place together after Morran briefs your team.”

“I’ll take my car and follow you.”

“That would be a waste of gas. Besides, we can finalize any details on the way to Zarvy’s place.”

“I—” He was right. Of course he was. Riding together was reasonable, and Susannah had been trying for months to do reasonable things. Get up. Go to work. Refuse to give in to the temptation to structure every moment of every day around her fear. “All right. That sounds good.”

“Is this where you’re parked?” He gestured to a small parking lot in front of an old brick building.

“Yes.” She’d parked beneath a streetlight in the middle of the lot, and she crossed the pavement quickly, Levi keeping pace beside her. Light spilled down onto the car, bathing it in a pale yellow glow, and Susannah’s blood ran cold as she caught sight of something lying on its hood. A single rose. Deep red or black. She reached out, stopping short of picking it up.

A single rose.

Like the ones Aaron had left on her front porch, on her desk at work, on her bed. She shuddered, taking an unconscious step back and bumping into Levi.

“Looks like someone left you a gift.” His hands cupped her arms, holding her steady, but she barely felt his touch. Couldn’t feel anything but the terror that was taking hold.

“Looks like it.” Her voice was as brittle and dry as old bones.

“Are you going to take it?”

“No.”

“I guess there’s a reason why not.” He didn’t ask, though, and she didn’t say. Didn’t dare try to say. If she did, she might shatter into a million pieces.

He lifted the rose and held it up to the light. It was a perfect velvety blossom, the thorns removed from the stem.

Susannah swayed, her heart skipping one beat and then another, her breath coming so quick and fast she felt dizzy.

“Susannah?” Levi let the rose drop to the ground, and it lay there like a snake. She could almost imagine it coming to life, slithering close and striking.

“Take a deep breath, Susie. Now!” Levi pushed back his hat and leaned close, looking straight into her eyes, his gaze as compelling and demanding as his voice.

She couldn’t refuse him, and she drew in a deep breath and then another, oxygen flooding her brain.