Derek Landy - The Dying of the Light

Saracen stepped forward, turning to smile at the onlookers. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are inspectors from the National Black Belt Review Board, and we need to talk to Mr Noonan about his teaching methods. I’m afraid tonight’s class will have to be cut short. Thanks very much for your attention, and safe home.”

Saracen bowed, then turned on his heel and walked after Vex. The Monster Hunters followed as the students and parents murmured among themselves and began to file out. Fletcher was the last one into the office, and he closed the door behind him. Noonan was sitting in his chair, his hands shackled, while some very intimidating men looked down at him.

“Where are the others?” Vex asked.

“Other what?” said Noonan. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I need some ice for my head. I think my hand is broken. And my foot. And maybe my nose.”

Saracen sat on the edge of the desk. “Do you like being him? This man you’ve hijacked? He seems a tad petty, doesn’t he? I bet you’ve inhabited far more interesting people over the years than this loser.”

Noonan glowered. “I’m not a loser.”

“You’re a pudgy martial arts instructor with a quick temper and no control. You regularly hurt your students in order to show off and boost your own ego. You’re a loser, my friend.”

“Take these cuffs off and I’ll show you who the real loser is.”

“Don’t make this any more difficult for yourself,” said Vex. “Listen, we’ve seen worse Remnants. Some of them, they possess a body and their first instinct is to kill. To cause damage. But you? Your first instinct was to eat junk food. To experience . It looks like you really wanted to make this work.”

Noonan nodded. “I did. I do.”

“You’re probably tired of being hunted, right? Tired of being caught and locked away?”

“Exactly!” said Noonan. “I just want to fit in now. I want to live.”

“Like this?” Saracen asked. “Like a loser?”

“I am not a loser!”

“You really think you could keep this up? We know what you’re like. You’re a Remnant. You have no conscience. Sooner or later, you’d kill someone.”

“No! Not this time! This time I’m going to have a proper life!”

Saracen laughed. “I swear to God, I’d almost believe this guy.”

“I’m telling the truth!” Noonan insisted. He looked to Vex. “I’m not going to kill anyone. Yeah, fine, I don’t have a conscience, but so what? Most of the really successful business people in the world are technically psychopaths. They don’t kill people, do they? I don’t have to, either. Let me prove it. Let me stay in this body, and let me prove it.”

Vex frowned. “What? You want us to just walk away? We came here to track you Remnants down and lock you up again.”

“Please,” said Noonan. “I can help you. The others aren’t here. They’ve gone on. If you leave me alone, I’ll tell you where.”

“And how do we know you’re telling the truth?”

“Have you seen any other Remnants? You haven’t, have you? You said it yourself, most of them start to kill people pretty soon after taking a new host. There haven’t been any murders in the area because they’re not here. Things are different this time.”

“Different how?”

Noonan hesitated.

“I’m your only chance of getting what you want,” said Vex. “You either talk to me now, tell me what you know, or we take out the Soul Catcher and lock you away.”

“Darquesse released us,” said Noonan. “She wants an army, ready to swoop in at her command. Only … only things have changed. We don’t think of her in the same way any more.”

“Does she know this?” Saracen asked.

“No,” said Noonan. “I don’t think so anyway. But she ordered us to lie low until, you know, she needs us. So they all went off.”

“Except for you.”

“We passed this town. I saw all the people. I couldn’t resist. I took a body. I realised, yes, I actually want a life without looking over my shoulder the whole time. So I took another body, and then I took this one.”

Saracen frowned. “This loser is the best you could find?”

“I am not a loser! I am a martial arts instructor! I am respected in my community!”

“Calm down,” said Vex. “Look at me. You have one chance to stay in this body. Where are they headed? The other Remnants?”

“East.”

“That’s it?” Gracious asked. “East? That’s the best you can do?”

“They’re looking for a town small enough to take over,” Noonan said. “Then they’ll settle down and wait.”

“But you don’t know where? There are a lot of towns east of here. You want us to check every single one of them?”

“I’m really sorry. I don’t know. Please … what are you going to do with me?”

“You’re possessing a body without permission,” said Vex. “I’m afraid you have to come out.”

“No. No, please, you said I could stay! You said it!”

Dai took something that looked like an empty snow globe from his coat, and Noonan jerked away.

“This is a new and improved Soul Catcher,” Saracen said. “China Sorrows herself etched a few sigils into it. Can you feel the pull? You can, can’t you? You can feel it dragging you in.”

Noonan shook his head. He was sweating badly now. “No. Nope. No.”

Dai pushed the Soul Catcher closer, and Noonan screamed.

His throat bulged. Fletcher glimpsed darkness – dark claws, snapping jaws – rise up in Noonan’s open mouth. The Remnant tried to burst free, to dart towards Gracious, but it was caught in the globe’s gravity and sucked into it. The globe instantly turned black.

Noonan collapsed in his chair. He began snoring.

Vex lifted the Soul Catcher and peered into it. “At least we know China’s improvements work,” he said. “Now all we need is another few thousand of these and we’re set.”

old hands,” Cassandra said, and Stephanie scowled.

This was ridiculous. Sitting round a table, holding hands, staring into a flickering candle. This was a bad seance in a bad TV show. She had Skulduggery on one side and Cassandra on the other, and across from her was the placid face of Finbar Wrong.

She wondered how long they’d have to sit like this.

After a few minutes, Finbar’s chin dropped to his chest. He was asleep. Again.

Stephanie bit back the ridicule. If she said something and interrupted whatever the hell was happening, they’d probably have to start again. The best thing she could do was wait until everyone else at this table realised the stupidity of what they were—

“Valkyrie?” said Cassandra. “Can you hear me?”

Stephanie took a cautious look around. She wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Valkyrie’s ghost to appear, perhaps?

“Valkyrie,” Cassandra said again. “If you can hear me, give me a sign.”

Nothing. No ghost. No lightning strike. The candle didn’t blow out. Not one thing. Just as she’d thought.

“I can hear you,” Finbar mumbled, without raising his head.

Stephanie frowned. She was about to point out that Cassandra wasn’t talking to him when he muttered something else, then said, “Skulduggery? Where’s Skulduggery?”

“I’m here,” Skulduggery said. “I was beginning to think you were lost to us.”