Victoria Dahl - Close Enough to Touch

“Hello?” she asked with obvious suspicion.

“Grace! Oh, my God, we haven’t talked in almost a week. Are you in Wyoming? Do you have any minutes left?”

Grace smiled as the voice of her best friend traveled from a satellite and made her sound like she was standing right there. “Merry,” she said in utter relief. “Yeah, I’ve got minutes. What’s up, chick?”

“What’s up? Oh, my God, tell me what’s going on! The last time I talked to you, you had some sort of plan to go be a mountain man or something. And I haven’t been able to get through since!”

“It’s this phone,” she said, which was only partly true. Mostly, she’d been avoiding her best friend. “I have to keep it off or the battery dies. I’m sorry. Everything’s good. I’m in Jackson. It’s beautiful.”

“Beautiful? Really? Where’s Grace Barrett and what have you done with her?”

“Ha. Yes, the mountains are pretty, the people are friendly in an almost noncreepy way, and I just got a job.”

Merry squealed. “I’m so glad! You actually sound happy!”

“Bite your tongue. But happy or not, it’s really still me. I plan to ditch this joint in a month or so.”

“Are you coming to Dallas? Please tell me you’re coming to Dallas.”

“Merry, we’ve discussed this. Texas is not the place for me.”

“Oh, my God, you’re in Wyoming, for godssake! And you love it, apparently. How can you dismiss Texas?”

“I don’t love it,” Grace insisted. “I just have a free place to stay. So stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting,” Merry said, very obviously pouting.

“You are, but it’s cute.”

“I just don’t understand why you couldn’t come live with me.”

“I need to be in Vancouver in a few weeks,” Grace explained. “Texas is a little out of the way. Listen, I should go—”

“No! You haven’t told me anything!”

Grace winced in guilt.

“Please tell me what happened. You were trying to get organized so you could get work at L.A. Fashion Week. Then all of a sudden you were leaving town.”

“Nothing happened,” she lied. “I lined up this job in Vancouver and then my aunt offered me the apartment, so I decided there was no point hanging around L.A. That’s it.”

“Grace.” Her flat voice made Grace’s throat burn with shame. Merry knew it was a lie, but Grace couldn’t tell her the truth. She just couldn’t.

“I’m good,” Grace said. “Really good.” That might be an exaggeration, but she embraced it. “In fact, I’m on my way to a saloon to celebrate the new job.”

That distracted Merry, as Grace had known it would. Merry loved shiny things, and a saloon was awfully shiny. “What?” she chirped. “A saloon? You’re lying!”

“I’m not. It’s literally next door to my apartment. There are cowboys in it.”

“In your apartment?”

She laughed. “No, not at the moment.”

Merry missed that little hint, and Grace couldn’t help but grin. If she knew Grace’s new neighbor was a sexy hot cowboy with thighs of steel, Merry would squeal loud enough to break the cheap phone. Grace was going to save that little tidbit for a day when she needed cheering up. Merry’s joy was medicine for Grace. Something she needed to take like a vitamin when she was feeling low.

“All right,” Merry huffed. “Go flirt with some cute cowboys for me. But call me soon, okay? I miss you.”

Grace was smiling as she hung up. Merry had wanted Grace to stay with her, but Grace had stayed with her twice when they’d both lived in L.A. Accepting help once was too much. Twice was unbearable. A third time? No. Never. She’d rather sleep in the bus station.

In fact, she had slept in the bus station. But only for one night. Before that, she’d managed to find an old friend who’d owed her a favor. Unfortunately, staying at his place had been the worst mistake of all. He’d had an insane party, and someone had stolen her purse and everything in it, including Scott’s money.

Why the hell had she taken it? She should’ve just walked away with the lie that he didn’t owe her anything.

She’d really screwed herself over now. But she couldn’t tell Merry this time. At some point, Merry would decide Grace was a loser with too many problems who needed to be ditched.

Merry didn’t need someone like Grace hanging around, after all. Her name actually matched her personality. She was sweet and happy and kind. And a little awkward in a cute way. But for some reason, she loved Grace. In fact, aside from Grandma Rose, Merry was the only person in the world who loved her, and Grace would be damned if she’d ever do anything to damage that. Ever.

Grace tucked her phone away and walked over to the saloon. She didn’t plan on having a drink. But Jenny offered her a celebratory shot of tequila. And then a beer on the house.

“I can’t,” Grace protested.

“Come on. It’s not every day I find someone a job.”

Grace started to shake her head.

“And it annoys the hell out of Rayleen when I give away beer.”

“Well, in that case.”

Jenny laughed and slid her a beer. “I’m so happy for you.”

“You don’t even know me!” Grace said, shaking her head in exasperation.

“Of course I do. You’re Rayleen’s grandniece, Grace.”

“That’s not what I mean,” she said, but she took the beer. “Thank you. Really.”

“Maybe sometime you can teach me how to do my makeup.”

“Your makeup is fine.”

“I never know what to do with my eyes,” she said. “My eyelids are fat, and now that I’m getting older, they just look puffy.”

Grace laughed and shook her head, but it was the kind of thing she heard all the time. A lot of women felt helpless about makeup. “Let me know when you want some tips.”

“I will. I feel self-conscious around you!”

“That’s ridiculous,” Grace said, and she meant it. She was the one who always felt self-conscious. Not about her looks. She wasn’t pretty, but she didn’t mind. She did what she could to make sure people knew who she was before they even approached her. She wanted them to know that she wasn’t like other girls, so they wouldn’t be surprised by that. She wasn’t soft or sweet or comforting, especially these days. She didn’t know how to be taken care of, much less how to take care of others. She took care of herself. She always had.

No matter what the cost, apparently.

When her thoughts veered back to L.A., Grace gulped down half her beer. She didn’t want to think about that. She didn’t want to, but how could she avoid it?

The truths she’d known about herself, the few things she’d been proud of… She’d thrown all that away.

No, that wasn’t right. She hadn’t even been strong enough to throw them away. She’d just dropped them, let them scatter in the wind. Her pride, her strength, the weapons she’d armed herself with every single day of her life. All the success she’d carved out of this world through blood, sweat and tears—she’d given that up.

Grace Barrett, a girl who’d never needed anyone…she’d let herself need him.

The worst part was, she’d be in the exact same place right now if she’d left him on her own terms. She’d have nothing and no one, just as she did now. But she’d also have her pride. And everything she’d ever believed about herself.

She’d have that.

Now she had less than nothing. Now she didn’t even know who she was. She certainly wasn’t the tough, kick-ass girl who wouldn’t take shit from anyone. She’d taken plenty of shit from Scott. She’d put her head down and kept her mouth shut, and she’d taken it. And on top of everything, she’d been reduced to living on the edge again. Just like when she’d been sixteen.